RSS

Tag Archives: Evangelical Christians Support Trump

JESUS, GOD OF EASTER, HELP!

As you might imagine, given the events of this week, I am sitting Shiva with the rest of my liberal friends—or should I say, sitting Shiva with anybody who has a brain, a conscious, a heart, a soul, or eyes and ears.  According to Wikipedia, Shiva means “seven,” and “sitting Shiva” is described as: “the week-long mourning period in Judaism for first-degree relatives.”  In this case, my first-degree relatives are my country’s morality, constitution, and soul, and my religion’s core Truth.  I know I’m supposed to accept Barr’s assessment of the Mueller report and move on, but I just can’t.  In the words of George Conway (conservative lawyer and the husband of White House counselor Kellyanne Conway —talk about irony):

“TRUMP IS GUILTY—OF BEING UNFIT FOR OFFICE”

Cartoon used by permission: Milt Priggee, Oak Harbor, WA/Cagle Cartoons

The aftermath of Barr’s summary has been brutal against anyone who has opposed Trump—led by the mean-spirited bully Trump himself, as he takes his victory lap in the end zone.  Every time I hear him attacking someone who has uncovered his lies or stood up to his bullying, all I can do is pray that the God of Easter rescues us from this cretin—SOON.  Was it wrong to hope the Mueller Report would be an answer to that prayer of obvious corruption exposed?  And why did William Barr give us an interpretation of a potentially 300-plus page report rather than the report itself?  What is Barr hiding?  Instead, the White Right-Wing Christians who believe Trump was sent by God are hoarse from crowing Barr’s summation that God has protected their anointed one, and it makes me sick to my stomach—so sick, it sent me into intercessory prayer.  Below is my most recent prayer—prayed while sitting in sackcloth and ashes cataloged under the title: If Ever There was a God, Now is the Time to Show Up (Again).

Cartoon used by permission: Ed Wexler, PoliticalCartoons.com/Cagle Cartoons

DEAR GOD:

How are you?  The last time we spoke, I was praying for healing of a horrible respiratory disease, spring to arrive (sooner than later), and for the Mueller Report to be released, putting a stop to our current reign of terror. I’m very grateful that you completely healed my snot-generating, five-foot chubby-ass body, that spring has finally sprung revealing that not all my plants died over the winter (thank you very much), and the Mueller Report was finally released—kind of.

It looks like I needed to be a bit more specific in my prayers regarding the Mueller Report.  I don’t mean to be ungrateful, but I thought we had an understanding that the report would be released in its entirety and reveal the complete corruption of Donald J. Trump in such a way that his followers would flee in horror—especially the ones who claim to be your followers.  But instead of them repenting in sackcloth and ashes for propping up this egregious sack of sin, they are joining in his revenge victory lap claiming the Bible verse (Psalm 105:15) on Trump’s behalf:  “Don’t touch my chosen leaders or harm my prophets! “Just the other day I came across this billboard that was once posted near St. Louis, Missouri from a bunch of your Trump-loving Christian followers equating him with you, Jesus:

A billboard along route I-70 near St. Louis, Missouri in Nov. 2018

(OPEN LETTER TO GOD, CONT.)

I don’t know how I missed this billboard when it first appeared, but my God, doesn’t this just burn your cookies?  Seems as if that alone would cause you to make a personal appearance just to set the record straight.  Now, how does the Bible verse John 1:14 read again? 

“The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.

(The billboard was removed in 2018, but only after a great deal of hysteria from your “sane” peeps who rallied to confront this blasphemous stupidity.)

Insane, right?!

Cartoon used by permission: Pat Bagley, The Salt Lake Tribune, UT/Cagle Cartoons

(OPEN LETTER TO GOD, CONT.)

With all due respect, knowing what you must know, what’s up with letting Trump slide by on the Mueller Report and practically getting away with murder?  You of all deities know that he’s guilty.  He’s like a giant toddler, and he won’t stop until he’s caught red-handed. He needs a giant ass-kicking by you since I am now convinced that Trump was right—he could shoot someone on 5th Avenue and not lose his supporters—especially his Christian supporters because they believe you sent Trump to save America.

Not that I need to give you any parenting advice, but do you recall the “Great Toddler Candy Heist of 87” that was perpetrated by one of my children (no need to name names—you know who Baby-girl is)?  Bear with me here.

