Do you know what I discovered today, Sunday, February 21, 2016? It is a day after the Republican Primary in South Carolina where Trump had a resounding victory over the rest of the Republican candidates, and I can’t find a soul who witnessed this debacle to return my call. I’m specifically trying to connect with the White “Evangelical Christians” who gave Trump such a huge win (no self-respecting Black person would ever vote for this clown), but no one will allow me to interview them. It’s like they did their dastardly deed and then went into hiding.
Cartoon used by permission: Randall Enos, Cagle Cartoons
I finally caught up with my alter ego, The Dalai Mama, who sent us the report from New Hampshire last week, but she seemed to be in a state of shock. (DM looks like me but takes no prisoners, and she has no filter. She says the things I wish I could say on any given day). As I connected with her on her cell phone, I immediately noticed how disheartened and exhausted she sounded.
ME: Hey, DM . . . I’m been trying to reach you since the polls closed last night in South Carolina. Where have you been? I need some intel about the SC Primary so that I can write my blog. I hear that Trump won every single congressional district. How in the hell did that happen? Wasn’t there at least one hold out? Tell me it isn’t so.
DM: Oh, you bet yo’ chubby-little-ol’-ass, it’s so.
ME: But what happened?
DM: Best I can tell, the White Christians down here done gone crazy. They put him over the top. Nasty-ass Ted Cruz is in a state of shock ‘cause he just knew he had the White Christian vote. Only thing good about Trump winnin’ is that he beat Cruz’s ass. You ain’t gonna hear this on “Mornin’ Joe,” Baby, but South Carolina White Christians done lost they ever-lovin’ minds! Jesus is weepin’ this mornin’, chil’—sobbin’ in his communion cups. Now you know I ain’t no racist, but I has to emphasize what race done this, ‘cause no self-respectin’ Black folk would ever put this man in office.
ME: Well, you don’t know that it was all White people who voted for Trump. I’m sure there were some Black folks who voted for this maniac—we are not a monolithic group.
DM: Um, um . . . I was there. Didn’t see nary a Black person. These White folks think Trump sit at the right hand of Jesus, and that he is the Great White Christian Hope. Besides, they finally get to participate in what Larry Wilmore calls the “unblackening of the White House.” No Black folk in they right mind would join in on that—we know a bigot when we sees one, even if he is a billionaire. He just a rich bigot. Lawd, have mercy! Jesus is banging his head against his throne today—I just know he is.
ME: Did you ask the people—especially the White Christians—why they voted for Trump?
DM: Sho’ I did. They say it ‘cause he tell it like it is. Say he most like them of all the candidates, and he gonna make America great again. I’m still tryin’ to figure out what that means. I didn’t see none of them with any private planes or a super model wife. I asked a couple of them if they had mansions, maids, and chauffeurs, but not one of them could say they did. You know what I think it is—they been holdin’ they breath about the Black man in the White House for eight years, and now they gots themselves a leader that say, it’s okay to hate him and to throw in the Mexicans and the Muslims in the pot since they now stirrin’ up themselves some hate stew.
ME: I’m still flummoxed over the fact that so many Christians voted for this Neanderthal. These are my brothers and sisters in Christ. Did they not hear what the Pope said about him? Basically, saying that if the dude was a Christian we would know it by his actions.
DM: Oh that just made the Trumpets more riled up. It was like feedin’ steak to a bunch of hungry pit bulls. “How dare the Pope question our savior Trump’s Christianity? Who does he think he is—God?” (Of course, they love it when Trump questions President Obama’s standin’ in Christ, ‘cause they just know the Prez is a Muslim who they hate.) As to the Pope, suddenly that ol’ hatred for Catholics just bubbled right up to the Southern Baptist surface. I thought that was long gone—haven’t seen that since John F. Kennedy was President. The Popey better be glad he made his visit to America befo’ Trump become president, because if he had come afterwards, I’d be worrin’ ‘bout the Pope’s safety. If this Trump character gets into the Oval Office, all races, creeds, and colors—except white Protestant males—will be fair game for ridicule, shame, and bullyin’.
Cartoon used by permission: Steve Sack, The Minneapolis Star Tribune
ME: Oh, Dalai. What are we going to do? I feel as if we’re being yanked back in time to a nightmare that will never end.
