Do you know what I discovered this week with great amusement? Most of our news anchors had never heard of the word “dotard” when Kim Jong Un rocketed the word as an insult against Trump. What was even worse is that most of them couldn’t even pronounce it.
I was screaming at the TV every time Joe Scarborough bastardized the word on Morning Joe. Even this poor Black child, born in the ghetto, knew what “dotard” meant and how to pronounce it, but I guess that’s what happens when one has read Chaucer, Shakespeare, Agatha Christie, and J.R.R. Tolkien. (Thanks Cleveland School System; maybe you weren’t so awful after all.)
By the way, in case you haven’t been brought up to speed regarding Kim Jong Un’s vocabulary lesson to the English-speaking world (albeit, outdated English):
MEANING OF DOTARD ACCORDING TO MERRIAM-WEBSTER: “a person in his or her dotage,” which is “a state or period of senile decay marked by decline of mental poise and alertness.”
PRONUNCIATION OF DOTARD: dō-tərd (as in DOE-turd)
Since the word has gone viral (#dotard), I thought I’d look around for some examples to add to the online chatter about this hilarious choice of wording from one crazy-ass dictator to his wannabe counterpart.
I didn’t have too far to look.
I have retired to a town that is a haven for retirees. It is a lovely town—extremely bucolic—with a world-class university, lots of educational and social opportunities, wonderful restaurants, and easy access to major metropolitan areas to partake in wonderful theater and museum events. But for all its positive aspects, I have found a place where the dotards go to hang out. It is the back page of the local newspaper (the only part of the local paper that I read because the rest is too boring for words), and they use it as if it were a communal Twitter and/or Facebook page. One can call, fax, or email the editor of this newspaper and all the dotards are allowed to remain anonymous, which I think emboldens them. Each message has its own stand-alone title. I thought I’d feature a few of the more dotard-like examples to show my readers that dotards are alive and well—probably someone in your family, even—or at least a Trump voter who is mad as hell at everything and everybody. I daresay, if any one of these dotards had access to a nuclear bomb, my lovely retirement town would have gone up in smoke a long time ago.
GET OFF MY LAWN BACK PAGE
(From the Retirement Mecca Gazette)
Name of newspaper and its back page have been changed to protect me from becoming one of the local dotard’s anonymous attacks
Well, I see another day that the roads are all screwed up…for a damn bicycle race. It never ceases to amaze me how something that pays no taxes to use the road can screw it up for people who do pay taxes. I can’t even go to the grocery store without encountering a two-wheeler. If God wanted us to ride bicycles, he wouldn’t have given us cars. Down with bicycles, I say! Up with tax-payin’ diesel mobiles!
YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE
Read your article about car thefts on the rise. Couldn’t help but notice that many of the cars stolen didn’t have their doors locked. If you leave your car doors unlocked, what do you expect to happen? There is a fool born every minute is all I have to say.
To the young woman who passed me on the road the other day, I couldn’t help but notice that you had two little kids in the back seat observing you breaking the law. Now it is true that I was traveling below the speed limit (when I make a mistake, I own it), but that was no reason for you to pass me and give me what looked like “the finger” (although, I’m not quite sure it was your finger because I didn’t have on my glasses which is why I was driving so slow). Do you hug your mother with that hand? Shame on you…and to think your children saw you do that. You owe me an apology, young lady!
Orange is my favorite color, but not on accent panels on the design of buildings for the rebuilt/redesigned shopping center, let alone red and yellow, too. Why not some blues and greens? Planning commission wants “edgy.” What’s next? Digital signs on our main road? Who bamboozled the city planners into this? I bet you it was that pesky Obama. He’s out of the White House (thank God!), but still causing problems…roaming to and fro seeking whom he can devour with his foreign communist ways. I heard on Fox News that he pops up all over the place, and the next thing you know, Confederate statues are being removed and towns are tryin’ to go all “edgy” in their color schemes. He’d be the one to push red and yellow colors on our historical town just to get back at President Trump. I’ll be keeping a close eye on this—you bet your sweet biffy.
Last week, the Retirement Mecca Gazette ran an article that stated 23 college students at our very fine upstanding university are part of the 800,000 protected by the executive order President Obama signed in 2010. These so-called “dreamers” were given short-term protection…What’s puzzling to me is that 23 legal citizens were denied entry into the college because our state college chose illegals over my granddaughter. Are illegal immigrants a protected minority class in the USA? If so, are they more protected than struggling Black families?
I’ve got one thing to say to the so-called “dreamers”: Get out of my country. Go back to Africa with the man who brung you—your savior, Barack Hussein Obama! Worst president ever! Good thing President Trump is going to make America great again and kick you out. President Trump—best president ever!
ELEANOR’S SELAH (“AHA” MOMENT) REGARDING THE WORD “DOTARD”
I am discovering that dotards are everywhere, because being a dotard is a state of mind. They are in our families, our churches, our communities, and our government. A dotard is anyone who is afraid of change, intransigent in thought, and hard of heart when it comes to his or her fellowman. Dotards have to be right even when the entire world knows they are wrong because to admit they are incorrect would involve a streak of humility that no dotard possesses. All dotards fear things getting out of control (people moving too fast, ideas changing too quickly, the status quo vanishing before their eyes). The most recent dotards have popped up on the Right-Wing Christian horizon proclaiming that the Rapture will start on Saturday, September 23rd because God is judging America for its wicked ways. That’s the day when God will “snatch” all the Christians (all dotards) up to heaven and leave the rest of us sinners on Earth to be tormented by the likes of Kim Jong Un, the winds, the rains, and the earthquakes until Jesus comes back and sends us all to Hell.
They haven’t mentioned whether Trump will be one of the snatched.
Personally, I’ll take my chances with God as to the state of my soul, but I sure would like to see all the Christian dotards (and Trump) vanish on September 23rd. I need some peace.
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