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WE’VE GOT TO GET AWAY FROM HERE

Do you know what I discovered since I’ve been gone?  First of all, I’ve been gone from blogging a very, very long time.  I really didn’t mean to step away that long, but Baby-girl got married and I decided that being fully present and involved in this wondrous event of my child’s life was my primary duty as a mother.  The sorrows and chaos of this world could wait a month or two while I got to revel in one of two major joys humans are afforded on this planet:  marriages and the birth of children (hopefully the second part of the equation will come soon for the newlyweds—“Your mother is not getting any younger, Baby-girl!”).

Author Toasting Bride and Groom

AUTHOR GIVING MOTHER-OF-THE-BRIDE SPEECH: “NAILED IT!”

It was such a glorious time.  Full of love and grace. Tons of laughter and warm camaraderie. People of different races, religions, and sexual orientations wishing another beautiful interracial couple a happy and fulfilling life.  Weather was a perfect 75 degrees, no rain, no bugs, and no Trump.  It felt as if Jesus were in our midst—so much loving, so much acceptance, so much tender caring.  For 72 hours at this destination wedding on a magnificent island in the U.S. of A, Trump’s name and destructive influence on our country and its people were never mentioned or thought about.  If there were some of his hardcore supporters among the wedding guests, they didn’t reveal themselves.

Roche Harbor

Roche Harbor| Photo Credit: Cynthia Richardson

So now I am home—back in the shit storm that is Trumplandia.  Since I’ve been gone, things seem to have gotten so much worse both nationally and locally.  I came out of my wedding bubble to the man in the White House dealing with more demons whispering in his ear than he had before I entered the wedding euphoria.   And the lying…oh, my God, his lying has increased exponentially.

Trump mentors Steve Sack The Minneapolis Star-Tribune MN

Cartoon used by permission: Steve Sack, The Minneapolis Star-Tribune MN

Yet, Trump’s supporters still cling to his every word—especially his Right Wing Evangelical supporters which still has me in a state of shock (Jesus, are you watching this?).  The more Trump lies (7 – 10 times a day at the last calculation), the more his supporters worship him. The more his racism shows, the more they cheer him on and wrap themselves in things like the Confederate flag, White Supremacy, conspiracy websites, and Fox News.  I saw a poll when I returned that said 91% turn to the President for accurate information rather than their families or legitimate news organizations.  A friend just told me the other day that in a couple of prayer groups she attended, some of the members who are Trump supporters refused to pray for the border children who are still separated from their parents, may never be returned to their parents, and who are reportedly some are being abused by their caretakers. (And you ask me why I left the Church?)  Then I learned about some rabid Trump supporters in the vicinity (many of them churchgoers) who were trying to run roughshod over the rest of their community by hoisting the Confederate flag and celebrating its “glory” no matter who their actions hurt or terrorized. All I could think was which came first?  Did Trump and his demon ways awaken these horrid people from the swamp or did these horrid people awaken Trump?

Christian adoration of Trump Pat Bagley The Salt Lake Tribune UT

Cartoon used by permission: Pat Bagley, The Salt Lake-Tribune, UT

In the meantime, while all these agonizing thoughts were running through my head, it came to my attention that it was time for my annual physical.  Oh shit!  How did this come upon me so soon?  I had planned to lose those 20 pounds from the last time I saw my doctor six months ago.  In fact, I told him—swore on my mother’s grave—he wouldn’t have to worry about me shedding them because I had the wedding as an incentive. I was not going to be a fat mother-of-the-bride—no siree!  But, instead, I had gained five more pounds!

Can I confess something?  I hate going to the doctor because I never get all A’s, and for a perfectionist, that is a real pain in the ass.  It’s like being called to the principal’s office, being stopped by a White policeman when you’re driving while Black, and your father catching you sneaking back into the house after curfew—all at once.  I got a chance to review the lab results before the appointment, and they didn’t make me feel any better.  I’ve just turned 70 and every number counts.  Everything was elevated: my weight, my cholesterol, my A1C, and my blood pressure.  I just knew my doctor was going to be pissed at me and fire me as his patient.  I’ve been fired as a patient before because I take no grief from doctors (that’s another blog, entirely).  Instead, what he did do, shocked me so much, you could have knocked me over with a feather…

Doctor office meme

DOC. H:   Morning, Mrs. Tomczyk.  How’s everything?

