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MEET THE DOTARDS

Do you know what I discovered this week with great amusement?  Most of our news anchors had never heard of the word “dotard” when Kim Jong Un rocketed the word as an insult against Trump.  What was even worse is that most of them couldn’t even pronounce it.

I was screaming at the TV every time Joe Scarborough bastardized the word on Morning Joe.  Even this poor Black child, born in the ghetto, knew what “dotard” meant and how to pronounce it, but I guess that’s what happens when one has read Chaucer, Shakespeare, Agatha Christie, and J.R.R. Tolkien. (Thanks Cleveland School System; maybe you weren’t so awful after all.)

Dotard 1 Dave Granlund Politicalcartoons com

Cartoon used by permission: Dave Granlund, Politicalcartoons.com

By the way, in case you haven’t been brought up to speed regarding Kim Jong Un’s vocabulary lesson to the English-speaking world (albeit, outdated English):

MEANING OF DOTARD ACCORDING TO MERRIAM-WEBSTER:  “a person in his or her dotage,” which is “a state or period of senile decay marked by decline of mental poise and alertness.”

PRONUNCIATION OF DOTARD: dō-tərd (as in DOE-turd)

Since the word has gone viral (#dotard), I thought I’d look around for some examples to add to the online chatter about this hilarious choice of wording from one crazy-ass dictator to his wannabe counterpart.

I didn’t have too far to look.

I have retired to a town that is a haven for retirees.  It is a lovely town—extremely bucolic—with a world-class university, lots of educational and social opportunities, wonderful restaurants, and easy access to major metropolitan areas to partake in wonderful theater and museum events.  But for all its positive aspects, I have found a place where the dotards go to hang out.  It is the back page of the local newspaper (the only part of the local paper that I read because the rest is too boring for words), and they use it as if it were a communal Twitter and/or Facebook page.  One can call, fax, or email the editor of this newspaper and all the dotards are allowed to remain anonymous, which I think emboldens them.  Each message has its own stand-alone title.  I thought I’d feature a few of the more dotard-like examples to show my readers that dotards are alive and well—probably someone in your family, even—or at least a Trump voter who is mad as hell at everything and everybody.  I daresay, if any one of these dotards had access to a nuclear bomb, my lovely retirement town would have gone up in smoke a long time ago.

old man yells at cloud

GET OFF MY LAWN BACK PAGE

(From the Retirement Mecca Gazette)

Name of newspaper and its back page have been changed to protect me from becoming one of the local dotard’s anonymous attacks

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WHEELIE TERRORS

Well, I see another day that the roads are all screwed up…for a damn bicycle race.  It never ceases to amaze me how something that pays no taxes to use the road can screw it up for people who do pay taxes.  I can’t even go to the grocery store without encountering a two-wheeler.  If God wanted us to ride bicycles, he wouldn’t have given us cars.   Down with bicycles, I say!  Up with tax-payin’ diesel mobiles!

DAMN YOU RAIN GET OFF MY LAWN

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YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE

Read your article about car thefts on the rise.  Couldn’t help but notice that many of the cars stolen didn’t have their doors locked.  If you leave your car doors unlocked, what do you expect to happen?  There is a fool born every minute is all I have to say. 

YOUNG WHIPPER-SNAPPER

To the young woman who passed me on the road the other day, I couldn’t help but notice that you had two little kids in the back seat observing you breaking the law.  Now it is true that I was traveling below the speed limit (when I make a mistake, I own it), but that was no reason for you to pass me and give me what looked like “the finger” (although, I’m not quite sure it was your finger because I didn’t have on my glasses which is why I was driving so slow).  Do you hug your mother with that hand?  Shame on you…and to think your children saw you do that.  You owe me an apology, young lady!

RAZZLE-DAZZLE

Orange is my favorite color, but not on accent panels on the design of buildings for the rebuilt/redesigned shopping center, let alone red and yellow, too.  Why not some blues and greens?  Planning commission wants “edgy.”  What’s next?  Digital signs on our main road?  Who bamboozled the city planners into this?  I bet you it was that pesky Obama.  He’s out of the White House (thank God!), but still causing problems…roaming to and fro seeking whom he can devour with his foreign communist ways.  I heard on Fox News that he pops up all over the place, and the next thing you know, Confederate statues are being removed and towns are tryin’ to go all “edgy” in their color schemes.  He’d be the one to push red and yellow colors on our historical town just to get back at President Trump.  I’ll be keeping a close eye on this—you bet your sweet biffy.

