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Author Archives: etomczyk

About etomczyk

I am a storyteller who blogs about the absurdities of life, especially as seen through the eyes of a baby-boomer, African-American humorist (think Bridget Jones marries Chris Rock and they produce a baby called Whoopi Goldberg). www.howthehelldidienduphere.wordpress.com

HAMILTON, THE MUSICAL

Do you know what I discovered last week?  Every once and awhile, God answers one of my begging, pleading, nagging prayers:  Last week God answered two of them.  I got to go to NYC and see, Hamilton: An American Musical (Yeah, Baby!), and Bill O’Reilly got kicked out of Fox News on his ass along with his sicko buddy Roger Ailes.   Buh, bye boys! 

OReilly and Ailes Steve SackThe Minneapolis Star Tribune

Cartoon used by permission: Steve Sack, The Minneapolis Star-Tribune

But enough of that slimy, arrogant, racist, misogynistic, lying piece of shit—O’Reilly—and “hello” to a hero and a scholar:  ALEXANDER HAMILTON!  (You know, that dude on the ten-dollar bill, one of the founding fathers of the United States, one of the main authors of the Federalist Papers, and our first Secretary of the Treasury.)

Playbill_from_the_original_Broadway_production_of_Hamilton

By Source (WP:NFCC#4), Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=47271664

So I bet you’re wondering, how did this old woman get so lucky?  Well, as the kids would say, “This is what had happened”:

SOME TIMES PRAYERS DO GET ANSWERED AND DREAMS DO COME TRUE

By the author, ET

**A REVIEW**

Once upon a time there was an old woman who transitioned into retirement the same month a phenomenon was being born on Broadway and tickets into Heaven were easier to get than those to Hamilton.  The Woman hadn’t yearned to see a Broadway show as much as this since Les Miz.  But, alas, alack, The Man she was married to turned a deaf ear to her machinations to ransom their first born child in order to procure tickets.  His only response:  “If we weren’t moving—maybe—but we now live on a budget (fixed income/income fixed: say it frontwards and backwards, they both mean the same thing), and tickets to Hamilton are not an option.” 

The Woman (who never takes “no” for an answer), while beseeching her God to strike Donald Trump with a lightning bolt and crater Fox News with an earthquake, snuck in a teensy-weenie prayer that he would change her husband’s heart about tickets to the musical Hamilton before Christ’s return.  No answer.

In the meantime, The Woman assuaged her disappointment at not seeing the musical by reading Ron Chernow’s bestseller, Alexander Hamilton (the book the musical is based upon) and listening to and memorizing every song on the cast recording of Hamilton.

Alexander Hamilton Chernow

Book cover of Alexander Hamilton/Amazon.com

A year went by as The Man and The Woman settled into retirement and began to travel more. It was at that point that The Woman began to get hints that Her God might be answering her prayers about Hamilton.  A short time later, and quite by accident, The Woman and The Man ended up on St. Kitts on an old sugar cane plantation train traversing the island that overlooked the birthplace of Alexander Hamilton: Charlestown, Nevis. 

Alexander Hamilton Birthplace

By Daniel Farrell – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=13565315

“The current structure was rebuilt from the ruins of the house where Alexander Hamilton was born and lived as a young child.”Wikipedia

As The Woman engaged in excited, hyperbolic pontifications to a fellow traveler sitting next to her about the history of Hamilton, her longing to see the musical before she died, and what a fantastic work of history Ron Chernow’s book is, The Woman encountered (unbeknownst to her) her first Trump supporter in the flesh.  The Trump Supporter from Pennsylvania had never heard of the musical (horrors!) or the history book by Chernow (double horrors!!).  In fact, The Trump Supporter confessed her lifelong disdain for history until she started reading Bill O’Reilly’s (of Fox News) five historical books about Lincoln, Kennedy, Jesus, Patton, and Reagan (quadruple horrors!!!!).  The Trump Supporter asked The Woman if she had read those “wonderful works of history?”  The Woman went all Alec Baldwin on her—forgot her traveling manners—as she declared that if the books O’Reilly wrote were considered “history,” then she was a direct descendant of Alexander Hamilton, and that O’Reilly’s books had been trashed by the critics as a bunch of crap. Then The Woman topped the cake with icing by stating:  “Anyone who reads O’Reilly’s historical messes as truth is an idiot.  Needless to say, The Trump Supporter was not amused, turned her back on The Woman while she demanded that her husband tell the “two queers” in front of the train window to move so that she could get a picture of Hamilton’s island home.

I should have realized at that moment something was afoot:  O’Reilly and Alexander Hamilton in the same breath, on a slave train, in a tropical island?  God was on the move—I could feel it.

Even Vice President Pence got to see the musical “Hamilton” and got schooled by the Hamilton cast during the curtain call.  Yes!  And his daddy (Trump) got pissed and demanded an apology from the cast.  (Never!!) Everyone was getting to see Hamilton except me.  Where was the love, The Woman asked The Man and Her God?

Trump vs Hamilton Bob Englehart CagleCartoons com

Cartoon used by permission: Bob Englehart CagleCartoons.com

Then Christmas 2016 came.  The Woman’s present was the last one to be opened.  In a box that looked as if it held a new Cuisinart, the woman dug deep and pulled out an envelope:  Two tickets to Hamilton for April 2017—“Merry Christmas, Baby, Love ‘White and Wonderful!’”

It appears that The Man had been working, searching, planning, saving, and doing everything in his power to bless the love of his life with tickets to Hamilton.  He had bought the tickets over a year ago and kept it a secret from The Woman.  The Woman damn near fainted in front of the Christmas tree, as she reminded her children that this was one of the reasons she had married their father—this was the way love rolled!

Last week, The Man and Woman went off to New York City to see the show of a lifetime.  Few things ever, ever meet up to one’s expectations, but Lin-Manuel Miranda’s Hamilton surpassed The Woman’s greatest expectations!  It didn’t matter that Mr. Miranda was no longer starring in this phenomenon, because the replacement cast was equal (and in a couple of cases) better than the original cast.  The night The Woman and The Man saw the show, Brian D’Arcy James (of “13 Reasons Why” of Netflix fame and the original King George III during Hamilton’s workshop days), and James Monroe Iglehart (the genie from Broadway’s Aladdin) made their debuts in Hamilton and brought down the house.  From the moment the cast started the opening number, and the Aaron Burr character sang his opening line, chills spread up and down The Woman’s body and she and her man were transported to heaven:

“How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a

Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten

Spot in the Caribbean by providence, impoverished, in squalor,

Grow up to be a hero and a scholar?”

Lyrics, “Hamilton” by Lin-Manuel Miranda

The Woman sent a message back to all her family, friends and fans that night:  “Do whatever you have to do to see the musical, Hamilton.  The hype is no exaggeration.  The script is outstanding, the singing is superb, the choreography is brilliant, and the message is transformational.  Beg, borrow, steal (do the time [just kidding], oh hell, it would be worth it!), but you must see this show.  It will change your life!  Lin-Manuel Miranda is a genius.

Hamilton

Photo credit:  Eleanor Tomczyk

INSPIRATIONAL “SELAH” (“AHA” MOMENT) BY ELEANOR TOMCZYK

I am discovering that prayers do get answered.  While I was in NYC seeing Hamilton, O’Reilly’s career was destroyed.  I can’t tell you how many petitions I’ve signed to have that man removed from the airwaves and how many prayers I’ve uttered to have his influence eradicated.  I was horrified when I met that Trump Supporter in the West Indies—horrified at the stupidity she embraced based on a stupid man’s lies that she believed to be truth.

On the other hand, I was enthralled by the brilliance of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s awesome rendition of one of our forefathers’ stories.  It reminded me that we are a nation of immigrants (Miranda, himself, is the son of Puerto Rican immigrants) inspired by God to do great things.  And although it looks as if we are living in the gutter right now under the reign of a tyrant king, we once “turned the world upside down” as Lin-Manuel’s lyric says and did the impossible by overthrowing a stupid king and building a great nation that cannot easily be destroyed.  I saw Hamilton and I came away inspired and strengthened in faith that God is hearing my prayers for the immigrant, the disenfranchised, and the powerless.

Killing OReillys Career David Fitzsimmons The Arizona Star

Cartoon used by permission: David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star

***

INSPIRTATION ALEXANDER HAMILTON QUOTES

“Why has government been instituted at all? Because the passions of man will not conform to the dictates of reason and justice without constraint.”—Alexander Hamilton

 “The voice of the people has been said to be the voice of God; and, however generally this maxim has been quoted and believed, it is not true to fact. The people are turbulent and changing, they seldom judge or determine right.”Alexander Hamilton

“There are seasons in every country when noise and impudence pass current for worth; and in popular commotions especially, the clamors of interested and factious men are often mistaken for patriotism.”Alexander Hamilton

QUOTES COURTESY OF www.brainyquote.com

Political Discourse David Fitzsimmons The Arizona Star

Cartoon used by permission: David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star

REFERENCES

https://www.theguardian.com/stage/2016/nov/05/why-hamilton-is-making-musical-history

http://www.broadwayworld.com/article/Non-Stop-James-Monroe-Iglehart-and-Brian-DArcy-James-Join-the-Broadway-Cast-of-HAMILTON-Tonight-20170414

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 
2 Comments

Posted by on April 23, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , ,

EASTER IS COMING!

Do you know what I discovered, recently?  Mother Nature can’t make up her mind whether spring should come or winter should stay.  I live in a golf community, and even though I’d personally prefer to knock myself unconscious with a five-iron rather than play a round of golf, I am feeling a bit sorry for my friends and neighbors who almost froze to death last week just trying to play nine holes.  While they muttered and complained about the wind-chill factor, I turned back on the heat and the fireplace, and wrapped myself in a warm blanket with a mug of hot chocolate.

Winter Spring Duel Dave Granlund Politicalcartoons com

Cartoon used by permission: Dave Granlund, Politicalcartoons.com

As I meditated on the concept of why any sane human being would ever want to hit a white ball with a clubbed stick in any type of weather, suddenly the sky grew dark and stormy, the heavens opened up, and rain with hail the size of peas on steroids began to assault my house and property while the trees bent so low, it looked as if they were trying to kiss the Earth.  While I tried to determine whether I was in a tornado and should run down to the basement, a rabbit flew across my lawn (propelled by the wind) in search of shelter, but never managed to land on its feet.  The hurricane-type winds pushed him down the hill at fifty miles an hour and out of sight.   I’m pretty sure he didn’t survive, and I imagine his bunny ass is plastered against one of the trees in the forest behind my house.  However, I’ll never know for sure because when I tried to find out what happened to him once the storm was over, a large snake slithered out of the forest towards me, and I ran back into the safety of my house, screaming:  “Oh Hell to the no! Bunny.  I like rabbits—being it’s near Easter and all—but tangling with a snake to save your sorry-ass is beyond the pale.”  (Don’t you ever wonder why we don’t see more animals flying through the air when bad storms happen?  Where do they go during hurricanes and tornados?  What do they cling to when the winds are moving at a hundred miles an hour?  I have a million squirrels on my property—why didn’t I see at least a half million of those soaring through the air?)

I took a nap, fully expecting to dream about that wind-kill-of-a-bunny, but instead I dreamt of the Easter Bunny.  Only in my dream scenario, the Easter Bunny wasn’t being hammered by a winter/spring storm against a tree, he was in hiding in a giant cave with a gazillion eggs, hordes of Easter candy with a legion of reporters asking him how he’d lost his faith.  I could see them, but they couldn’t see me.  As I approached the scene, I heard the Easter Bunny say:  “I quit, I quit I tell you!  All you people from every country all over this planet are horrid creatures.  There isn’t a country that I’ve visited where I haven’t been assaulted, attacked, and arrested.  What am I guilty of?  What did I ever do but bring happiness, sunshine, and color to your pathetic lives?  And what do I get in return?  War.  Mayhem.  Slaughter.  Assault.  Abuse.  BUNNY LIVES—ESPECIALLY EASTER BUNNY LIVES—MATTER, YOU SONS-A-BITCHES!”

Easter in Europe Marian Kamensky Austria

Cartoon used by permission: Marian Kemensky, Slovakia

(News organizations represented: RNN=Real News Network, EBN=Easter Bunny News, MNBC=Mayhem Network Broadcasting Corporation, ETWN=End of the World Network)

RNN:  Easter Bunny.  We just got news via your Twitter account that you’re quitting the biz.  What gives?

EASTER B:  You—all of y’all.  You’re the reason I’m quitting.  The entire human race has gotten on my every last nerve.  All my bunny partners are quitting, also.  From here to China and back through Africa, we are hanging up our Easter baskets and taping down our ears.  You beings could care less about Easter and what it stands for.  The Bunny Times was delivered to me today, and I almost had a heart attack just getting through the first half-dozen headlines:

The Uranium Underworld: ISIS want a dirty bomb—and it knows where to get one

Famine now threatens more people than at any time since World War II

San Bernardino reels from elementary school shooting that left teacher, 8-year-old student dead

Charleston church shooter Dylann Roof pleads guilty in state court, avoids second death penalty trial

It Took Thieves 30 Seconds to Crash Truck Into Store, Grab Guns And Leave

Approaching “societal collapse”: New equation shows how quickly humans are wrecking the planet

Why the population of Easter Island really died out: Study finds arrival of Europeans brought disease that wiped out inhabitants

EASTER B:  I’ve just been hiding out in this cave, getting drunk and sobbing myself to sleep.  You people are some nasty-ass mammals.  You destroy everything in your wake—from babies to the Earth’s atmosphere.  No amount of Cadbury eggs and jelly beans can fix you.  You’re broken, and I am at my wit’s end regarding how to fix you.

World Broken Dave Granlund Politicalcartoons com

Cartoon used by permission: Dave Granlund, Politicalcartoons.com

EBN:  Easter Bunny, is it true that you were shot at in Alabama?

EASTER B:  Shot at in Alabama, Tennessee, Georgia, Louisiana, South and North Carolina, Kentucky, Mississippi, Oklahoma, Texas, and of course Florida.  Those goddamn “stand your ground laws” will be the death of me yet.  What is it with you people and your love of guns?  I’ve traveled through war zones and never been shot at as much as I have in the United States.  Aren’t you people the ones who claim that the One who Easter is about is the One who loves your nation above all other nations?  (It isn’t true, you know; I have it on great authority that my employer loves all peoples from all nations.)  But my point is, show me the Bible verse where Jesus said, “I died on the cross so that you might have a life with guns and have guns more abundantly to shoot and kill anybody that looks at you sideways.”

Easter Bunny Gunned Down Dave Granlund Politicalcartoons com

Cartoon used by permission: Dave Granlund, Politicalcartoons.com

MNBC:  Mr. Bunny, people are saying that you’re exaggerating your plight because in reality you’re just getting too old for the job, but you don’t have the chutzpah to retire.  Is it true?  Aren’t you 500 years old?

EASTER B:  Who is spreading those vicious lies?  I’m not a day over 400!  I’m as spry as the day I started when I used to be called “The Judge,” and I determined what children had been naughty or nice to leave candy for the nice ones.  That is until that fat guy in the red suit took over my modus operandi.

 ETWN:  Sir, “End of the World Network” here.  Is it true that you were on United Airlines flight 3411 at Chicago O’Hare International Airport and saw the entire scene go down when United brutalized the elderly Asian man and pulled him off the plane because they allegedly wanted to give his seat to a crew member? Are the stories we’ve been hearing true?

EASTER B:  You’re damn straight the stories are true.  Yes, I had just settled into my seat with my basket of goodies (Peeps, jelly beans, chocolate eggs—you name it) stowed overhead when the scene went down.  It was just horrific, I tell you—disgusting!  The poor man was bleeding and frightened.  Children were crying, people were screaming for the United Airlines thugs to stop brutalizing that old man.   (He’s a doctor, you know?  I kept waiting for the stewardess to announce:  “Is there a doctor on board to treat the passenger who we just beat the shit out of?”  Then the guy could have raised his hand to treat himself and saved United some money, which seems to be all they care about these days.  They certainly don’t care about their customers.  Fly the friendly skies with United, my bunny ass!)  What you don’t know is that I was the fourth individual who was asked to give up my seat.  Well, as you can imagine, I said an emphatic, “Hell to the no!”  I had to get to Louisville that night, too.  Children were waiting for me.  I told the snarky flight attendant that Easter is a priority.  Had she no faith?

ETWN:  What did she say?

EASTER B:  She said, “Yeah, right!  If you’re the Easter Bunny, than I’m Jesus Christ.  Get out!”  And then the United Airlines thugs dragged me out—Easter accoutrements flying every which way but Sunday.  It’s appalling the way they treated me!  United Airlines actions with the Asian man and with Easter Bunny extraordinaire were devoid of compassion and coldhearted as a snake!

United Airlines Bunny Rick McKee The Augusta Chronicle

Cartoon used by permission: Rick McKee, The Augusta Chronicle

MNBC:  Do you have any proof?  Did anyone take pictures and post them on Facebook?  You got a YouTube video?

EASTER B:  That’s for me to know and for you to find out.  All you need to know is that last bit of inhumanity did it for me.  Broke my heart and my spirit.  I figured if they could do that to “moi” (a revered international figure that is well over 400 years old), then no human is safe in their hands.  That’s when I decided to give up the ghost and go into hiding.  The Chinese Easter Bunny sent me a text a couple hours ago and said he is also quitting, because he is convinced that the United Airlines debacle was racially motivated since the doctor was Asian that they dragged off the plane.  I don’t know anything about that (as far as I’m concerned, their actions towards me were those of rodent racists).  All I know is no human being who was just trying to make his way back home deserved to be treated like that.  Anyway, you all will have to excuse me.  I need to get some rest.

EBN:  One last question, Easter Bunny.  If you stay in hiding, who will represent the Easter Bunny at the White House Easter egg hunt and roll?

EASTER B:  No longer my concern, Dude.  Maybe your President will be able to conjure up a replacement.  In the meantime, adieu, ciao, adios!

Steve Bannon as the Easter Bunny John Darkow Columbia Daily Tribune Missouri

Cartoon used by permission: John Darkow, Columbia Daily Tribune, Missouri

ELEANOR’S “SELAH” (“AHA” MOMENT) ABOUT EASTER

I am discovering that fortunately my hope and trust in Easter has nothing to do with a bunny, so he can be dead for all I care.  But the fact that my God did not stay dead, but rose again on Easter morning is the reason I live, breathe, and have my being. 

Resurrection = a second chance, and a second chance = hope.  Every day I pray as a human being to do right by others—be they family or strangers.  Yet, every day I fall short of that goal and betray the life of my good God who gave His life for me that I might have life and have it more abundantly than my birth, race, and social status initially accorded me by the country of my birth.  I love spring because no matter how cruel and long winter is or how many missteps I make as an inadequate human, spring never fails to resurrect the Earth and bring forth summer, and Easter never fails to readjust my moral compass.

In spite of all the wintery darkness of the world that swirls around us (wars and rumors of wars, chemical warfare, ISIS, and a President from Hell), the remembrance of the resurrection of Jesus undergirds my soul so that I hope—no, I KNOW—that because of Easter, summer is coming to the hearts of man.  Easter is the miracle that life wins over death.

HAPPY EASTER, EVERYONE!

JESUS IS RISEN—HE IS RISEN, INDEED!

Easter Risen Dave Granlund Politicalcartoons com

Cartoon used by permission: Dave Granlund, Politicalcartoons.com

 

INSPIRATIONAL EASTER QUOTES

“A man who was completely innocent, offered himself as a sacrifice for the good of others, including his enemies, and became the ransom of the world. It was a perfect act.”—Mahatma Gandhi

“I really do believe that God is love, one of deep affection and grace and forgiveness and inspiration.”—William P. Young

“Easter is very important to me, it’s a second chance.”—Reba McEntire

Spring and freezing Rick McKee The Augusta Chronicle

Cartoon used by permission: Rick McKee, The Augusta Chronicle

DO YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS COMING?  MY THIRD BOOK!  TWO MORE WEEKS—WATCH THIS SPACE!

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR?  Check out www.eleanortomczyk.com

WANT TO READ THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOKS?  Monsters’ Throwdown and Fleeing Oz are both on sale at Amazon (Paperback and Kindle).

 REFERENCES

http://www.salon.com/2017/04/11/donald-trumps-white-house-cant-even-organize-the-easter-egg-roll/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/dr-gridlock/wp/2017/04/11/amid-pr-fiasco-over-dragged-passenger-united-ceo-defends-his-crew/?hpid=hp_hp-top-table-main_no-name%3Ahomepage%2Fstory

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
6 Comments

Posted by on April 11, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , ,

Y’ALL WOKE YET?

Do you know what I’ve discovered this week?  Our “country, tis of thee, sweet land of liberty,” is in trouble, Girls and Boys!  We are being led by a madman who has been proven to be a consummate liar, and he allegedly colluded with the Russians to interfere with our election.  The walls of our country are falling down around Trump’s ears.  This dude is beginning to make Nixon look like a saint, and the question that continues to blow my mind is:  How can his supporters—especially his Christian supporters—still stand behind this cretin? Plus, he’s trying to kill off Big Bird!

America cannot be saved Marian Kamensky Austria

Cartoon used by permission: Marian Kamensky, Austria

 

I “watched” the Congressional hearing featuring Director Comey and his side-kick Adm. Michael S. Rogers the other day from start to finish.  THE FINAL VERDICT:  Trump LIED, LIED, LIED about President Obama wiretapping Trump Tower, Trump lied about President Obama coercing British intelligence to spy on him (which incurred the wrath of the Brits), and Trump lied about lying.  And then there are the Russian connections to his campaign—growing stronger and louder every day.

Besides the Russians, I started wondering about the two major groups that ushered this madman into the White House:  disenfranchised White folks (boy, are they going to be devastated at his betrayal) and born-again Christians (boy, are they gonna have some ‘splainin’ to do to Jesus).  I’m wondering how they can justify their support of such a creature—especially the “born-agains.” (In the interest of full disclosure, I am a born-again Christian but the kind with a brain, a heart, and a soul that hasn’t sold itself to the devil—a.k.a. Trump.)

Maybe it’s me?  Maybe the rules have changed as to how God feels about liars.  If so, then I can see why the 4 out of 5 White evangelicals who voted for Trump (and think he is God’s anointed man of the hour) are winking at his lies.  I don’t know—maybe there’s a new Bible in town— you know, the book they all swear by.  I decided to put Trump and The Holy Bible on trial and call up my alter ego (The Dalai Mama) to do a “Judge Judy” courtroom scene in which Truth is weighed in the balance.

Leaks Nate Beeler The Columbus Dispatch

Cartoon used by permission: Nate Beeler, The Columbus Dispatch

 

Courtroom scene opens in an alternative universe where Donald Trump is the defendant, the God of the Universe is the plaintiff, and my alter ego (The Dalai Mama) is the judge. 

BAILIFF: All rise. Department One of the Superior Court is now in session.  The Honorable Judge Dalai Mama is presiding.  Please be seated.

DALAI MAMA: Good mornin’, ladies and gentlemen. Hope y’all had your Wheaties this mornin’ ‘cause it’s gonna be a long day, I can tell.  Callin’ forward our first case of the God of the Universe versus Donald Trump. Are both sides ready?  Where’s the plaintiff, God?  I don’t see him.

BAILIFF:   Excuse me, your Honor, but God sent a representative to testify on his behalf—The Holy Bible.  If that is okay with you?

DALAI MAMA:  What am I gonna say?  No?  I’d much prefer THE MAN, Himself show today because He’s been awful quiet lately.  The world could use Him showing up in the flesh, and settin’ a few things straight.  In fact, we really need him to do something about South Sudan.  Starvation is getting’ so bad there that the guerilla warriors are kidnapping the aid workers and demanding their ransom in food.  But since He’s God, I’ll accept His surrogate.  Proceed, Bailiff.

BAILIFF: Your Honor, the defendant (Donald J. Trump) has been charged with the crime of lying through his teeth.

TRUMP: False!  Bad Bailiff!  You dare judge me—fake news!  Under the law I am presumed innocent until proven guilty. During this trial, you will hear no real evidence against me. You will come to know the truth: that I, Donald Trump, speak only truth and everyone who disagrees with me speaks lies—especially that “bad man,” Barack Hussein Obama. I am not guilty of anything.  All my facts about him came from very reliable sources of the highest order.

Trump Intel David Fitzsimmons The Arizona Star

Cartoon used by permission: David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star

 

DALAI MAMA:  Zip it Donald.  Keep it up, and you’ll be in contempt of court. The Bench calls the owner of the truth of God—the Holy Bible.

BAILIFF:   Please stand. Raise your right hand. Do you promise that the testimony you shall give in the case before this court shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?

BIBLE:  I do.

BAILIFF: Please state your first and last name and spell it.

BIBLE:   My name is Bible—no first name—just Bible.  I’m the “B-I-B-L-E…”

BAILIFF:   [breaks into song) “Yes, that’s the book for me!”

DALAI MAMA:  Cut it out, Bailiff, my courtroom ain’t no Sunday school!  Bible, since you are the plaintiff in this case, what has Donald Trump done to piss off the God of the Universe.

BIBLE:  Well, your honor, Mr. Trump claims to be a “Christian,” but Jesus sent me here to tell the Court that if this man is a Christian, then the Earth is flat and the Sun revolves around the Earth.  He’s never heard Trump repent of anything, admit he’s wrong about anything, and God finds him to be a lowlife who abuses women.

TRUMP:  Oh, yeah?  Well, if I’m not a Christian, why did the White Conservative Evangelicals send me to the White House?  They think I’m a Christian.  Besides, who cares what you think:  I’m President and you’re not.  And who is this Jesus, anyway.  Didn’t he get crucified?  I don’t like gods who get crucified—only gods who don’t.  Loser!

DALAI MAMA:  Hey—FOOL!  Don’t you dare come up in my courtroom blasphemin’ the Lawd.   You may survive his wrath, but you won’t survive mine, Sucka!  Bible, please proceed.

Trump Burning Bob Englehart CagleCartoons com

Cartoon used by permission: Bob Englehart, CagleCartoons.com

 

BIBLE:  As I was saying, the God of the Universe takes issue with Mr. Trump being a Christian and questions the faith of those who will not confront The Donald on his egregious lies.  One of the characteristics of God is that he is a God of Truth.  If it would please the Court, would your Honor please read the latest tweet lies that made their way into the heavens and, therefore, to God’s ears?

DALAI MAMA:  Sure.  Is it true Mr. Trump that on March 4, 2017, you tweeted the following:  “How low has President Obama gone to tapp [sic] my phones during the very sacred election process? This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!”  What is it about Barack Obama that causes you to lose yo’ “Christianity,” Sir?  If, indeed, you are a Christian.

TRUMP:  The Kenyan keeps messing with me.  He’s messing with me right now.  Can’t you see him standing over there trying to tape this travesty of a hearing?  He’s in cahoots with that Jesus character.

Trump sees Obama RJ Matson Roll Call

Cartoon used by permission: RJ Matson Roll Call

DALAI MAMA:  No!  You’re changing the subject, Little Man.  These court documents submitted by David Leonhardt from the NY Times say you (Trump) lied about:  “Obama’s birthplace, John F. Kennedy’s assassination, Sept. 11, the Iraq War, ISIS, NATO, military veterans, Mexican immigrants, Muslim immigrants, anti-Semitic attacks, the unemployment rate, the murder rate, the Electoral College, voter fraud and his groping of women.”   Look like you wouldn’t know the truth if it came and bit you in the butt, Trumpee.  Bible, what does God have to say about lyin’?

BIBLE:  Tons of stuff.  First off, in the second commandment of the Ten Commandments, God says:  Don’t do it.  In Leviticus 19:11, my pages say:  “Do not lie.  Do not deceive.” 

TRUMP: Levite what?  Is that some kind of Jewish hotdog? I love hot dogs.

BIBLE:  (Sigh!)  Then there’s one of my favorites:  “Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.”  That’s in Colossians 3:9

DALAI MAMA:  Isn’t that lovely?  My favorite is Ephesians 4:25“Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are members of one another.” Isn’t that somethin’ else? “We are members of one another.”  Now, how you and yo’ followers claim to be Christians when you lie like a rug when it’s so much easier to tell the truth.  Director Comey shot yo’ lies right out of the sky.

Lies shot down by Comey Steve Sack The Minneapolis Star Tribune

Cartoon used by permission: Steve Sack, The Minneapolis Star-Tribune

TRUMP:   You believe that so-called FBI Director?  That so-called Bible?  They’re both lying.  They’re both fakes—pushing fake news!

BAILIFF:  Y’all ain’t even come close to my favorite scripture about lyin’ yet, written right there in the heart of the Bible in Psalm 34:11-16:

“Come my children, listen to me;

I will teach you the fear of the Lord.

Whoever of you loves life

And desires to see many good days,

Keep your tongue from evil

And your lips from telling lies.

…the face of God is against those who do evil,

To blot out their name from the Earth.”

DALAI MAMA:  Oooooh, you hear that, Trump?.  Your days are numbered, Baby.  The Bible that you say you believe in says the God you say you believe in is gonna wipe your behind off the face of the Earth and blot out the Trump name from the Earth unless you stop doin’ evil.  There you have it.  On that note, I ain’t got nothin’ else to say, except:  “Donald J. Trump, you are guilty of lyin’ your ass off, and you stand accused of such, by the God of the Universe.  Repent, ask God’s forgiveness, and apologize to President Obama for defaming his name and legacy, and then, maybe—just maybe—your presidency might not suffer the wrath of God!”

TRUMP:  I never admit to wrong doing.   I never ask forgiveness (I thought everybody knew that).  I don’t like this hearing.  God is so unfair.  Bad God.  Why doesn’t he zap the Kenyan? Then maybe I’d listen to him.  He clearly doesn’t like me.  I only like gods who like me.  So there!

Trump Cursed America Bill Day Cagle Cartoons

Cartoon used by permission:  Bill Day, Cagle Cartoons

***

ELEANOR’S “SELAH” (“AHA” MOMENT) REGARDING TRUMP’S LIES

I am discovering that America needs to ask itself:  What type of leader do we want, and what is the meaning of truth?   The more lying becomes accepted practice in our presidents, the more we’ll get used to it, until there will be no more truth in the land.  ‘Cause here’s the thing:  a fish rots from the head on down.  Hey, Christian supporters of Trump:  “Y’ALL WOKE YET?”

What America Wants Nate Beeler The Columbus Dispatch

Cartoon used by permission: Nate Beeler, The Columbus Dispatch

***

 SCARY QUOTES ABOUT TRUMP’S INABILITY TO TELL THE TRUTH

“Donald Trump’s peculiar relationship with the truth—his penchant for promoting unfounded stories and conspiracies theories—represents not just a curious quirk or a character flaw. They are a much-practiced technique that has paid dividends as self-promotion in his business career and in his political rise. Over decades spent in the company of yes men and yes women, he has been able to fire off nonsense without question or rebuke.  But now he is President Trump, and his breezy spewing of falsehoods has become a national embarrassment—a threat to U.S. security and America’s standing in the world.”—Frida Ghitis/CNN

 “If the Trump campaign, or anybody associated with it, aided or abetted the Russians, it would not only be a serious crime, it would also represent one of the most shocking betrayals of our democracy in history.”Rep. Adam Schiff of California

“I have been authorized by the Department of Justice to confirm that the FBI, as part of our counterintelligence mission, is investigating the Russian government’s efforts to interfere in the 2016 presidential election,” Comey said. “And that includes investigating the nature of any links between individuals associated with the Trump campaign and the Russian government.”Director Comey

***

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR?  Check out www.eleanortomczyk.com

WANT TO READ THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOKS?  Monsters’ Throwdown and Fleeing Oz are both on sale at Amazon (Paperback and Kindle).

ANNOUNCEMENT:  Third book by author due to launch in three weeks.  Stay tuned!

***

REFERENCES

http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/politics/2017/03/trump_s_comey_tweet_was_one_of_his_most_terrifying_lies_yet.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/20/opinion/all-the-presidents-lies.html?action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=opinion-c-col-right-region&region=opinion-c-col-right-region&WT.nav=opinion-c-col-right-region&_r=0

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/21/us/roger-stone-donald-trump-russia.html?action=click&contentCollection=Opinion&module=Trending&version=Full&region=Marginalia&pgtype=article

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/20/us/trump-obama-wiretap-comey.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=first-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news&_r=0

http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/17/opinions/trump-falsehoods-a-national-embarrassment-ghitis/?iid=ob_article_footer_expansion

http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/22/opinions/spicer-problem-with-truth-robbins/index.html

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 
3 Comments

Posted by on March 23, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , ,

NIGHTMARES OF A MAD MAN

Do you know what I discovered this week?  That Number 45 is losing his mind due to insane jealousy of a Black man and has declared all-out war on the former President.  What’s your evidence, you’d ask?  Why, the nuclear twitter war we’ve all found ourselves in, I’d reply.  Not to mention the secret intel I received from an anonymous source this week, I’d say.

Trump Shelter Rick McKee The Augusta Chronicle

Cartoon used by permission: Rick McKee, The Augusta Chronicle

 

Reveal your sources, you’d demand!  HELL TO THE NO, I’d exclaim!  Your pay grade isn’t high enough for me to reveal my deep throat connections.  But I can share with you one thing:  I have a transcript of a certain President’s late night conversation with his hand mirror, which should prove to you that the impostor in the White House has gone stark raving mad.

Check it out!

Trump Paranoia Steve Sack The Minneapolis Star Tribune

Cartoon used by permission: Steve Sack, The Minneapolis Star-Tribune

***TOP SECRET/CONFIDENTIAL***

SUBJECT:  Clandestine surveillance of Number 45 (code name: “Little Hands”)

METHOD:  Wiretapping of cell phone, hacking of Twitter account, and bugging of Mar-a-Lago—Florida White House

DATE:  Saturday Morning when son-in-law is observing the Sabbath

TIME:  3:00 a.m.

Below is a transcript of Number 45 in the wee hours of the morning having woken up from what appears to our agents to be an on-going nightmare.   Judging by the camera angles from the gold lamé canopy over the master suite bed, Trump woke up extremely agitated and in a cold sweat as he frantically went in search of his favorite hand mirror and his cell phone.  The following conversation was recorded soon after.

Coo Coo Trump Bill Day Cagle Cartoons

Cartoon used by permission: Bill Day, Cagle Cartoons

 

#45:     Mirror, mirror in my hand, who is the fairest in the land?

MIRROR:  You again?  You ask me this same god-damn question every night since you took office.  And I tell you the same freakin’ thang:

“Donald, Baby, you da’ fairest in the land…”

#45:  REALLY?!  SO TRUE… SO GOOD!  SO BIGLY! THANK YOU HAND MIRROR, SO MUCH!

MIRROR:  And like all the other nights you rush to judgment because you cut me off befo’ I finish speakin’.  Then I have to go and repeat myself:

Trumpee, Darlin’, you da’ fairest in the land as to what’s in reach of yo’ tiny little hands.

BUT, dear Donald, yo’ land is small (Mar-a-Lago, golf courses, Trump Tower, and all).  

Because you, my Donald, are fair; it is true (in a reality star, classless, nouveau riche type of brew),

But Barack Obama is—throughout the entire world—so much fairer than you.

He is so cool, so suave, so intelligent, so sophisticated, so kind, so gracious

Compared to vous!”

#45:  NOOOOOOOOOO!  Say it isn’t true!  Where’s my phone?  Where’s my sweet little blue bird, too?

MIRROR:   WORD!  What I say is true, because unlike you, I cannot lie—so bye!

#45:  Wait, wait hand mirror.  What if I told you my humble abode at Trump Tower had been “wiretaped” by Obama during the campaign?  Wouldn’t that show the world what a nasty, bad guy he is picking on little ol’ me, when I’m just trying to do my job and become the most adored president—ever—throughout the land?

MIRROR:  What if I told you that yo’ sorry-ass can’t spell worth a damn?  You think that Good King Obama wire “T-A-P-P-E-D” your phone lines in Trump Tower, as well as the cell phone in your hand?  When and how?  While you was in the shower?

Obama Wire tapping Wolverton Cagle Cartoons

Cartoon used by permission: Wolverton, Cagle Cartoons

 

#45:  I don’t know how that Kenyan, Muslim, Marxist darkie recorded my conversations with the Russians before the election—I just know that he is not one of the good Blacks who adores me (SHOUT OUT TO MY GIRL, OMAROSA!), so he must have it out for me.  So watch me tweet this to the world to destroy his reputation:

@Donald J. Trump Tweet: “How low has President Obama gone to tapp my phones during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!” 

Voila!  I bet you people won’t think he’s such a hot shot now.  “Mirror, mirror, in my hand, who is now the fairest in the land?”

MIRROR:  “Trumpee, how many times do I have to repeat this rhyme?

“You are the fairest in your mind, that’s true.

But my main man, Barack Hussein Obama,

 Is a thousand times a better man than you.

You lie, you cheat, you disavow,

Any bad behavior in the past or now.

In truth, my little tiny hand ‘king,’

You’re not worthy to kiss Obama’s ring.”

Trump Magic Show Dave Granlund Politicalcartoons com

Cartoon used by permission: Dave Granlund, Politicalcartoons.com

 

#45:  SHUT UP, SHUT THE FUCK UP!  No one’s more popular—more loved by the people than me.  I’ll send out another tweet to kill that damn Obama’s popularity—you’ll see:

@Donald J. Trump Tweet: “122 vicious prisoners, released by the Obama Administration from Gitmo, have returned to the battlefield. Just another terrible decision!”

MIRROR:  FALSE, tiny hands!  Most of those prisoners were released by Bush—check your sources, you feeble-minded douche.

#45:  I can break you, you know.  You’re just a mirror.

MIRROR:  No, you can’t—you’re just a bully; of you, I have no fear.  (God, I need to quit this gig and go do mimes—I can’t stop talkin’ in mindless rhymes.)   My point remains the same, that in this game:  Even if you ordered your demon, Bannon, to cut out the heart and liver of Obama, like in the story of Snow White, Barack’s star would still shine bright.  After that brutal act, you’d ask me on a future, nightmarish night, to tell you of your fairest plight, and I’d answer with the same keen insight:

“Oh, Donald, thou art fairest of the 45% you see

 (The people who voted for you—NOT ME),

But outside of the White House and your crazy-ass supporters,

 Barack Obama’s reputation is still alive and well,

And none is as fair as he.”

#45:  WHAT THE F—!  Must send rash of new tweets showing my hatred and jealousy of previous ruler—Barack HUSSEIN Obama—and other shit, before he goes into history books as a better leader than me.  (God, I hate that N—)

MIRROR:  Watch yo’ mouth, old man, if you wish to live to see another day with yo’ tiny little hands!

#45:  Sigh!  (I hate that Kenyan ever since I couldn’t prove he wasn’t an American, and he made a fool of me at the Correspondents’ Dinner.)  I’LL GET YOU, BARRY, AND YOUR LITTLE DOG, BO, TOO!  Cannot sleep until I bring that Mofo down.  (Love that word, Mofo.  Learned it from Arsenio Hall when he was on Celebrity Apprentice—best show ever!)

@Donald J. Trump TWEET:  SAD! Just learned Waldo in “Where’s Waldo” books harder to find.  He got smaller.  Obama did it. SNEAKY NEGRO!

@Donald J. Trump TWEET:  Said I didn’t have meeting with any Russians during campaign. Google has proof I did.  Boo Google—failing company. HATERS!

 @Donald J. Trump TWEET:  UNPRESIDENTIAL! Obama won’t return my phone calls.  What bug flew up his ass?  RUDE!

Trump Obama fever Nate Beeler The Columbus Dispatch

Cartoon used by permission: Nate Beeler, The Columbus Dispatch

*** 

ELEANOR’S “SELAH” (“AHA”) MOMENT

I am discovering that giving up alcohol and carbs for Lent was ill-timed.  I no longer have any coping mechanisms at my disposal during the reign of “Little Hands.”

Trump Fear hate Lies Pat Bagley Salt Lake Tribune

Cartoon used by permission: Pat Bagley Salt Lake Tribune

***

MEDITATIVE QUOTES ABOUT TWITTER USE

“On the one hand Twitter gives you the opportunity to engage with people, which is great, but on the other there are people who feel they can say whatever they want, put poison out there, really, without fear of any repercussions.”—Michael Sheen

“What do you think Jesus would twitter, ‘Let he who is without sin cast the first stone’ or ‘Has anyone seen Judas? He was here a minute ago.’”—Chris Cornell

“I don’t do Twitter because I don’t want to talk about myself more than I already have to.”—Kit Harington

***

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR?  Check out www.eleanortomczyk.com

WANT TO READ THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOKS?  Monsters’ Throwdown and Fleeing Oz are both on sale at Amazon (Paperback and Kindle).

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT: THIRD BOOK OF THE DISCOVERY SERIES DUE OUT IN APRIL 2017.  WATCH THIS SPACE!

***

REFERENCES

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2017/03/07/top-trump-ally-met-with-putin-s-deputy-in-moscow.html

http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/08/politics/donald-trump-barack-obama-wiretapping/index.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/05/opinion/when-one-president-smears-another.html?mabReward=A3&recp=1&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&region=CColumn&module=Recommendation&src=rechp&WT.nav=RecEngine

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/powerpost/wp/2017/03/06/here-are-the-photos-that-show-obamas-inauguration-crowd-was-bigger-than-trumps/?hpid=hp_hp-cards_hp-card-fedgov%3Ahomepage%2Fcard

http://www.salon.com/2017/03/07/ben-carsons-infinite-fall-from-grace/

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
10 Comments

Posted by on March 8, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , ,

WINTER IS COMING

Do you know what I discovered today?  I’M BACK!  But while I was gone, finishing my third book which is due out in April, it appears that we had two defining moments as a nation:

#1.  “Number 45” has shown himself to be far more horrific, narcissistic, and petulant at governing than we could have ever imagined, which means (to borrow a phrase from Game of Thrones) “winter is coming” America! 

#2.  Astronomers discovered a nearby solar system with seven Earth-like planets that might support life.

Yeah, I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking about moving.

new-home-planet-john-cole-the-scranton-times-tribune

Cartoon used by permission: John Cole, The Scranton Times-Tribune

I wonder if at least one of the seven planets will give me political asylum because I can foresee a time when open resistance to this administration may cause me problems. You see, I’m no longer just Eleanor “The Writer,” Eleanor “The Wife, Mother, and Grandmother,” I had to become “ET the Bee” when I joined the resistance movement recently after “he who shall not be named” started acting the fool over the past forty days.

I chose my underground resistance pseudonym because bees are the deadliest non-human animals in America.  One bee may not prove to be more than a nasty inconvenience, but when combined with 99 other bees, the stings can be deadly.

I know that I am nobody, and if my words (my choice of warfare) sting at all, at this point, they are simply a nuisance.  HOWEVER, when my words are added with others in the resistance (comedians, anti-Trump bloggers, and journalists with balls), they become powerful and will eventually bring down “Number 45” and his entourage—which is my hope and prayer.  (I told you that I’d pray for “Number 45”—I just didn’t tell you how I’d pray for him.)

But I can see a day when our narcissistic leader starts going after bloggers like he’s going after the legit Media.  (Actually, isn’t his wife already suing a blogger?  Yikes!)  Therefore, I’ve put together a back-up plan to apply for asylum on one of the seven new planets.  If they will let me in as an Earthly alien, which might be doubtful, given our reputation in the universe.

new-planets-osama-hajjaj-jordan

Cartoon used by permission: Osama Hajjaj, Jordan

TRAPPIST 1 SYSTEM

AQUARIUS CONSTELLATION

39 LIGHT-YEARS (235 TRILLION MILES) AWAY FROM EARTH 

Dear Trappist 1 Immigration Service:

My name is Agent “ET Bee,” and I am writing you to request asylum in the event that the Looney Tunes guy who has stolen the presidency of the United States (maybe via Russia—not what I’m saying, but others are saying it—SAD!), tries to kick out any and everyone who attempts to speak truth to power or who attempts to shake our citizens out of their foggy thinking. 

I have no idea how much of the Earth’s history you know, but we’ve been here before.  The first sign of a wannabe dictator is that they try to silence their critics.  It then follows with the dictator denying the Press access to information (sending them to Siberia), then imprisoning them, and finally killing them.  That way the dictator can present himself any way he chooses without pesky challenges.

press-and-dictators-dave-granlund-politicalcartoons-com

Cartoon used by permission: Dave Granlund, Politicalcartoons.com

As a resistance movement agent, I am engaged in the fight to keep “Number 45” (my name for him because I refuse to add the respectful word of “president” to the last name of a liar, pussy grabber, and womanizing, thrice-married, twitter-addicted, bromancer of Vladimir Putin) from becoming normalized and acceptable in the American psyche.  Last week, at least 60% of Americans did not consider “Number 45” to be our legitimate president.  Hillary Clinton won the popular vote by 3 million more people, and the orange orangutan won the presidency with 304 Electoral College votes, which I’m sure you think that system is really antiquated and quite amusing.  The end result was that the majority would like to have a do-over and those who voted for him were slowly waking up with buyer’s remorse.

not-my-president-milt-priggee-www-miltpriggee-com

Cartoon used by permission: Dave Granlund, Politicalcartoons.com

That was until last night when “Number 45” gave a speech to the joint session of Congress and actually acted presidential.  Did you watch it?  He was (for the most part) positive in tone and he didn’t talk about his poll numbers or his enemies, the Media.  Today, 76% of those polled approve of his speech and feel like maybe they can relax and everything will be just fine.

Alien brothers and sisters, this is where the slip-and-slide into Hell begins.

My peeps from another solar system, Trump was reading a practiced speech (he was seen going over it in the back of his limo) from a teleprompter that multiple speech writers had written.  Don’t be fooled by it.  Don’t listen to what he says—watch what he does to know where we’re headed as a country.  Don’t be fooled by his calm manner—his actions for the past 41 days do not support what you saw.

Also, dear aliens, check out the creatures who surround him and whisper in his ear—day in and day out.  The Alt-Right, anti-Semitic slug, Steve Bannon’s actions belie Trump’s speech before Congress regarding his sudden concern about the rise of anti-Semitism and hate crimes in America. 

bannon-the-jabba-david-fitzsimmons-the-arizona-star

Cartoon used by permission: David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star

I will stay on Earth as long as I can to sting and agitate “Number 45” as often as I must in order to get my fellow Americans to wake up and resist this creature who should never have become our president.  In the meantime, Dear Aliens, it would be best if you not send representatives to the United States (or anywhere else on our warring planet) in the immediate future because we are pretty fucked up as a species, and our leader just might gather you up and deport you to Mexico.

Until our next communication,

Signed:  ET, the Bee!

new-planets-nate-beeler-the-columbus-dispatch

Cartoon used by permission: Nate Beeler, The Columbus Dispatch

***

ELEANOR’S SELAH (“AHA” MOMENT) ABOUT TRUMP’S QUASI STATE OF UNION SPEECH

I am discovering that we Americans are being lulled to sleep—like lobsters in a kettle who get used to tepid water turning into a boiling death.  One minute they’re moving around in their watery grave—high-fiving one another—the next minute they are dinner.

AMERICA, LISTEN TO ME:  “Number 45” is an actor—a reality TV star.  He holds a Screen Actor’s Guild membership card.  There was no there, there during the “State of the Union” speech.  He was “playing” normalYou saw a performance artist act as the president of the United States during the quasi State of the Union.  If you mistake that show as reality, you’ll be purchasing a one-way ticket to Trappist 1 System along with my fictional character by the time Trump’s term is over because you won’t recognize our country.   We will not be great, we’ll be 1984 part deux.

Oh, and as to the shameless and deplorable way he exploited the widow of Navy SEAL William “Ryan” Owens, which so many pundits are applauding, this is how you know what kind of human we’re dealing with here: Trump used this woman’s grief to cover up the fact that he ordered a military operation that failed and is being challenged by many—including Owens’ father who refused to meet with Trump when his son’s body was returned to the States.  The buck stops at the President’s desk as Harry Truman once said, but Trump has blamed the failure of the raid on Obama (“Obama planned it before he left, I just followed his lead”) and the military (“they lost Ryan, not me”) while waving the incense thurible of a widow’s broken-hearted tears to cloud our minds and make us forget his culpability as Commander in Chief.   The only time Trump veered off script and spoke in his “own words” which showed his true colors—his penchant for applause and adulation—was when he made that cringe-worthy statement to Owens’ widow as she sobbed while looking up to the heavens.  “Ryan is looking down right now, you know that, and he’s very happy, because I think he just broke a record,” said our very manipulative and cynical president.  (I assume “Number 45” meant Owens broke a record of applause for someone at a State of the Union address.)  Yeah, that’s just what Navy SEAL Owens was thinking as he looked in from the Great Beyond at his beautiful broken family:  “Shit, my applause lasted longer than Spencer Stone of Sacramento, California (staff sergeant in the US Army who helped stop a terrorist attack on a train in Europe) at last year’s State of the Union with President Obama.  Hot damn that certainly was worth getting killed for and destroying my family in the process.”

“We are one people, with one destiny… The time for small thinking is over. The time for trivial fights is behind us. We just need the courage to share the dreams that fill our hearts.”  This was one of the more poetic phrases in Trump’s speech that I would love to embrace.  I suppose that means no more nasty tweets against Saturday Night Live, Meryl Streep, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, or against anybody who doesn’t like him, or against any journalist who is getting too close to his relationship with his boyfriend, Vlad.  If “Number 45” will stop tweeting vicious, petulant messages, maybe I’ll start to believe his beautiful, scripted words, but until then…

state-of-union-david-fitzsimmons-the-arizona-star

Cartoon used by permission: David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star

 

***

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTE

“This speech [Trump’s address to Congress] will get very positive reviews. But remember—government isn’t a speech [emphasis=mine]. Today, before this speech, with little fanfare, Trump signed into law an NRA-backed bill that will allow more mentally ill people to buy guns. And remember, there is still Russia. That is not going and cannot go away.”– Michael Tomasky, The Daily Beast/ Donald Trump Finally Sounds Presidential. For 60 Minutes

***

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR?  Check out www.eleanortomczyk.com

WANT TO READ THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOKS?  Monsters’ Throwdown and Fleeing Oz are both on sale at Amazon (Paperback and Kindle).

MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT: THIRD BOOK FROM AUTHOR DUE OUT IN APRIL 2017!  WATCH THIS BLOG SPACE.

***

REFERENCES

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/post-partisan/wp/2017/02/28/any-minute-now-trump-will-ruin-the-good-impression-he-just-made/?hpid=hp_no-name_opinion-card-a%3Ahomepage%2Fstory

http://www.salon.com/2017/03/01/mr-trump-visits-the-capitol-same-old-lies-in-a-terrifying-new-context/

http://www.politico.com/story/2017/02/donald-trump-congress-speech-235547

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/plum-line/wp/2017/03/01/the-pundits-are-wrong-trumps-handling-of-the-ryan-owens-affair-was-contemptibly-cynical/?tid=pm_pop

http://www.cnn.com/2017/02/22/world/new-exoplanets-discovery-nasa/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/right-turn/wp/2017/02/24/bannon-and-trump-are-out-for-revenge/?hpid=hp_no-name_opinion-card-c%3Ahomepage%2Fstory

http://www.salon.com/2017/02/24/steve-bannon-says-trumps-cabinet-of-billionaires-is-selected-for-a-reason-deconstruction/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/bannons-dangerous-deconstruction/2017/02/26/0d1aab0e-fad2-11e6-be05-1a3817ac21a5_story.html?hpid=hp_no-name_opinion-card-f%3Ahomepage%2Fstory

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
10 Comments

Posted by on March 1, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , ,

PRESIDENT OBAMA: I’M GONNA MISS YOU!

Do you know what I’ve discovered? I can’t believe I’m not living in a nightmare. I woke up this morning to our President-elect in an ongoing twitter war with the CIA (Oh, my God, has this man lost his mind?!), Saturday Night Live, and Rep. John Lewis (a civil rights icon)—all in the last forty-eight hours. Shoot me now!

where-is-trump-ii-bob-englehart-caglecartoons-com

Cartoon used by permission: Bob Englehart, CagleCartoons.com

Of course, it hasn’t helped Trump’s case that I’ve been watching all the emotional farewell rounds of the Obamas on TV—from Oprah to Jimmy Fallon to 60 Minutes to President Obama’s good-bye speech. Not to mention the surprise honor that President Obama bestowed upon Vice President Biden that made us all lose our composure. Their friendship is enviable.  I’ve also been crying for days because I realized that a grown-up will be turning over the keys to the kingdom on January 20th to a petulant child who doesn’t read, loves grabbing “kittens,” and gives credibility to bullies as his friends.

The juxtaposition of President Obama and Trump couldn’t be more black and white.   One is the embodiment of Martin Luther King’s “I have a dream,” and the other is a Central Casting character of my worst nightmare. On top of everything, Trump hasn’t acknowledged Martin Luther King Day as most Presidents have in the past, and as of this posting, has cancelled his trip to tour the new African-American Museum on Monday where he could actually learn why going after Congressman John Lewis was a big mistake—huge!  Maybe his actions will change, but as of this posting, he’s acting anything but presidential.

The Bible says that “we are surrounded by a great cloud of witnesses . . .” If that is so, it seems as if that cloud is watching the “big game” in another galaxy because right about now, the baton is being passed from someone who I consider will go down in history as one of our greatest presidents (who did seem to have a heavenly cheering squad while in office) to someone who historians will label as the worst of the worst as presidents go.

obama-made-history-nate-beeler-the-columbus-dispatch

Cartoon used by permission: Nate Beeler, The Columbus Dispatch

As I fretted over all this, I feel asleep on the keyboard of my computer, and I dreamt . . . In my dream, I sent an email to heaven in search of Dr. King. Perhaps he could ease my aching heart.

***

martinlutherkingjr@magnificentheaven.com  

DEAR DR. KING:

First of all, happy birthday, Sir! We sure do miss you down here. There is so much more of your legacy that needs to be fleshed out.  Had you lived, you’d be 87 years old, and if you had lived this long, you would surely have had a heart attack today. Oh, not that things haven’t gotten a helluva (can I say that?) lot better than when you were in our midst, but we still have a long way to go. Don’t know if you’ve been watching, but we are about to say good-bye to your dream, Dr. King: a Black man and his family whose character is beyond reproach. A Black man who won not just one term but TWO terms as President of the United States. Bet you didn’t see that coming?

2nd-term-christopher-weyant-the-hill

Cartoon used by permission: Christopher Weyant, The Hill

Dr. King, not only was this our first Black president, but he had the nerve to be named Barack Hussein Obama. I’d have to say that God has a fabulous sense of humor—the two of you must still be cracking up over that one. Anyway, tell God that he sent us a really good guy to be our leader eight years ago. Although he was treated with the worst disdain, racism, and obstructionism of any president we’ve ever had, President Obama had the character that you said we all should be judged by. When the haters went low, he and his wife went high. It was a marvel to behold. No preacher that I’ve ever known or who has ever criticized Barack Obama’s Christian faith has ever modeled this type of Christlike behavior towards his haters as has our departing President. The President-Elect (you may know him as “Trump the Tweeter”) led the so-called birther movement against your man for years trying to delegitimize his presidency and quite a few people believed him.

repubs-dont-know-obama-is-christian-rj-matson-caglecartoons-com

Cartoon used by permission: RJ Matson, CagleCartoons.com

You probably already know this as part of that great cloud of witnesses that watch over us, but in spite of the fact that the GOP leaders made a concerted, coordinated effort to thwart Barack Obama’s every move and make him a one-term president, he still did an outstanding job. According to the Washington Monthly, he . . .

Rescued the Economy, Passed Wall Street Reform, Negotiated a Deal to Block A Nuclear Iran, Secured U.S. Commitment to a Global Agreement on Climate Change,

Eliminated Osama bin Laden

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Cartoon used by permission: Cardow, The Ottawa Citizen

Ended U.S. Combat Missions in Iraq and Afghanistan, Turned Around the U.S. Auto Industry, Repealed “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,’’ Supported Federal Recognition of Same-Sex Marriages, Reversed Bush Torture Policies, Established Rules to Limit Carbon Emissions from Power Plants, Normalized Relations with Cuba, Protected DREAMers from Deportation

Passed Health Care Reform

obamacare-victory-paresh-nath-the-khaleej-times-uae

Cartoon used by permission: Paresh Nath, The Khaleej, Times UAE

Kicked Banks Out of Federal Student Loan Program, Expanded Pell Grant Funding, Appointed first Latina Judge, Diversified the Federal Bureaucracy, Passed Fair Sentencing Act, Revived the Department of Justice’s Civil Rights Division, Reduced the Threat from Nuclear Weapons, Cut the Deficit, Strengthened Women’s Right to Fair Pay, Expanded Health Coverage for Children

Just to name a few . . . And yet the dude who will take President Obama’s place on January 20th and his GOP cronies are doing everything in their power to turn back any good he might have done.

creatures-from-the-swamp-wolverton-cagle-cartoons

Cartoon used by permission: Wolverton, Cagle Cartoons

But I will not dwell on the negative. This week as the orange Twitter King takes the throne, I will think on all that is good and lovely about President and Mrs. Obama. How their legacy to us is not only Barack’s intelligent, patient, strong leadership, but Michelle’s intelligent, witty, inclusive, and beautiful spirit as FLOTUS. I will celebrate Barack’s stellar character as a husband and father and Michelle’s indomitable strength as a woman, wife, and mother—much assailed by her haters who always “went high when they went low.” I will always remember and celebrate President Obama’s legacy as “Comforter in Chief”—his amazing grace at Sandy Hook, Charleston, and Orlando.

Most of all, I will remember his legacy of HOPE—the “audacity of hope!” The other day, my eight-year-old grandson was asked by his mother where he would like to go to college when he grows up. He said: “Probably Harvard or MIT.” (I had no idea Harvard or MIT existed until I was in college—it certainly never crossed my mind that I could ever aspire to matriculate there.)  His mother replied: “Oh, like Barack Obama. Do you want to be President when you grow up?” My little African-American grandson who has never known any other President in his short life responded—without hesitation: “Sure, why not?”

Dr. King, I want to thank you for paving the way for Barack Hussein Obama to become our president with your own life and sacrifices. You’ll be happy to know that on top of all that President Obama did for our nation is the icing on the cake that his two-term administration was without a trace of scandal because of his stellar character.

By the way, the next time you bump into Jesus, would you please ask him what his strategy is for our country with this new turn of events regarding the orange king with the Putin fetish? Most of us are a tad bit hysterical with fear and trepidation for the future. We could use a little touch from God right about now. Take care, and Happy Birthday, Dr. King!

obama-farewell-ii-fb-plus-pat-bagley-salt-lake-tribune

Cartoon used by permission: Wolverton, Cagle Cartoons

***

ELEANOR’S SELAH (“AHA” MOMENT) ABOUT PRESIDENT OBAMA

I am discovering that what I want to broadcast to the world is: Thank you, President Obama. You have changed our nation—for the better—forever!  Then I want to get on a plane on Friday in the wee hours of the morning of Trump’s inauguration and fly to another country before I have to witness the ceremony of the abomination that is to come. I think I’ll go down to Mexico (my bags are already packed), drown my sorrows in copious margaritas with my wonderful husband, get a couple massages, and return sometime next week when all is said and done with “he, who shall not be named” moving into the White House. (I promise to slip back into the country before President-Elect Trump erects the wall between Mexico and the United States.) But even if he manages not to fuck up his first term in office (only one term, God, please—if you love us!), he’s still no Barack Obama and never will be!

president-mic-drop-rj-matson-roll-call

Cartoon used by permission: RJ Matson, Roll Call

***

INSPIRATIONAL KING/OBAMA QUOTES

“The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.”—Martin Luther King, Jr II

“If we are willing to work for it, and fight for it, and believe in it, then I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless; this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal; this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on Earth. This was the moment – this was the time – when we came together to remake this great nation so that it may always reflect our very best selves, and our highest ideals.”—Barack Obama (after winning Democratic primary in 2008)

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.”—President Obama

“The future rewards those who press on. I don’t have time to feel sorry for myself. I don’t have time to complain. I’m going to press on.”—President Obama

“But laws alone won’t be enough. Hearts must change. It won’t change overnight. Social attitudes oftentimes take generations to change. But if our democracy is to work the way it should in this increasingly diverse nation, then each one of us need to try to heed the advice of a great character in American fiction, Atticus Finch, who said “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”—President Obama’s Farewell

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR? Check out www.eleanortomczyk.com

WANT TO READ THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOKS? Monsters’ Throwdown and Fleeing Oz are both on sale at Amazon (Paperback and Kindle)

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
7 Comments

Posted by on January 16, 2017 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , ,

I’M OUTTA HERE: SIGNED 2016

Do you know what I discovered this week? Another year is approaching and it’s time for me to skedaddle (isn’t that a fun word on the tongue?)—at least for a while. My editor is in the South of France, and I promised her I would have my third book completed by the time she returns (only eight more chapters to go—hallelujah!), or she can rightfully hand me my head on a platter. Therefore, I will be stepping back from the blogosphere for a season (except to post a goodbye letter to the Obamas) to finish off my “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” trilogy and get it to the publisher in February (launch date: March 2017). In the meantime, I thought I’d post what I imagined a conversation between former years at a New Year’s Eve party would read like. I have a feeling 2016 will have a lot to say as it exits, and that 2017 will be in a state of shock at the daunting task ahead because—hang onto your hats, Bubbies—2017 is going to be a bumpy ride!

2017-hell-of-a-ride-david-fitzsimmons-the-arizona-star

Cartoon used by permission: David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star

 

(Scene opens on a standing room only party at the home of Father Time. Every year has shown up since the dawn of time, except for those ten years that I call the lost decade in my own life, and don’t nobody have time to hear about them.)

1914:     Hey 2017, how’s it hangin’? You ready for your debut? I hear you’re in for some adventures. Although it couldn’t possibly be worse than my year—the start of WWI.

1939:     Of course it could, 1914. I was worse than you. Anytime you kick off a world war which culminates in the attempted annihilation of a people group, you win the prize for “worst year ever!” And why are you asking 2017 questions? You know he can’t talk yet, nor does he have anything to say. Check in with him at the end of next year. He’ll be able to give you an earful. In case you haven’t noticed, every year has its own place in history—some worse than others—and every year, many people hope and pray the current year will end quickly.

1619-1865:   Hello! Can I get a witness here? How about slavery in these here United States of America? Our span of years go down as some nasty-ass shit.

2015:     Personally, I’m avoiding 2016 because apparently, he opened the door to Death too many times this year, and Captain Death took the souls of more than 150 celebrities. Yikes! Even took a daughter and her mother within one day of each other. Now that’s cold. You know how people, especially Americans, feel about their celebrities—their “royalty.” The country is packing 2016’s bags for him to get him going, gone, and out as fast as they can before he allows Death to snatch Betty White into Glory. The majority of Americans are talking about how much they hate 2016—the year racism, sexism, xenophobia, misogyny, and stupidity were born again. I sure wouldn’t want to be the year that killed off Princess Leia and elected Donald Trump—I’ll tell you that.

 

2016:     I heard that! Are you all talking behind my back?   I have no control over Death—you of all people know that, 1939.

1998:     No, you don’t have any control over Death, however, it is still your responsibility to try and keep him contained the best you can. If given his way, Death would kill off every living creature on the planet. That’s just his MO. Speaking of responsibility, how in the hell did you allow a much coveted Christmas toy (the Hatchimals) to not do the thing they were supposed to do to entertain little kids—hatch on Christmas day? Do you know how much this Christmas toy insanity cost? I heard that two sets of seven Hatchimals (14 toys total) were selling for $20,000 on the Black Market. Don’t know if it’s true or not (those stories could have been fake news), but parents were camping outside of stores, driving across state lines, taking out second mortgages, and paying whatever was necessary to get these toys for their kids. But now the big scandal is that some of the toys are not hatching no matter how much you tap and rub them. You are so screwed, 2016! All the children in Aleppo can be buried alive by Russian and Syrian bombs, and Americans will hardly blink an eye, but let their kids’ toys fail to perform on Christmas day, and they will cut a bitch.

4BC:       Eiyie-yiee-yi! What’s all this stupidity about a toy? All I remember the Christ child getting for his birthday was gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Remember him? Whose birthday are we celebrating on Christmas anyway? Hope came to a fucked up world. Can we all say amen?

1998:     4BC, you ain’t even heard the best yet: the hatchimals that did hatch allegedly swear. While they are sleeping, they allegedly say: “Fuck me . . .” which would be apropos considering the type of world they are hatching into. (Personally, I think they’re saying: “Hug me,” but then who’s to know since I’m never going to pay that kind of money just to prove a point for a foolish toy that will be forgotten about in two months or so.)

hatchimals-hatchimals-dot-com

Hatchimal: Courtesy of http://www.hatchimals.com

 

2016:     All you years act like you’re all that and a bag of chips. There has never been a year in history that was totally fantastic—ever.

2013:     Me, me, me, me! I was. You can read about it in Think Progress. The writer, Zack Beauchamp says that by the time my year came to a close, people lived longer, fewer suffered from extreme poverty, war was rarer and less deadly than years before, violent crime was in freefall, and there was less racism, sexism, and other forms of discrimination in the world as was proven by the two-term election of our first Black president (I added that last part). Although he did have a caveat: we needed to build on that momentum in the years following me or we could slip backwards.

1924:     And then along came Trump . . . Looks like Mr. Beauchamp is going to have to rewrite his assessment, because 2017 is going to be something else. Ever since I gave the world Stalin, I’ve been keeping an eye on Russia. Imagine my surprise to see the budding bromance of Trump and Putin. Nothing good can come of this—mark my words. Putin is a nasty son-of-a-bitch. A chip off the old Stalin block. What a scandal, 2016!

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Putin/Trump Bromance Meme: Courtesy of sizzle.com

 

2016:     Once again, not my fault. I was given a year to “carry” history—not create it or mess with it. I don’t have any power. The power is all in the hands of the humans who exist within my timeframe.

1945:     2016 is correct. We are nothing but conduits. I was given the burden of having the atomic bomb dropped during my reign. Try bearing the burden of that through all these years.

2016:     At least that put an end to the war. It gave 1946 a chance to have a different history.

1946:     You are such an idiot. Do you have any idea how horrific recovery was for the entire planet after WWII? And now on 2016’s watch nativism, nationalism, racism, sexism, and every other kind of “ism” are expanding all over the world (it’s déjà vu all over again) which is cultivating the fertile soil for WWIII. Enjoy your short-lived fame 2013 as being the year mayhem, chaos, and murder decreased because America now has a leader who thinks everyone should have nuclear weapons and he’s going to make sure we get our share during his reign of 2017 and counting. 2017—you poor schmuck. My heart goes out to you.

2017-happy-nuke-year-john-cole-the-scranton-times-tribune

Cartoon used by permission: John Cole, The Scranton Times-Tribune

 

2017:     ERUGH-A-SCREM-HEP-ME JESSS, HEP ME!

2016:     What’s he saying? I don’t understand a word of what he’s screaming. Do you?

1939:     You know he doesn’t have a voice yet. A year doesn’t get its voice until he’s about to hand over the baton to the next year. He’s screaming in baby-talk: “HELP ME, JESUS, HELP, HELP ME, JESUS!”

2017-huge-year-dave-granlund-politicalcartoons-com

Cartoon used by permission: Dave Granlund, Politicalcartoons.com

 

***

ELEANOR’S SELAH ABOUT 2017 (“AHA” MOMENT)

I am discovering that I can either fear the future or look forward to it. Even though I suspect 2017 is going to be a rough year all over the world, I have decided to look forward to the future because of our children. UNICEF estimates that 353,000 babies are born each day around the world. If they can survive, they really are our future. Somewhere among the booger-eating urchins who just entered the third grade, the pooping and farting toddlers born several years ago, and the clueless newborns of 2016 living in squalor, there are future presidents, kings and queens, scientists, teachers, doctors, mathematicians, writers, poets, actors, activists, conservationists, and religious leaders who will course-correct the ship (the future of our planet) that has been so badly steered off-course by the adults of our world in 2016. Trump, Assad, Putin, ISIS, Alt-right, White supremacists, misguided religious leaders, and all the rest have one thing in common when it comes to their existence: their time is limited and a new year is dawning with a new generation of hope.

HAPPY NEW YEAR! See you in a couple months with the announcement of the launch of my third book! Wish me luck!

2016-death-rick-mckee-the-augusta-chronicle

Cartoon used by permission: Rick McKee, The Augusta Chronicle

 

INSPIRATIONAL QUOTES ABOUT THE FUTURE

“Infuse your life with action. Don’t wait for it to happen. Make it happen. Make your own future. Make your own hope. Make your own love. And whatever your beliefs, honor your creator, not by passively waiting for grace to come down from upon high, but by doing what you can to make grace happen… yourself, right now, right down here on Earth.”—Bradley Whitford

“Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.”—Thich Nhat Hanh

“Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future.”—John F. Kennedy

“Only mothers can think of the future—because they give birth to it in their children.”—Maxim Gorky

***

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR? Check out www.eleanortomczyk.com

WANT TO READ THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOKS? Monsters’ Throwdown and Fleeing Oz are both on sale at Amazon (Paperback and Kindle). Third book of this trilogy to launch in March 2017.

***

REFERENCES

https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/12/30/2016-is-over-and-were-no-better-morally-than-we-were-100-years-ago/?hpid=hp_regional-hp-cards_rhp-card-posteverything%3Ahomepage%2Fcard

http://www.cnn.com/2016/12/16/world/2016-look-back-trnd/index.html

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/if-theres-no-two-state-solution-what-will-israel-become/2016/12/29/cb322862-ce0c-11e6-b8a2-8c2a61b0436f_story.html?tid=pm_opinions_pop

http://abc7ny.com/news/parents-complain-that-hatchimals-are-not-hatching/1676845/

http://time.com/money/4577339/hatchimals-holiday-toy-2016/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/12/29/stop-saying-that-2016-was-the-worst-year/?hpid=hp_no-name_opinion-card-c%3Ahomepage%2Fstory

fb-trump-ny-resolutions-dave-granlund-politicalcartoons-com

Cartoon used by permission: Dave Granlund, Politicalcartoons.com

 

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
20 Comments

Posted by on December 30, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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