TRUCULANT ME:  Not great, as you can see.  First of all, why do you and every doctor I’ve ever been to make me weigh in before the nurse takes my blood pressure?  Of course it’s going to be 160/90.  Your lyin’ scale just gave me the shock of my life!  And why is the scale always out in a public space?  I took off so many clothes to get a more accurate read of my weight that some old man put his hands over his eyes, started to scream, and fled the building, leaving his cell phone and his cane behind because he was so horrified by my Stormy Daniels’ striptease.

DOC. H:   Now, Mrs. Tomczyk, we’ve been over this before.  Knowing what you weigh at the beginning of our session helps me figure out what you need as a patient.  Wouldn’t you prefer a little embarrassment in order to get a more accurate diagnosis?

PETULANT ME:  Hell to the no!

DOC. H:  [Sigh] Let’s see what we have here.  Hum, all your numbers are elevated.  You were doing so well six months ago.  What happened?

WHINING ME:  What happened?  WHAT HAPPENED?  Donald Trump happened!  His mania is spreading all across the land, or at least it is giving “permission” for the crazies to come out of the sewers.  The Governor of Virginia has declared a state of emergency in Charlottesville because it is the one year anniversary since the murder of Heather Heyer by Confederate sympathizers and Neo-Nazi White Supremacists, and he doesn’t want a repeat of last year.  Virginia also has a man running to become one of its senators (Corey Stewart) who is a “Lost Cause” trumpeter who adulates the likes of Nathan Bedford Forrest and calls himself a rebel sounding the clarion call for the keeping of Confederate statues in place and unfurling the Confederate flag here, there, and everywhere because…you guessed it:  He says, “it’s my heritage.”  What the hell?  This dude grew up in Minnesota, for Pete’s sake!

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard about Northerners goose-stepping behind Nathan Bedford Forrest (slave trader, creator of the KKK, mass murderer of surrendered Negro troops, and the grand wizard of the KKK) and worshiping his image.  They have all been Trump supporters, of course. Their bottom line can only be in the name of White Supremacy.  What if this happens where I live?  I’d have to fight to expose this lie, of course.  I would not let my community wake up awash in Confederate flags while the African-Americans started feeling like second-class citizens in their own homes.  The fear of this keeps me awake at night.

I know you won’t believe me, but I don’t break my diet (well, not often), and I exercise like crazy.  Admittedly, I don’t get much sleep with all that is going on and all that I worry about.  But I can’t stand by and let the lies of our current President seep into the local soil where I live.  I can feel the zombie racism creeping toward me and mine.  I WILL FIGHT THIS EVIL WHERE IT SPROUTS.  I WILL ENCOURAGE OTHERS TO FIGHT IT.  I WILL NOT SURRENDER TO TURNING THE CLOCK “BACK TO THE CONFEDERACY!”

Confederate Monuments in Context David Fitzsimmons The Arizona Star Tucson AZ

Cartoon used by permission: David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star, Tucson, AZ

DOC. H:  All right, General Grant.  I hear you, and, believe it or not, as a White man, I get it.  I can’t tell you how many of my patients have come to me in tears because of what is happening in our country.  Grown White men sobbing because of the racism they see happening to people of color.  As one very lovely Italian man in his seventies told me, he thought we had won the war against racism long ago, and what he sees now is breaking his heart.  Not only do I understand what you’re saying, but I’m going to say something that will probably shock you.  Your numbers are elevated not because of how you eat or exercise but because of the inordinate stress you are suffering from events happening to you on a national and local level that seem beyond your control.  The stress is causing an increase of cortisol in your system, and it wouldn’t matter how little you ate or how much you exercised, you still wouldn’t lose weight.  And because you’re gaining weight as a result of the stress, all of your other numbers are increasing.

SUSPICIOUS ME:  Does that mean you’re going to up my meds?  You know those are fighting words to me, Doc. I refuse to become one of those old people on too many drugs who can’t remember their names or what day it is.  I have to take care of myself the natural way as long as I can through exercise and diet.

DOC. H:  No pills, I promise.  But here’s your new prescription:

#1.  You must fight this evil disguised in the Confederate flag! You must expose this evil! You must lead against this evil wherever it washes up on your shore of influence. You can’t fight everything everywhere, but you can fight what is within your jurisdiction, your writing arena, and your voting power.  It is for this day, this place, and this time that you were called to be.  Don’t shrink back from the fight. Write about it.  Protest it. Stand!  We need people like you, more than ever.

#2.  However, don’t let the fight kill you. You’ve got to get away from here—from the battlefield—if you hope to survive.