DM: Can you say, “help me, Jesus—help, help me, Jesus?” ‘Cause that divine power mixed with every eligible voter who ain’t lost their minds better get out and vote like they lives depend on it come November. That’s where I’m off to next. I’m startin’ the “anti-Trump” campaign coupled with the “anti-Cruz” campaign as I go from state to state (might as well bring down the devil’s spawn along with the devil). I’m gonna shout the truth from the rooftops: “Wake up you silly-ass Americans—especially you Christians. This is not what our Lawd Jesus would do! We done been had! This clown ain’t like you—he ain’t like Jesus, and you ain’t gonna get no riches, no three wives, no billions, no mansions, no airplanes! Also, get over yo’selves cause Mexicans, Muslims, Gays, and Black folks are here to stay!”
Cartoon used by permission: David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star
ELEANOR’S “SELAH” (AHA) MOMENT ABOUT CHRISTIANS AND TRUMP
I am discovering that the Christianity I hold so dear has been sold to the highest bidder, and we’ve seen this movie before. When Hitler rose to power, he did so on the votes of the Lutheran and Catholic churches. There were a remnant who fought against his election (there will always be a remnant of courageous people who speak out against madness), but for the most part people chanted: “Hitler, Hitler, he’s our man—if he can’t save us, no one can.” We have people who call themselves Christians who are pretty pissed that they have been losing what they consider the cultural wars since the 60s (women’s rights, racial equality, and globalization), and they are willing to sacrifice their beliefs in order to get back the world that they have been mourning ever since the 50s. Not only do I agree with the Pope and question Trump’s character as a so-called “Christian,” but I question the Christian character of the people who overwhelmingly delivered South Carolina into Trump’s hands. The only thing good about his win is that he beat nasty-ass Cruz who is so mean and heartless that he makes Trump look like Jesus’ sidekick.
Before I turned off the news to post this blog, I heard this quote from Trump:
“We’re going to win so much, you’re going to get tired of winning . . . You’re going to say, ‘Please, Mr. President. I have a headache. Please, don’t win so much. This is getting terrible.’ And I’m going to say, ‘No, we have to make America great again.’ ”
On that note, I screamed bloody murder and asked my husband if he had the heart to pick up and move again so that we could retire to a land where Trump was not the nightmare President I know he will become if given half the chance. My husband asked me if I had any prospects in mind, and I told him I had just seen an ad on the Internet from a travel bureau in Canada. . . can you say, “Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, here we come!”
Cape Breton, Nova Scotia
QUOTES: WHAT IT MEANS TO BE A “TRUE” CHRISTIAN
“A Christian reveals true humility by showing the gentleness of Christ, by being always ready to help others, by speaking kind words and performing unselfish acts, which elevate and ennoble the most sacred message that has come to our world.”—Ellen G. White
“I feel like if I live the Christian life, then the people should be able to see it in my everyday actions.”—Quinton Aaron
“The point is that there is tremendous hypocrisy among the Christian right. And I think that Christian voters should start looking at global warming and extreme poverty as a religious issue that speaks to the culture of life.”—Al Franken
“I’m working at trying to be a Christian, and that’s serious business. It’s like trying to be a good Jew, a good Muslim, a good Buddhist, a good Shintoist, a good Zoroastrian, a good friend, a good lover, a good mother, a good buddy – it’s serious business.”—Maya Angelou
“A Muslim fanatic and a Christian fanatic, a Jewish fanatic, a secular fanatic, an atheist fanatic, a communist fanatic – all of them are the same. The thinking that, ‘If you don’t think like me, that if you are not with me, then you are against me;’ this is something to condemn.”—Marjane Satrapi
“I think there ought to be a strict separation or wall built between our religious faith and our practice of political authority in office. I don’t think the President of the United States should extoll Christianity if he happens to be a Christian at the expense of Judaism, Islam or other faiths.”—Jimmy Carter
ALL QUOTES FROM http://www.brainyquotes.com
WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR? Check out www.eleanortomczyk.com
WANT TO READ THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOKS? Monsters’ Throwdown and Fleeing Oz are both on sale at Amazon (hardcopy and Kindle).
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.