Grumpy Old Woman

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DREAMERS

Last week, the Retirement Mecca Gazette ran an article that stated 23 college students at our very fine upstanding university are part of the 800,000 protected by the executive order President Obama signed in 2010. These so-called “dreamers” were given short-term protection…What’s puzzling to me is that 23 legal citizens were denied entry into the college because our state college chose illegals over my granddaughter.  Are illegal immigrants a protected minority class in the USA?  If so, are they more protected than struggling Black families?

DREAMERS CONTINUED

I’ve got one thing to say to the so-called “dreamers”:  Get out of my country.  Go back to Africa with the man who brung you—your savior, Barack Hussein Obama!  Worst president ever!  Good thing President Trump is going to make America great again and kick you out.  President Trump—best president ever!

DACA John Cole The Scranton Times Tribune

Cartoon used by permission: John Cole, The Scranton Times Tribune

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ELEANOR’S SELAH (“AHA” MOMENT) REGARDING THE WORD “DOTARD”

I am discovering that dotards are everywhere, because being a dotard is a state of mind.  They are in our families, our churches, our communities, and our government.   A dotard is anyone who is afraid of change, intransigent in thought, and hard of heart when it comes to his or her fellowman.  Dotards have to be right even when the entire world knows they are wrong because to admit they are incorrect would involve a streak of humility that no dotard possesses.  All dotards fear things getting out of control (people moving too fast, ideas changing too quickly, the status quo vanishing before their eyes).  The most recent dotards have popped up on the Right-Wing Christian horizon proclaiming that the Rapture will start on Saturday, September 23rd because God is judging America for its wicked ways.  That’s the day when God will “snatch” all the Christians (all dotards) up to heaven and leave the rest of us sinners on Earth to be tormented by the likes of Kim Jong Un, the winds, the rains, and the earthquakes until Jesus comes back and sends us all to Hell.

They haven’t mentioned whether Trump will be one of the snatched.

Personally, I’ll take my chances with God as to the state of my soul, but I sure would like to see all the Christian dotards (and Trump) vanish on September 23rd.  I need some peace.

End is Nigh Rick McKee The Augusta Chronicle

Cartoon used by permission: Rick McKee, The Augusta Chronicle

Dotard Trump

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ADDITIONAL READING

http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/22/asia/north-korea-dotard/index.html

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2017/09/21/a-short-history-of-the-word-dotard-which-north-korea-called-trump/?nid

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/21/world/asia/kim-trump-rocketman-dotard.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=first-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/the-world-is-going-to-end-%e2%80%94-just-probably-not-saturday/ar-AAskITR?li=BBnbfcL&ocid=UE13DHP

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
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Posted by on September 23, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Ship of Fools

Do you know what I discovered?  April fool’s Day is almost upon us and to my chagrin, the older I get the more patently aware I am of having played the fool in my youth and having almost derailed my fragile life.

Fly You Fool

“FLY, YOU FOOL—FLY!”

The word “fool” is not a popular word now—at least it isn’t as potent as it was in my youth and in the way only older Black folks could use it in the day:

  • “You old fool!” (when referencing an older person—usually a man—who never let go of his childish ways—specifically chasing after young girls or trying some foolish get-rich quick scheme)
  • “Go on fool, Hell ain’t half full yet!” (when chastising a driver with a lead foot, or a womanizer, or a ‘ho’)
  • “Damn fool!” (anybody who was held in judgment by the speaker—the speaker usually being your mother or grandmother)
  • “Shut up, fool; I ain’t talkin’ to you!” (directed toward anybody that got on the speaker’s nerves)

DEFINITION OF A FOOL ACCORDING TO TODAY’S DICTIONARY:

Noun—a person who acts unwisely or imprudently; a silly person: “what a fool I was to do this” (simpleton – dolt – tomfool – ninny – nincompoop).