#3.  To keep you from having a heart attack or a stroke, I suggest the following:

  • Wage war where and when you can, and then pull back for a respite—on a daily basis
  • Watch or read the news, but only for an hour (bad news can wait); organize your battle plans, but only for a portion of the day, then…
  • Spend the rest of day in your garden, reading, engaging with your husband, spending time with good friends, enjoying your children, practicing your hobbies, thinking about all that is lovely in the world. Be fully present!  What’s that Bible verse I learned as a kid?  “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things and the God of peace will be with you” (Philippians 4:8).
  • Get 7-8 hours of sleep
  • Walk 10,000 steps a day—everyday! Give that Fitbit a run for its money.  Keep that body moving, Lady!

Statism

 INCREDULOUS ME:  What?  I think you’re gonna make me cry, Doc. A doctor who understands his patient.  A medical person who gets my struggles. A physician who doesn’t think I’m lying about not eating fried chicken and chocolate bon-bons? Who knew there was such a creature?  I could just kiss you!

DOC. H:  [Smiles] See you in three months.  Oh, and Mrs. Tomczyk—one more thing.  Above all else—be civil. Among the many things the man in the White House has destroyed is civility.  You can’t win this war without civility.  What’s that Michelle Obama maxim:  “When they go low, we go high!”

Incivility Bob Englehart Middletown CT

Cartoon used by permission: Bob Englehart, Middletown, CT

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES ABOUT THE CONFEDERATE FLAG AND CIVILITY

“The Confederate Battle Flag was the emblem of Jim Crow defiance to the civil rights movement, of the Dixiecrat opposition to integration, and of the domestic terrorism of the Ku Klux Klan and the White Citizens’ Councils of our all too recent, all too awful history. White Christians ought to think about what that flag says to our African-American brothers and sisters in Christ, especially in the aftermath of yet another act of white supremacist terrorism against them.” Russell Moore, president of the SBC’s Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission who called for Christians in the South to forsake their affinity for the Confederate flag after the Charleston massacre of Black Christians

“I believe that our president has fostered a culture and climate that has allowed for what was there and has been there for years to bubble up. It has empowered people in a horrific way. Absolutely. I don’t think there’s any question about it.”—Rev. John Gray, pastor of Relentless Church in Greenville, S.C

“Civility is not not saying negative or harsh things. It is not the absence of critical analysis. It is the manner in which we are sharing this territorial freedom of political discussion. If our discourse is yelled and screamed and interrupted and patronized, that’s uncivil.”—Richard Dreyfuss

 “Our ultimate freedom is the right and power to decide how anybody or anything outside ourselves will affect us.”― Stephen R. Covey

Uncivil War John Darkow Columbia MO

Cartoon used by permission: John Darkow, Columbia, MO

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR?  Check out her website at www.eleanortomczyk.com

THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOKS:  Monsters’ Throwdown, Fleeing Oz, The Fetus Chronicles on sale now at Amazon!

WANT TO HEAR THE AUTHOR’S LATEST PODCAST INTERVIEW? http://breadboxmedia.podbean.com/e/what-if-it-is-true-can-you-find-faith-in-darkness/

REFERENCES

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/22/christian-confederate-slavery_n_7638676.html

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/corey-stewart-airbrushes-slavery-out-of-civil-war-history/2018/07/05/2ef44a06-7be5-11e8-80be-6d32e182a3bc_story.html?utm_term=.ee61505ad0c4

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/right-turn/wp/2018/08/01/trumps-tampa-circus-proves-you-cant-reason-with-his-base/?utm_term=.98f368a79838

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
4 Comments

Posted by on August 11, 2018 in Uncategorized

 

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IT’S RAINING PERVS, IDIOTS, AND LIARS!

Do you know what I discovered after returning from my Thanksgiving-enforced news hiatus?  Time away wasn’t long enough.  It appears that things have gotten much, much worse in these United States of America.  How is that even possible?  Within a span of seven days, it looks as if someone flushed a giant toilet in the sky and closeted perverts masquerading as upstanding human beings are circling the drain at a dizzying speed. 

Sexual Assault Graveyard Dave Granlund Politicalcartoons com

Cartoon used by permission: Dave Granlund, Politicalcartoons.com

We appear to be on the verge of a nuclear war with North Korea (God, have mercy!), the trenches are crowded with die-hard Trumpeters refusing to see the light that their “savior” is destroying the presidency, our country, and our world standing, and if those aren’t enough metaphors for you, so-called born-again Christians are selling their souls to the devil in a fire sale to support an accused pedophile for the Senate and an admitted p**sy grabber and liar-in-chief in the White House.

