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IT’S TIME TO GROW A PAIR!

Do you know what I discovered last night following the second debate?  I can’t stop vomiting, and I am at a loss for words. The “hate theater,” a term coined by Margaret Sullivan for the parade of women from Bill Clinton’s past whom Donald Trump sprang on the Presidential debate, made me sick to my stomach.  (Apparently, Trump and team had planned to put the women in the VIP box so that Bill Clinton would have to bump into them to get to his VIP seat, and so that they would be directly in Hillary’s sightline so as to unnerve her and cause her to lose the debate.  The dastardly deed was discovered, and the plan was thwarted.)  It was wrong and it was a new low in our Presidential politics.  Besides, it was Trump’s way of trying to cover up his own egregious sins.  Normally, I would try to come up with something humorous or pithy about the week, but children, I’ve got nothing because I think I just watched our republic die Sunday night, aided and abetted by the Religious Right—especially the men over fifty years old.**

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CARTOON USED BY PERMISSION: Dave Granlund, Politicalcartoons.com

That’s right, my Delightful Readers, according to the latest Washington Post-ABC News poll, 71 percent of white evangelical voters said they would vote for Trump if the election were held today even though he’s a racist, a xenophobe, a mocker of the disabled, a tax evader, and an adulterer, and now he seems to think its cool TO ASSAULT WOMEN.  We’ve all heard the infamous open-mic chatter of Donald Trump’s workplace vulgarity (he claims it was locker room humor, but he was at work, getting ready to tape a show), but it bears repeating for the sake of removing the scales of deception from the eyes of those who refuse to see:

ACCESS HOLLYWOOD’S TAPE OF TRUMP’S “HONORING. RESPECTFUL WORDS” ABOUT WOMEN MADE RIGHT ABOUT THE TIME HE MARRIED HIS THIRD WIFE (POOR MELANIA, SHE MUST FEEL SO GREAT ABOUT HER MARRIAGE RIGHT ABOUT NOW)

“I moved on her, and I failed. I’ll admit it,”

“I did try and fuck her. She was married,” Trump says.

“And I moved on her very heavily. In fact, I took her out furniture shopping. She wanted to get some furniture. I said, ‘I’ll show you where they have some nice furniture.’”

“I moved on her like a bitch, but I couldn’t get there. And she was married. Then all of a sudden I see her, she’s now got the big phony tits and everything. She’s totally changed her look.”

(AS TRUMP AND SIDE KICK, BILLY BUSH [CAN YOU BELIEVE HE IS A BUSH RELATIVE?] APPROACH AN UNSUSPECTING WOMAN GREETER, THE MAN WHO WISHES TO BE OUR NEXT PRESIDENT CONTINUES…)

“I’ve got to use some Tic Tacs, just in case I start kissing her.  You know I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait.”

“And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.”

“Grab them by the pussy,” Trump says. “You can do anything.”

 trump-video-bob-englehart-caglecartoons-com

CARTOON USED BY PERMISSION: Bob Englehart, CagleCartoons.com

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PAT ROBERTSON (head of The Christian Broadcasting Network) to Donald Trump:  You inspire us all.”

  JERRY, FALWELL, JR. (President of the nation’s largest Christian university and one of the first Christian leaders to support Donald Trump):  “In my opinion, Donald Trump lives a life of loving and helping others as Jesus taught in the great commandment.”

JAMES DOBSON (Christian psychologist and founder of Focus on the Family) about Donald Trump: “I am endorsing Donald J. … I am also very enthusiastic by the selection of Gov. Mike Pence as Mr. Trump’s running mate. Together, I believe they will make America great again.”

RALPH REED (Head of Faith & Freedom Coalition) regarding Donald Trump’s “pussy grab”: “People of faith are voting on issues like who will protect unborn life, defund Planned Parenthood, defend religious liberty and oppose the Iran nuclear deal.  A ten-year-old tape of a private conversation with a talk show host ranks low on their hierarchy of concerns.”