As you recall, in the beginning, I tried to raise my children in a sugar-free environment. However, one of my kids came to Earth dreaming of lollipops. If upon her arrival the Devil had presented himself to her and said, “I’ll give you all the candy in the world in exchange for your soul, your sister’s soul, and both your parents’ souls,” she would have said, “In a hot baby-poop minute—where do I stamp my baby paw print?”   My child had ways of getting candy that I knew not of.  All I know is that the minute I turned my back on her (with the specific instructions: “Don’t give this child any candy!”) and returned to pick her up from babysitters, Sunday school providers, mother-in-law, or friends’ homes, I’d find candy wrappers stuffed in her diapers and witness the vestiges of a tummy ache all over my new blouses when I snuggled with her.  But no one could ever catch her actually procuring and eating the sweets.  No matter how many times I asked her if she’d eaten candy and where she’d gotten it from, she’d look me straight in the eyes and lie through her cute little four-year-old baby teeth.  (I think I might have even tossed out a prayer or two to you to help me catch that little barbarian in her lies at one time or another.)

Internet Meme

One day, I think you answered my prayers.  I took said candy thief and her sister with me to a very brief business meeting. I noticed as we passed by a table in the lobby by the receptionist’s desk that a rather large bowl of grape Jolly Ranchers was prominently displayed on our way to the elevators.  Both girls asked if they could have some, but I told them “no,” because I was afraid it would spoil their lunch.

After the meeting was over, I strapped the kids into their respective car seats and proceeded back home for lunch.  About five minutes into the drive, I smelled a pungent grapey odor coming from the back seat.  In fact, the odor was overwhelming, as if someone had flooded the car with Welch’s Grape Juice. It was apparent that one of the kids had stolen candy from the office candy dish.  As I whipped my head around like a cobra to seek out the culprit, I demanded to know who was sucking on a Jolly Rancher. My older daughter said, “Not I, said the cat.” When I turned to Baby-girl, she violently shook her head in denial but refused to open her mouth.  Had I not pulled over to the side of the road, I would not have caught her in the act.  But as I stopped the car and looked into the back seat at my girls, streams of purple ooze poured out of Baby-girl’s mouth.  Apparently, she had stolen as many Jolly Ranchers as her little fat fingers could handle and squirrelled them away in her jumpsuit pockets.  My toddler thief had stuffed not one, not two, not three, but at least four grape Jolly Ranchers into her tiny toddler mouth which couldn’t contain the saliva overflow. Caught dead to rights, even as I asked Baby-girl if she had Jolly Ranchers in her mouth, she continued to shake her head in fierce denial while purple saliva stormed from both sides of her mouth as if she were an overheated Saint Bernard and consequently slimed both her sister and me in purple ooze.

Lord, the point of this story is that I nipped that little rascal’s lyin’ and stealin’ in the bud by catching her in the act, and today she is a fine upstanding citizen. I thought you were probably proud of me for that bit of parenting stealth, if the truth be known.So here’s the word: you created Donald Trump.  Essentially, you’re his first parent.  I don’t mean to be impertinent, but why didn’t you let the Mueller Report expose him in all his ill-gotten slime?  Instead, he has gotten away with his crimes (again!) and has become an even bigger jerk than ever—claiming to be a martyr on the level of messiahhood, creating a revenge list, and tormenting the sick, the poor, and anybody that crosses him.


Cartoon used by permission: Milt Priggee, Oak Harbor, WA/Cagle Cartoons

(OPEN LETTER TO GOD, CONT.)

Lord Jesus, I know you know everything none of us know and in due time, all will be revealed, and we’ll all know the truth whether we want to accept it or not. It’s just that William Barr’s assessment was not the truth.  It may have “technically” helped Trump escape collusion, but he’s got the stain of being a horrible human being in every fiber of his being and he’s sliming us all with his purple-tainted sins of lying and corruption.   

Anyway, see you on Easter.  I could use some hope and proof that you’re in control of this mess. Just sayin’. In the meantime, I’ll keep praying (like a mantra) in the words of Leslie Jones’ recent universal tweet:  #LORDHELPUSPLEASE


Cartoon used by permission: David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star Tucson, AZ/Cagle Cartoons

***

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR?  Check out her website at www.eleanortomczyk.com

THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOKS:  Monsters’ Throwdown, Fleeing Oz, The Fetus Chronicles on sale now at Amazon!