November 30, 2017

Cartoon used by permission: Adam Zyglis, The Buffalo News

By the time I finished catching up with the news, I was exhausted and ready to take another vacation. But I momentarily thought to myself, this may be good.  These sexual assault revelations, at least, are a sea change in our culture.  Eureka! Maybe now, those who call themselves die-hard Christian supporters of Trump will come forward and demand a fundamental biblical action—confession/repentance—from our P**sy-Grabber-in Chief due to the 13 or so sexual assault allegations against him.   Maybe those who say that it is God’s will Trump is President and swear to his born-again status will help him see the error of his ways by speaking truth to power:  “Trump, you are a pervert. In fact, a news report was released today from two people who once heard you brag while gawking at a woman that was not your wife: ‘There is nothing in the world like first rate p**sy.’  Stand up and be counted, Dude.  Repent—go, and sin no more!”

Morning Tums Jeff Koterba Omaha World Herald NE

Cartoon used by permission: Jeff Koterba, Omaha World Herald NE

I heard plenty of outrage from Republican Christians against the “liberal” media and celebrity bad boys that got exposed (no pun intended), but only the sound of crickets when it came to holding Trump’s feet to the fire of sexual assault accountability.

Partician Outrage Steve Sack The Minneapolis Star Tribune

Cartoon used by permission: Steve Sack, The Minneapolis Star-Tribune

I was so dismayed that those who claimed to be the champions of moral authority were backing the wrong horse (again), much like they did historically as Lutherans for Hitler, Dutch Reformed Christians for Apartheid, and Southern Baptists for segregation that I got mad as Hell—at God.

But here’s the problem with the version of Christianity I believe in:  I can’t actually see God—or audibly hear Him/Her.  I mean, I know He’s there and loves us pathetic humans—all of us.  It’s just that I used to believe God spoke to me as an individual, as many of the Christians who support Trump and will never leave his side do (God “told” them to stick with Trump, no matter what).  But I was brain washed and all of the things I said God had said to me (except one—check out Monsters’ Throwdown to see which one that was) was all shit I made up so that other Kool-Aid drinkers would think I was all that and a bag of chips.

Right now, I am really angry.  Angry that the will and love of God is being misinterpreted, and I’m angry that God doesn’t rescue our country from the mentally ill despot in the White House. I’m so angry that I am wallowing in sin like a pig in a mud hole.

This morning I woke up thinking how much I envy my Catholic friends.  I would love to go to confession and bare my soul because I’ve got some questions that need answers and God’s got some ‘splainin’ to do about why so many of his peeps are so delusional.  As I often do when my head and heart are in a fog, I made myself a cup of tea, turned on the fireplace, and fantasized about the conversation I would have if a priest came wandering by my window.

Memes About Confession me me

ME:  Bless me father for I have sinned.  It has been “never” since my last confession because I’m a Protestant.  I mean for years, I was so arrogant I thought Catholics weren’t true Christians.  So, I guess, technically, this is my first confession.  I mean, I pray all the time and ask God to forgive me for my multitudinous sins, but I’ve never used a conduit.  Please forgive me if I make a mess of this and above all, please don’t take offense.  Some of my best friends are Catholic.

PRIEST:  Hello, Eleanor.  Good to see you, my child. No offense taken. May God the Father of all mercies help you make a good Confession, and I will do my best to help guide you through the process as a non-Catholic.

ME:  Well, that’s good, Father, because I need to confess right off the bat that my heart is consumed with hatred.  It’s a good thing I don’t own a gun because I could seriously hurt somebody right now.  Recently, I received a copy of a Facebook screed pontificating on the “anointed” reign of Trump and how much he had accomplished in God’s name as God’s man in power.  This was written by a person who used to be my friend until her constant Facebook attacks on President Obama were so clearly racist that I realized she couldn’t possibly love me, as a Black woman, and believe the things she posted.  In my ex-friend’s dissertation about Trump, she ignored his blatant lies (he’s re-upped the birther lie about President Obama, in case you haven’t heard), she ignored his racism (have you seen the latest anti-Muslim retweet that were doctored videos by a neo-fascist hate group aimed at demonizing Muslims?), and she ignored his alignment with Roy Moore (the accused child molester running for the Senate in Alabama).  All backed up by Scripture, of course. I can’t believe that she is such an idiot.  I hate her with a passion!

Trump Supports Roy Moore Dave Granlund Politicalcartoons com

Cartoon used by permission: Dave Granlund, Politicalcartoons.com

PRIEST:  Well … that’s probably not a good idea.  In your Protestant journey did you ever read the scripture from Proverbs 10:12: “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses?”