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CARTOON USED BY PERMISSION: John Cole, The Scranton Times Tribune

WAIT, WHAT?  THIS JUST IN?  HOT OFF THE PRESSES! Christian women, especially those who have survived sexual abuse and women under forty years old, are beginning to peel away from The Donald, led by none other than the female American evangelist, Beth Moore (author and founder of Living Proof Ministries):

“I’m one among many women sexually abused, misused, stared down, heckled, talked naughty to. Like we liked it. We didn’t. We’re tired of it,” Moore said. She also had a word about evangelical leaders still supporting Trump: “Try to absorb how acceptable the disesteem and objectifying of women has been when some Christian leaders don’t think it’s that big a deal.”—Joshua Dubois/The Daily Beast (see full article listed under references—it is worth the read)*

All righty, now!  Okay, Christian men who are voting for Trump and are supporting him, no matter what.  You men who have wives, daughters, sisters, and mothers:  where are your fucking balls?  You better find them, because if the Donald has his way, he’s coming for their “pussies,” unless they aren’t a “10” in his eyes, then he’ll just insult them by calling them “slobs, dogs, and ugly, fat pigs.”  Rise up, oh men of God, and do the right thing!

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CARTOON USED BY PERMISSION: John Darkow, Columbia Daily Tribune Missouri

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ELEANOR’S “SELAH” (AHA MOMENT)

I am discovering “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God,” but when a person truly repents of their sins, which one of us who live in glass houses has a right to throw past sins in the face of the x-sinner’s spouse just to score political points or to try and win a debate?  I’ll let you decide, Dear Reader, which one of these men is someone who might be the better person in spite of his egregious past choices. 

BILL CLINTON’S PUBLIC REPENTENCE 18 YEARS AGO:  “I don’t think there’s a fancy way to say that I have sinned. It is important to me that everyone who has been hurt know that the sorrow I feel is genuine — first and most important, my family, my friends, my staff, my cabinet, Monica Lewinsky and her family, and the American people. I have asked all for their forgiveness.

“To be forgiven, more than sorrow is required, at least two more things.  First, genuine repentance, a determination to change and to repair breaches of my own making. I have repented.

“Second, what my Bible calls a broken spirit, an understanding that I must have God’s help to be the person that I want to be, a willingness to give the very forgiveness I seek, a renunciation of the pride and the anger which cloud judgment, lead people to excuse and compare and to blame and complain.”

DONALD TRUMP’S IDEA OF REPENTENCE TODAY: “Why do I have to repent, why do I have to ask for forgiveness if [I’m] not making mistakes?” [And since The Donald never admits he’s wrong, he never has to ask forgiveness.]

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CARTOON USED BY PERMISSION: Taylor Jones, Politicalcartoons.com

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THOUGHT-PROVOKING QUOTES

“Character is what you do when nobody’s looking. And this video captures Trump in the middle of day, sober, a few months after being married, talking with a man he barely knows, bragging about sexual assault, while wearing a microphone.   This is, apparently, the real Donald Trump …”John Avlon/Daily Beast

 “Trump-loving evangelical leaders should either apologize to Bill Clinton or admit, after all these years, that they, too, have a character issue.”Jonathan Merritt

“Donald Trump knows he won’t be president. He’s now in full carnival-barking, network-launching, party-nuking mode — a scowling, pouting menace who threatened during a nationally televised debate to throw Hillary Clinton in jail and called her husband the most sexually abusive man in political history.”—REVIEW OF THE SECOND DEBATE/Ron Fournier, writer for The Atlantic

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WINNER OF DEBATE:  CNN POLL=57% (Hillary)-34% (The Donald)

CARTOON USED BY PERMISSION: Marian Kemensky, Slovakia

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WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR?  Check out www.eleanortomczyk.com

WANT TO READ THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOKS?  Monsters’ Throwdown and Fleeing Oz are both on sale at Amazon (Paperback and Kindle).