***

REFERENCE

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2019/03/27/michael-avenattis-downfall-would-be-great-thing-democrats/?utm_term=.b45c5010c518

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/george-conway-trump-is-guilty–of-being-unfit-for-office/2019/03/26/0b5f851e-4ffd-11e9-88a1-ed346f0ec94f_story.html?utm_term=.b59e095fe99e

https://www.cnn.com/2019/03/27/politics/cnn-poll-mueller-reaction-exoneration/index.html

https://www.riverfronttimes.com/newsblog/2018/11/05/we-fixed-that-appalling-trump-billboard-just-outside-st-louis-for-you

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
10 Comments

Posted by on March 29, 2019 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

I’M A #NASTYWOMAN

Do you know what I discovered watching the debate last night?  I am part of a new club:  The Nasty Women’s Club!  Just call me “Nasty”—Ms. Eleanor “if you’re nasty,” as I channel my inner Janet Jackson.

fireman-trump-milt-priggee-www-miltpriggee-com

Cartoon used by permission: Milt Priggee, http://www.miltpriggee.com

I was dreading the third debate, but by the end of it, I was popping the champagne cork.  There were at least four statements The Donald made that pretty much let me know that he was going to be toast regarding winning the presidency:

“What I am saying is that I will tell you at the time.  I will keep you in suspense” (When asked by the moderator of 3rd debate if Trump would honor election results if he didn’t win—this is not how we do it in America, maybe in Russia, but not in America).

“Should have gotten it” (Trump’s petulant response to Hillary Clinton’s well-crafted trap that The Donald thinks everything is rigged when he loses, including the Emmys—“The Apprentice” lost out to “The Amazing Race” that year).

“Such a nasty woman” (Trump’s euphemism for ‘bitch’).

“Nobody has more respect for women than me” (as 10th woman accuser comes out against Trump and the debate audience bursts into laughter).

trump-and-the-grope-john-cole-the-scranton-times-tribune

Cartoon used by permission: John Cole, The Scranton Times Tribune

For those of my readers who have followed me for a long time, you know that I have been near suicidal that many Evangelical Christians (of which I am one) have thrown their political weight behind Donald Trump, regardless of what he stands for and what he believes.  And here’s the deal:  Trump can’t win with just the percentage of angry White men who support him, but he could win if all of the conservative Evangelical Christians vote for him.  This has kept me awake at night and caused me great weeping and gnashing of teeth at how people who should know better are not doing what Jesus would do but are selling their souls to the Devil faster than you can say, “Such a nasty woman.”

evangelical-trumper-steve-sack-the-minneapolis-star-tribune

Cartoon used by permission: Steve Sack, The Minneapolis, Star Tribune

But something has begun to happen.  My prayers are being heard (thank you, Sweet Jesus).  A group of Liberty University students (one of the strictest Christian Universities in America where the Chancellor is one of Trump’s strongest and earliest supporters) have collected 2,500 signatures against Trump:  “Liberty United against Trump.” But what’s even more exhilarating is that over 700 Evangelical Christian women leaders have come out against Trump and the Christian men who support him.  They signed a letter organized by Faith in Public Life.  They’ve joined the “Nasty Woman” club (any woman who calls out a man for his lies or egregious behavior is often labeled “nasty” [a.k.a. “bitch”] by men who can’t control them—especially if they do so without apology—therefore I dub these courageous woman part of the Nasty Women Club).

“As a Christian:  Over and over and over again, I have witnessed a cycle of male leaders being easily forgiven for sexual indiscretion, misconduct, and assault, and I have had enough. Men are caught, men say they apologize, and then other Christian leaders exhort the rest of us, especially women, to forgive and continue to trust the man in power because he apologized. I’m done with this message. The Christian message of forgiveness should no longer be co-opted to maintain men in places of power, especially not the office of the President of the United States. It is time that Christians begin speaking about the humanity and dignity of women, and of everyone. Christians are not here to teach the violated to forgive; we are here to stand with the downtrodden. That is what Jesus did.”