ME:  Yes, but SHE’S the one stirring up the strife.  The bitch knows better (sorry about the “B” word, Father), but she drank some right-wing Christian Kool-Aid.  Besides why should she be able to get away with being an idiot, and I have to obsequiously do the “love” thing?  You expect me to be nicer than Jesus?

PRIEST:  It’s not what I expect, it is what the God of Love commands.

ME:  Speaking of the God of Love, wait until you hear how mad I am at Him. I’ll probably get sent straight to Hell for those thoughts.  God’s got all the power, why doesn’t He DO something?  Why is He letting Trump flush our country down the toilet and bring us to the brink of WW III?  God knows that Trump is mentally ill.

PRIEST:  God’s ways are not our ways, my Child.

ME:  No disrespect, Father, but if I were a god and people were taking my name and my character in vain the way Trump and his Christian supporters are doing, I’d zap Trump with an aneurysm, strike Roy Moore with a heart attack, and cause the gun manufacturers and the NRA to get palsy every time they even thought about a gun.  And don’t get me started on Trump’s press secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders—the supposed daughter of a preacher man and a “God-fearing Christian” who justifies every lie Trump utters without blinking an eye.  Do you know that according to The Washington Post, Trump has made 1,628 false or misleading claims in less than 300 days?  I’d glue Sanders’ mouth shut and take away her ability to speak until she died if I were her god.  She’s heartless.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Meme: Covering for Trump Lies/imgflip.com

PRIEST:  Well, we should all be glad you’re not God, and that none of us get caught in your crossfire. It doesn’t seem to have one shred of mercy. Let me ask you something. Have you ever been wrong about what you considered truth?  I mean something that you believed for years—maybe even believed it because you thought that is what God wanted you to believe?  And then one day, or over a series of days or years, the metaphorical scabs were removed from your eyes, and you saw “the light”—so to speak?

ME:  Oh Yeah. It’s happened more than once about quite a few things.  I wrote three books about changing:  Monsters’ Throwdown, Fleeing Oz, and The Fetus Chronicles.  You should read them sometime.  I think you’d enjoy them—even as a priest. Although the language might be a bit rough for you.

PRIEST:  Oh, you’d be surprised at what I can tolerate being a Father Confessor.  Why do you think you changed?  Was it through people hating and disdaining you, or was it through people praying for your awakening out of delusional thinking into something concrete and truly holy and love-inspiring?

ME:  Huh, maybe…

PRIEST:  When’s the last time you’ve read Romans 12:18: “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

ME:  Okay, I get it.  I’ve forgotten who I am, and who God is.  I need to learn how to fight the good fight for the common good without resorting to using the same base weapons as my enemies, and let God do what only he can do to bring about the change he controls.  In the meantime, Father, now that I’ve seen the light—what is my penance?

PRIEST:  Not quite sure because you’re not Catholic.  Hum … How about, cut your news consumption by 90%? Most of it you can’t control, anyway.  Daily pray for strength to love those who wrong you.  Drink lots more chamomile tea and read a good book.  May I suggest the Holy Bible, Def Jam poetry, or listen to some Jill Scott tunes—preferably, “Living My Life Like it’s Golden”?

Confession Goes to You

Courtesy of Catholic Memes

ELEANOR’S SELAH (“AHA” MOMENT) ABOUT LOVE CONQUERING HATE

I am discovering that as much as I’d like to hate those who hate me or hate what I hold dear, I simply can’t get away with it if I say I love God.  It seems I must force myself to constantly press through those ugly thoughts into a place of grace and love.  I must pray for those I believe to be delusional to see the light—the truth.  It is hard and almost damned near impossible, but I must reach high when they stoop low.  As to my God, if He is to be truly an all-powerful God to me, then I must trust in Him (not lean on my own understanding of the moment in time) that all things will work together for good in the end.  Unfortunately, the God of the Universewho is timelessseems to have a different concept of time which definitely affects when there is an end to evil at any given moment.

Alabamas Black Response David Fitzsimmons The Arizona Star

Cartoon used by permission: David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star

               INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES

“This is not complicated. Conyers should resign. Franken should resign. Moore should drop out or be defeated. Hypocrisy on the other side doesn’t justify hypocrisy on our side. Period.”Tweet by Guy Cecil, Principal Player in Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee who helped Franken win reelection three years ago.

This is equally not complicated.  Trump should resign—immediately—before he fucks up our country to the point of no return.”—Eleanor Tomczyk, American citizen and decent human being

******

THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOK:  “The Fetus Chronicles:  Podcasts From my Miseducated Self” is on sale now at Amazon!