***

REFERENCES

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/10/10/beth-moore-the-christian-women-speaking-out-about-trump-s-bad-news.html  *

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2016/10/08/this-is-the-last-spastic-breath-from-the-religious-right-before-its-overdue-death/?tid=hybrid_experimentrandom_1_na **

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/second-presidential-debate-takes-the-low-road-as-attacks-and-slurs-dominate/2016/10/10/e350484a-8e9f-11e6-9c52-0b10449e33c4_story.html?hpid=hp_rhp-banner-main_campaign-banner%3Ahomepage%2Fstory

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/08/evangelical-christians-trump-bill-clinton-apology/495224/

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
13 Comments

Posted by on October 10, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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A CONVERSATION WITH A DOG ABOUT A DOG

Do you know what I discovered this week?   Not only do all dogs go to heaven, but they can talk, too (at least I think they can or I may be hearing things).  Not only do all dogs go to heaven but they are watching us (I mean, they just might be or I may be paranoid).  How do I know this?  I think I got a 911 message from my grand-dog, Wednesday Addams—a shorkie (cross between a Yorkshire Terrier and a Shih Tzu) who is 11 years old (77 in human years)—who said she needed to talk to me ASAP about the poopy stuff that’s been going down in the country before she bites the dust, which apparently she almost did.  Said she’d watched the debate between Hillary and Trump and wanted to weigh in with the animal perspective.  I mean I think my grand-dog said that, but it might have been all the booze I drank to dull the terror I felt every time that delusional, sexist, racist, Putin-ass-kissing, non-taxpaying liar who wants to move into 1600 Pennsylvania Ave and declare himself “King of the World!” opened his mouth at the debate the other night.

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Cartoon used by permission: David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star

I’m sure the copious alcohol, the stress from imagining delusional people believing all the lies of a delusional presidential candidate, mixed with the dog food commercial I saw right before I fell asleep must have had something to do with the fact that I had a political conversation with a dog.   In any case, it was very informative.  In my dream, Wednesday Addams sent me a selfie that she turned into a meme with a 911 message that said:  “Saw the debate:  What the fuck?!  Call me, Mema.  We need to talk—now!”

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Grand-dog, Wednesday Addams/Photo Credit: C. Tomczyk/Photo dedicated to J. Alsop

ME: Oh, my God, Wednesday—you poor baby—what happened to you?  Where was this selfie taken?

WEDNESDAY:  Hey Mema.  At the doggy emergency room.  Doc said I’m a “victim of Trump-induced hysteria.”  Apparently, there is a lot of it going around amongst humans, but this is the first case he’s seen in the animal kingdom.

ME:  Wow, but it looks as if you’re really messed up, Baby.  What happened to your foot?  What’s that crap on your head?

WEDNESDAY:  Well, what had happened was, I was watchin’ the debates and every time Trump told a lie or didn’t own up to his racist shit I shook my head back and forth in denial like a crazed Muppet and kicked the TV stand because I couldn’t believe there would be people delusional enough to believe him.

ME:  Well, Sweetie, if the debates disturbed you that much, why didn’t you just turn them off?

WEDNESDAY:  I did.  I had my mommy turn on “Empire” that I’d saved on the DVR (you know that’s my favorite Black people show, that and “Scandal”), but in the first five minutes, Boo-Boo-Kitty killed Rhonda!  I almost had a heart attack.  So I kicked the TV stand again!  I was so pissed that I had your daughter turn off “Empire” and read me the latest People magazine.  You know what your daughter had the nerve to tell me?  She said that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie were breaking up.  WTF?  How will I go on now?  Is this the end of true love?

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Cartoon used by permission: Marian Kemensky, Slovakia

ME:  Let me guess:  you kicked the TV stand again in anger?

WEDNESDAY:  No, this time I kicked my Mommy, and I said:  “Bitch, you better check yourself—don’t you be hatin’ on my Brangelina sweeties!”

ME:  Oh sweet Jesus!  Let me guess, I’m thinking that didn’t go over very well?  Is that why your neck’s in a giant ice cream cone?  Did she try to wring it?

WEDNESDAY:  No . . . My mommy would never hurt me.  She just grounded me for life, that’s all.  The vet put this shit on my head to keep me from pulling off this nasty-ass boot because my toe is all busted up.  I hate this thing—it is ugly as hell.  Doesn’t match any of my outfits.

ME:  Well, cheer up, My Love. Since you’re almost 77 years old in human years, you won’t be grounded that long ‘cause your ass will be singing with Jesus before too much longer.

WEDNESDAY:  Ahhhh—now why you wanna go say something like that?

ME:  Just kiddin’—just a little gallows humor to cheer you up.  Besides, you needn’t be so dramatic about all this.  As for the storyline in “Empire,” you knew from the cliff hanger from last season that it was either going to be Boo-Boo-Kitty who bit the dust or Rhonda, and since Boo-Boo-Kitty was pregnant with a Lion heir, Rhonda had to go.  You should have seen the handwriting on the wall with Brad and Angelina because she stole him from Jennifer Aniston when Brad was married to her.  Baby, karma is a bitch.  Karma may not get back at you immediately, but it will pay you back inevitably.  Now as to Trump, well, Wednesday Addams, you need not worry because Hillary kicked his ass down into Hell and back again.  My favorite moment in the debate was when he continued his two-week long rag on her that she lacked stamina as he appeared to slump into the podium, sniffle like a snot-nosed kid, and constantly drink water—all the while looking like a stuck pig.  In the meantime, our girl Hillary outpaced him a hundred to one and stood cool, calm, and collected.  Yeah Baby, talk about karma.

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Cartoon used by permission: David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star

WEDNESDAY:  That’s what Mommy said, but I’ve been hearing on the news today that people are still going to vote for him.  What is wrong with those people?  What if The Donald does get elected?  From the way he feels about women (calling them “pigs, slobs, and dogs”), the way he tortured the President with racist Birther lies which he still won’t say he’s sorry for, I can’t imagine how he must feel about “moi” if he has so little regard for humans.  And the worst part is what he did to Alicia Machado, the former Miss Universe that he called “Miss Piggy” because she gained a few pounds—humiliated her, he did.  Fat Donnie even called Ms. Machado “Miss Housekeeping.”  She is a Latina for God’s sake!  Even I know that is a racist thing to say—like calling me a son of a bitch because the stereotype is that dog’s have no parents.  I had two parents, thank you very much!! How many feet do I have to bust up before someone takes note that I’m mad as hell, and I’m not gonna take it anymore!

ME:  Well, I can tell that someone’s been watching the movie “Network” during her convalescence.   Listen Dog, Trump is delusional if he thinks he’s got the goods to be the President of our great nation.  He proved during the first debate with Hillary he does not.  And even though his staunch basket of deplorables will never leave him (even Hitler had his loyal basket), others saw “an emperor” at the debate “without any clothes” who seemingly boasted that not paying his taxes was smart business, and that he rooted for the housing market crash in 2012 so that he could make money because that was good for his bottom line.  Enough good people heard him to make a difference.  People who work hard every day and have always paid their taxes were horrified, people who lost their homes during the housing crash were disgusted and angry, and women who know how they should be treated and valued were mortified, and it goes without saying that most women would rather die than let a misogynistic, racist, greedy Trumpee be our President and a role model for our children.  These people may not like Hillary, but they are smart enough to realize that Trump will be the beginning of an awful end.   In the meantime, doggy-o-mine, stop kicking the furniture and go tell your mommy and her friends to vote for Hillary!

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Cartoon used by permission: Pat Bagley, Salt Lake Tribune

ELEANOR’S “SELAH” (“AHA”) MOMENT

I am discovering that I am not as confident as I make myself out to be when I’m chatting with my grand-dog in my dreams.   I must confess that it causes me a great deal of concern that we, as Americans, seem to be so delusional as a people (“a persistent false psychotic belief regarding the self or persons or objects outside the self that is maintained despite indisputable evidence to the contrary” according to Webster’s) that Trump is within striking distance of Hillary in the race for the White House.

At the writing of this post, it is 41 days, 3 hours, 40 minutes, and 5 seconds until Election Day, and we stand at a critical point in American history.  ATTENTION ALL WHO HAVE EARS TO HEARThis is not a drill.  This is real life.  Donald Trump showed himself to be an ignorant, petulant bully who cannot control his tweet finger.   I’m sure that most of the Germans who voted for Hitler were very, very sorry as they stood on the rubble of the scorched Earth at the end of WWII, but it was too little, too late.  Not voting is not an option in 41 days.  (Also, IMHO using your vote as a “protest vote” is cute in an alternate universe, but could get skanky pants elected by robbing the legitimate, qualified candidate of the necessary votes and leave you sobbing in your cups like the Brexit voters did a few months ago.)

In the meantime, I’m going to go now and find a good therapist, because the stress of wondering what the outcome really will be with all the delusion that is fogging the air is driving me to drink.

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Cartoon used by permission: Mike Keefe Cagle Cartoons

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INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES ABOUT DELUSION

“Victims of Trump-induced anxiety describe nightmares, insomnia, digestive problems, and headaches. Therapists find themselves helping their patients through a process that feels less like an election than a national nervous breakdown.”—Michelle Goldberg/Slate (What women really think about news, politics, and culture)

“There’s always an element of self-delusion among people who believe they ought to be President. There’s an underestimation of your opponent and an overestimation of your own abilities. This is compatible with being rich and powerful, the idea that we were blessed by God because we deserve to be blessed.”—Jimmy Carter

 “If the first presidential debate between Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton revealed anything, it is that she has passed the presidential test — and he hasn’t. Clinton was calm and in command. With a smile on her face, she made the case against Trump on all the hot-button issues: his refusal to reveal his taxes, his advocacy of birtherism, his racism, his sexism and many others. She showed mastery of her brief.”—Max Boot, USA Today, Trump Showed He’s No Commander in Chief

trumps-brain-marian-kemensky-slovakia

Cartoon used by permission: Marian Kemensky, Slovakia

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WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR?  Check out www.eleanortomczyk.com

WANT TO READ THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOKS?  Monsters’ Throwdown and Fleeing Oz are both on sale at Amazon (Paperback and Kindle).

***

REFERENCES

http://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/2016/09/27/trump-clinton-debate-nuclear-codes-commander-in-chief-max-boot/91167896/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/a-lean-toward-clinton-among-one-group-of-undecided-north-carolina-voters/2016/09/27/ff271b2e-8469-11e6-92c2-14b64f3d453f_story.html?hpid=hp_rhp-top-table-main_voters-120pm%3Ahomepage%2Fstory

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/09/27/opinion/campaign-stops/the-lies-trump-told.html?action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=span-abc-region&region=span-abc-region&WT.nav=span-abc-region&_r=0

http://www.rawstory.com/2016/09/this-devastating-video-reveals-how-undecided-voters-reacted-to-trumps-dismal-debate-performance/

http://www.salon.com/2016/09/27/i-say-nothing-trump-refuses-to-apologize-to-african-americans-and-president-obama-for-his-birtherism-during-first-debate/

http://www.salon.com/2016/09/27/donald-trumps-miss-piggy-problem-why-his-criticism-of-alicia-machados-weight-matters/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/clinton-shifts-the-election-in-her-direction/2016/09/27/c0b84950-845d-11e6-a3ef-f35afb41797f_story.html?hpid=hp_no-name_opinion-card-c%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.2683a7f1ef8f

http://www.slate.com/articles/double_x/doublex/2016/09/trump_induced_anxiety_is_a_real_thing.html

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
5 Comments

Posted by on September 28, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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