Adjective—foolish or silly (foolish – daft – goofy – fatuous – idiotic – asinine)

Water Prank Motleynews dot net

Foolish Prank||image from motleynews.net

The most foolish thing I’ve ever done (that almost cost me my future and my life) was after winning a four-year scholarship out of the ghetto and a string of foster homes and orphanages to a college about 20 minutes or so from Kent State University, I let some guy I hardly knew talk me into participating in an attempted take-over of my college’s administration buildings shortly after the Kent State Massacre.  I believed the asshole when he said there would be no guns, and we’d be protesting racism on the campus and not the Viet Nam War.  Not only did we get caught (the organizer of the coup tipped the “po-po”in the hopes there would be a shoot-out), but we were almost killed by state cops already on edge from the Kent State debacle.  Most of my peeps were thrown out of school.  It was determined that since I wasn’t carrying any weapons, and my responsibilities only included providing the catering and entertainment for the revolution (God help my foolish sorry-ass!), and that I was on the Dean’s list to boot, I would not be kicked out of school, so long as I kept my nose clean and out of trouble until I graduated the following year.  The entire scenario turned out to be a loosely tagged-team scheme tied to the Kent State mayhem in order to manipulate a race war that would add to a SDS (Students for a Democratic Society) nationwide, anarchist upheaval.  I almost got killed for fried chicken, manipulated by people I didn’t know, who didn’t give two shits about me.   God, what a fool I was!

In case you are one of the few who have never been a fool but fear your time might be drawing nigh, here are a few examples of modern-day fools to help steer you clear of the fool abyss:

DENNIS RODMAN

“Rodman visited the reclusive North Korean leader (Kim Jong Un—parenthesis mine) at the end of February. At the conclusion of the trip, the basketball star spoke glowingly of Kim to members of the media. ‘I love him,’ Rodman said. ‘The guy’s really awesome.’ By Ryan Grenoble for Huff Post World

Rodman and Kim Jung Un

Dennis Rodman and North Korean leader, Kim Jong Un

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PEOPLE WHO TEXT WHILE WALKING

“While there’s little current data about the number of people injured while texting, more than 1,000 pedestrians visited emergency rooms in 2008 after they were injured while using a cellphone to talk or text. That had doubled each year since 2006, according to a study conducted by Ohio State University.”—By Casey Neistat for The New York Times

Twitter Run Over

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PEOPLE WHO TEXT WHILE DRIVING

“It took six months for Chance Bothe, 21, to recover after flipping his truck into a ravine while texting and driving. He broke nearly every bone in his body.”—By Charlie Wells for New York Daily News

Texting while driving

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NRA SPOKESMAN WAYNE LAPIERRE

“Earlier this week, Wayne LaPierre wrote a giddily batshit insane column opining that what we need around here is more guns, all the time, everywhere, because you never know when the zombie apocalypse is going to wander off the nearest bus and where will your government be then, hmm? As partial defense of his premise, he used Hurricane Sandy as an example of a situation where people really, really ought to have hauled off and shot some folks.” By Hunter for Daily Kos

Waynes world

I am discovering that you can start out your adulthood trying not to make a fool of yourself and hoping to make a difference in the world with the most heartfelt naiveté.  But then you can screw up your life by thinking you’re only going to a “sit-in” with a bucket of chicken but it’s really two steps to your potential death.  Being a fool is costly but you don’t know how costly sometimes until many years later. 

I am convinced that the foolish things we do in our teens will have consequences in our twenties, the foolish choices we make in our twenties will have us paying the cost throughout our forties, and the stupid things we do in our thirties will haunt us to our grave.  I aligned myself with doctrines and dogmas (both left and right wing) in my youth of foolishness that cause me to shutter sitting from a perch of wisdom in my old age.  This is why the young so desperately need the old as mentors on their journey of life.  Too bad the young are usually too foolish to listen.

Mr. T

“Mr. T”

“It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”Proverbs 17:28, Bible

“Every man is a damn fool for at least five minutes every day; wisdom consists in not exceeding the limit.”—Elbert Hubbard

It is the peculiar quality of a fool to perceive the faults of others and to forget his own.”—Marcus Tullius Cicero

      “Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.”—African Proverb

WHEN FOOLS COLLIDE

Rodman and LaPierre Fools End

 
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Posted by on March 24, 2013 in Uncategorized

 

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