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR?  Check out her website at www.eleanortomczyk.com

WANT TO HEAR THE AUTHOR’S LATEST INTERVIEW?  Check out the podcast interview with Leo Brown: http://breadboxmedia.podbean.com/e/what-if-it-is-true-can-you-find-faith-in-darkness/

****** 

REFERENCES

https://www.salon.com/2017/11/29/sarah-sanders-just-defended-donald-trumps-retweets-showing-facts-dont-matter/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/our-political-foundation-is-rotting-away/2017/11/29/173a497c-d54d-11e7-b62d-d9345ced896d_story.html?tid=hybrid_experimentrandom_with_top_mostshared_2_na&utm_term=.8349aa67825b

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-bragged-nothing-in-the-world-like-first-rate-psy

http://www.cnn.com/2017/11/29/opinions/donald-trump-has-gone-too-far-again-brian-klaas-opinion/index.html

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2017/11/14/president-trump-has-made-1628-false-or-misleading-claims-over-298-days/?utm_term=.8c3fbe8865b5

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/plum-line/wp/2017/11/29/two-new-reports-suggest-trump-has-come-unhinged-the-truth-is-worse/?hpid=hp_no-name_opinion-card-b%3Ahomepage%2Fstory&utm_term=.24422f838962

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
12 Comments

Posted by on November 30, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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Y’ALL WOKE YET?

Do you know what I’ve discovered this week?  Our “country, tis of thee, sweet land of liberty,” is in trouble, Girls and Boys!  We are being led by a madman who has been proven to be a consummate liar, and he allegedly colluded with the Russians to interfere with our election.  The walls of our country are falling down around Trump’s ears.  This dude is beginning to make Nixon look like a saint, and the question that continues to blow my mind is:  How can his supporters—especially his Christian supporters—still stand behind this cretin? Plus, he’s trying to kill off Big Bird!

America cannot be saved Marian Kamensky Austria

Cartoon used by permission: Marian Kamensky, Austria

 

I “watched” the Congressional hearing featuring Director Comey and his side-kick Adm. Michael S. Rogers the other day from start to finish.  THE FINAL VERDICT:  Trump LIED, LIED, LIED about President Obama wiretapping Trump Tower, Trump lied about President Obama coercing British intelligence to spy on him (which incurred the wrath of the Brits), and Trump lied about lying.  And then there are the Russian connections to his campaign—growing stronger and louder every day.

Besides the Russians, I started wondering about the two major groups that ushered this madman into the White House:  disenfranchised White folks (boy, are they going to be devastated at his betrayal) and born-again Christians (boy, are they gonna have some ‘splainin’ to do to Jesus).  I’m wondering how they can justify their support of such a creature—especially the “born-agains.” (In the interest of full disclosure, I am a born-again Christian but the kind with a brain, a heart, and a soul that hasn’t sold itself to the devil—a.k.a. Trump.)

Maybe it’s me?  Maybe the rules have changed as to how God feels about liars.  If so, then I can see why the 4 out of 5 White evangelicals who voted for Trump (and think he is God’s anointed man of the hour) are winking at his lies.  I don’t know—maybe there’s a new Bible in town— you know, the book they all swear by.  I decided to put Trump and The Holy Bible on trial and call up my alter ego (The Dalai Mama) to do a “Judge Judy” courtroom scene in which Truth is weighed in the balance.

Leaks Nate Beeler The Columbus Dispatch

Cartoon used by permission: Nate Beeler, The Columbus Dispatch

 

Courtroom scene opens in an alternative universe where Donald Trump is the defendant, the God of the Universe is the plaintiff, and my alter ego (The Dalai Mama) is the judge. 

BAILIFF: All rise. Department One of the Superior Court is now in session.  The Honorable Judge Dalai Mama is presiding.  Please be seated.

DALAI MAMA: Good mornin’, ladies and gentlemen. Hope y’all had your Wheaties this mornin’ ‘cause it’s gonna be a long day, I can tell.  Callin’ forward our first case of the God of the Universe versus Donald Trump. Are both sides ready?  Where’s the plaintiff, God?  I don’t see him.

BAILIFF:   Excuse me, your Honor, but God sent a representative to testify on his behalf—The Holy Bible.  If that is okay with you?

DALAI MAMA:  What am I gonna say?  No?  I’d much prefer THE MAN, Himself show today because He’s been awful quiet lately.  The world could use Him showing up in the flesh, and settin’ a few things straight.  In fact, we really need him to do something about South Sudan.  Starvation is getting’ so bad there that the guerilla warriors are kidnapping the aid workers and demanding their ransom in food.  But since He’s God, I’ll accept His surrogate.  Proceed, Bailiff.

BAILIFF: Your Honor, the defendant (Donald J. Trump) has been charged with the crime of lying through his teeth.

TRUMP: False!  Bad Bailiff!  You dare judge me—fake news!  Under the law I am presumed innocent until proven guilty. During this trial, you will hear no real evidence against me. You will come to know the truth: that I, Donald Trump, speak only truth and everyone who disagrees with me speaks lies—especially that “bad man,” Barack Hussein Obama. I am not guilty of anything.  All my facts about him came from very reliable sources of the highest order.

Trump Intel David Fitzsimmons The Arizona Star

Cartoon used by permission: David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star

 

DALAI MAMA:  Zip it Donald.  Keep it up, and you’ll be in contempt of court. The Bench calls the owner of the truth of God—the Holy Bible.

BAILIFF:   Please stand. Raise your right hand. Do you promise that the testimony you shall give in the case before this court shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

BIBLE:  I do.

BAILIFF: Please state your first and last name and spell it.

BIBLE:   My name is Bible—no first name—just Bible.  I’m the “B-I-B-L-E…”

BAILIFF:   [breaks into song) “Yes, that’s the book for me!”

DALAI MAMA:  Cut it out, Bailiff, my courtroom ain’t no Sunday school!  Bible, since you are the plaintiff in this case, what has Donald Trump done to piss off the God of the Universe.

BIBLE:  Well, your honor, Mr. Trump claims to be a “Christian,” but Jesus sent me here to tell the Court that if this man is a Christian, then the Earth is flat and the Sun revolves around the Earth.  He’s never heard Trump repent of anything, admit he’s wrong about anything, and God finds him to be a lowlife who abuses women.

TRUMP:  Oh, yeah?  Well, if I’m not a Christian, why did the White Conservative Evangelicals send me to the White House?  They think I’m a Christian.  Besides, who cares what you think:  I’m President and you’re not.  And who is this Jesus, anyway.  Didn’t he get crucified?  I don’t like gods who get crucified—only gods who don’t.  Loser!

DALAI MAMA:  Hey—FOOL!  Don’t you dare come up in my courtroom blasphemin’ the Lawd.   You may survive his wrath, but you won’t survive mine, Sucka!  Bible, please proceed.

Trump Burning Bob Englehart CagleCartoons com

Cartoon used by permission: Bob Englehart, CagleCartoons.com

 

BIBLE:  As I was saying, the God of the Universe takes issue with Mr. Trump being a Christian and questions the faith of those who will not confront The Donald on his egregious lies.  One of the characteristics of God is that he is a God of Truth.  If it would please the Court, would your Honor please read the latest tweet lies that made their way into the heavens and, therefore, to God’s ears?

DALAI MAMA:  Sure.  Is it true Mr. Trump that on March 4, 2017, you tweeted the following:  “How low has President Obama gone to tapp [sic] my phones during the very sacred election process? This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!”  What is it about Barack Obama that causes you to lose yo’ “Christianity,” Sir?  If, indeed, you are a Christian.

TRUMP:  The Kenyan keeps messing with me.  He’s messing with me right now.  Can’t you see him standing over there trying to tape this travesty of a hearing?  He’s in cahoots with that Jesus character.

Trump sees Obama RJ Matson Roll Call

Cartoon used by permission: RJ Matson Roll Call

DALAI MAMA:  No!  You’re changing the subject, Little Man.  These court documents submitted by David Leonhardt from the NY Times say you (Trump) lied about:  “Obama’s birthplace, John F. Kennedy’s assassination, Sept. 11, the Iraq War, ISIS, NATO, military veterans, Mexican immigrants, Muslim immigrants, anti-Semitic attacks, the unemployment rate, the murder rate, the Electoral College, voter fraud and his groping of women.”   Look like you wouldn’t know the truth if it came and bit you in the butt, Trumpee.  Bible, what does God have to say about lyin’?

BIBLE:  Tons of stuff.  First off, in the second commandment of the Ten Commandments, God says:  Don’t do it.  In Leviticus 19:11, my pages say:  “Do not lie.  Do not deceive.” 

TRUMP: Levite what?  Is that some kind of Jewish hotdog? I love hot dogs.

BIBLE:  (Sigh!)  Then there’s one of my favorites:  “Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”  That’s in Colossians 3:9

DALAI MAMA:  Isn’t that lovely?  My favorite is Ephesians 4:25“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are members of one another.” Isn’t that somethin’ else? “We are members of one another.”  Now, how you and yo’ followers claim to be Christians when you lie like a rug when it’s so much easier to tell the truth.  Director Comey shot yo’ lies right out of the sky.

Lies shot down by Comey Steve Sack The Minneapolis Star Tribune

Cartoon used by permission: Steve Sack, The Minneapolis Star-Tribune

TRUMP:   You believe that so-called FBI Director?  That so-called Bible?  They’re both lying.  They’re both fakes—pushing fake news!

BAILIFF:  Y’all ain’t even come close to my favorite scripture about lyin’ yet, written right there in the heart of the Bible in Psalm 34:11-16:

“Come my children, listen to me;

I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

Whoever of you loves life

And desires to see many good days,

Keep your tongue from evil

And your lips from telling lies.

…the face of God is against those who do evil,

To blot out their name from the Earth.”

DALAI MAMA:  Oooooh, you hear that, Trump?.  Your days are numbered, Baby.  The Bible that you say you believe in says the God you say you believe in is gonna wipe your behind off the face of the Earth and blot out the Trump name from the Earth unless you stop doin’ evil.  There you have it.  On that note, I ain’t got nothin’ else to say, except:  “Donald J. Trump, you are guilty of lyin’ your ass off, and you stand accused of such, by the God of the Universe.  Repent, ask God’s forgiveness, and apologize to President Obama for defaming his name and legacy, and then, maybe—just maybe—your presidency might not suffer the wrath of God!”

TRUMP:  I never admit to wrong doing.   I never ask forgiveness (I thought everybody knew that).  I don’t like this hearing.  God is so unfair.  Bad God.  Why doesn’t he zap the Kenyan? Then maybe I’d listen to him.  He clearly doesn’t like me.  I only like gods who like me.  So there!

Trump Cursed America Bill Day Cagle Cartoons

Cartoon used by permission:  Bill Day, Cagle Cartoons

***

ELEANOR’S “SELAH” (“AHA” MOMENT) REGARDING TRUMP’S LIES

I am discovering that America needs to ask itself:  What type of leader do we want, and what is the meaning of truth?   The more lying becomes accepted practice in our presidents, the more we’ll get used to it, until there will be no more truth in the land.  ‘Cause here’s the thing:  a fish rots from the head on down.  Hey, Christian supporters of Trump:  “Y’ALL WOKE YET?”

What America Wants Nate Beeler The Columbus Dispatch

Cartoon used by permission: Nate Beeler, The Columbus Dispatch

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 SCARY QUOTES ABOUT TRUMP’S INABILITY TO TELL THE TRUTH

“Donald Trump’s peculiar relationship with the truth—his penchant for promoting unfounded stories and conspiracies theories—represents not just a curious quirk or a character flaw. They are a much-practiced technique that has paid dividends as self-promotion in his business career and in his political rise. Over decades spent in the company of yes men and yes women, he has been able to fire off nonsense without question or rebuke.  But now he is President Trump, and his breezy spewing of falsehoods has become a national embarrassment—a threat to U.S. security and America’s standing in the world.”—Frida Ghitis/CNN

 “If the Trump campaign, or anybody associated with it, aided or abetted the Russians, it would not only be a serious crime, it would also represent one of the most shocking betrayals of our democracy in history.”Rep. Adam Schiff of California

“I have been authorized by the Department of Justice to confirm that the FBI, as part of our counterintelligence mission, is investigating the Russian government’s efforts to interfere in the 2016 presidential election,” Comey said. “And that includes investigating the nature of any links between individuals associated with the Trump campaign and the Russian government.”Director Comey

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WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR?  Check out www.eleanortomczyk.com

WANT TO READ THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOKS?  Monsters’ Throwdown and Fleeing Oz are both on sale at Amazon (Paperback and Kindle).

ANNOUNCEMENT:  Third book by author due to launch in three weeks.  Stay tuned!

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REFERENCES

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2017/03/trump_s_comey_tweet_was_one_of_his_most_terrifying_lies_yet.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/20/opinion/all-the-presidents-lies.html?action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=opinion-c-col-right-region&region=opinion-c-col-right-region&WT.nav=opinion-c-col-right-region&_r=0

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/21/us/roger-stone-donald-trump-russia.html?action=click&contentCollection=Opinion&module=Trending&version=Full&region=Marginalia&pgtype=article

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/20/us/trump-obama-wiretap-comey.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=first-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news&_r=0

http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/17/opinions/trump-falsehoods-a-national-embarrassment-ghitis/?iid=ob_article_footer_expansion

http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/22/opinions/spicer-problem-with-truth-robbins/index.html

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 
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Posted by on March 23, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

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