– Dr. Laura Levens, Assistant Professor of Christian Mission, Baptist Seminary of Kentucky [1]

trump-crotch-grab-john-cole-the-scranton-times-tribune

Cartoon used by permission: John Cole, The Scranton Times Tribune

***

“We cannot stand by and allow the Jerry Falwells and James Dobsons of the world claim to speak for God regarding Trump and sexism … When this election is over — and Hillary Clinton is the nation’s first female president, I hope that we will finally get beyond the idea of ‘Christian women leaders’ being some special subset of Christian community.  Women are the majority of Christians around the world — we are the heartbeat of living faith.  The media spends too much time covering male leaders — and then a small subset of authoritarian conservative men — as if they are the voice of the church.  They are not.  Women are.  All the women. . .”

Diana Butler Bass, Author and Historian

devil-trump-pat-bagley-salt-lake-tribune

Cartoon used by permission: Pat Bagley, Salt Lake Tribune

***

“I am an African American, a Christian woman, a clergy person, I have a passionate vision for a world free of bias, discrimination, and hatred. I sign my name in honor of the God who called me into ministry, and in honor of my mentor, a Palestinian Jewish Rabbi we have come to call Jesus. I sign my name because men AND women are created in God’s image, and all human beings are fearfully and wonderfully made. I sign my name to insist on just treatment for every person. My faith demands it. And our nation requires it.”

The Rev. Jacqueline J. Lewis, Ph.D., Senior Minister, Middle Collegiate Church

melanias-man-steve-sack-the-minneapolis-star-tribune

Cartoon used by permission: Steve Sack, The Minneapolis, Star Tribune

***

“It seems that in this election we are forced to say what should be obvious: Jesus would never be on the side of the sexual predator. Many of us feel betrayed by the Christian leaders who continue to endorse this candidate, realizing that for those prominent Christian men, women are less important than partisan politics, and the assault of women by powerful, predatory men is worth little more than a shrug.  This Christian pastor will stand for the dignity, respect, and equality of women – because it’s the right thing to do, and because it is exactly what Jesus did.”

– Rev. Karlene Clark, Wesley United Methodist Church

***

ELEANOR’S SELAH (“AHA”) MOMENT

I am discovering that if you want hope regarding this election you just need to read the link listed with a [1] in the references below from the Huffington Post.  These Evangelical woman are awesome and they, along with all the other groups Trump has insulted in America, will be cheering our first female president on November 9th.  And the election will not have been rigged—an asshole will have been rejected and kicked to the curb by a whole lot of “nasty women” who decided they just couldn’t take it anymore.

women-david-fitzsimmons-the-arizona-star

Cartoon used by permission: David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star

***

QUOTES REGARDING THE WEIGHTINESS OF WORDS

“(Pat) Robertson (Christian Grand Poohbah) has emerged as one of Trump’s most stalwart defenders on the Religious Right, claiming that the business mogul is facing satanic attacks and dismissing the tape of Trump bragging about sexually assaulting women as simply “macho” talk.”—Brian Tashman/Right Wing Watch

“I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it, you can do anything … grab them by the pussy” (speaking of his perks as a celebrity).—Donald Trump to Billy Bush/Access Hollywood

“Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.”—Luke 6:45/Holy Bible

melania-trump-interview-dave-granlund-politicalcartoons-com

Cartoon used by permission: Dave Granlund, Politicalcartoons,com

***

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR?  Check out www.eleanortomczyk.com

WANT TO READ THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOKS?  Monsters’ Throwdown and Fleeing Oz are both on sale at Amazon (Paperback and Kindle).

***

nasty-women-shirt-etsy

All designs created and owned by Fishbiscuit Designs, Inc. © $19.95 on Etsy

REFERENCES

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/christian-women-donald-trump_us_580123d6e4b0162c043bdd7d  [1]

http://www.redstate.com/sweetie15/2016/10/19/falwell-jr.-instituted-censorship-liberty-u.-students-critical-trump/

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/10/16/falwell-jr-deepens-rift-with-anti-trump-liberty-u-students.html

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/plum-line/wp/2016/10/19/trumpism-must-be-crushed-here-is-one-way-to-do-it/?hpid=hp_no-name_opinion-card-f%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.86c13e7c9279

http://www.salon.com/2016/10/19/will-millions-of-missing-voters-propel-donald-trump-to-victory-probably-not/

http://www.motherjones.com/politics/2016/10/donald-trump-obsessed-with-revenge

http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2016/10/roger-ailes-donald-trump-no-longer-speak?mbid=social_twitter

http://www.cnn.com/2016/10/20/opinions/democracy-clinton-trump-debate-joseph-opinion/index.html

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on October 20, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , ,