30 Oct

DEAR READERS:  Have you been in touch with God, lately?  I’ve left him a gazillion messages and haven’t heard a peep.  Just wanted to let him know that our world really needs him right now.  Also, if you do happen to chat with him, let him know that I’m trying to decide what costume to wear for Halloween, and I’d like to ask him to turn the tide in the election next week to curtail the Hater in Chief in the White House.   Let God know when you hear from him that he’ll (or she’ll) find my copious other “prayer” messages filed under: “Are you Listening (or paying attention) God?”  For your edification Dear Reader, what follows is the fourth installment of a “Voicemail Message to God” which is a short essay on another universal question I wish God would answer about life: “God, what is your end game?”

Scary Times John Darkow Columbia Missourian

Cartoon used by permission: John Darkow, Columbia Missourian

GOD’S VOICEMAIL GREETING:  “You’ve reached the voicemail box of GOD at 1-800-PRA-TOME.  As you might have guessed, if this call is from the United States, I’m sitting Shiva.  I will not be answering phone calls about anything first-world related while I’m in mourning with the city of Pittsburgh.  AMERICANS:  YOU WANT TO SAVE YOUR NATION:  GO OUT AND VOTE ON NOVEMBER 6TH!  DON’T BLOW IT AGAIN. I WON’T DO FOR YOU WHAT YOU REFUSE TO DO FOR YOURSELVES. Please leave a message after the tone.”


Hello GOD:  It’s Eleanor—again!  I don’t mean to become a pest, but I’ve been trying to get you to call me back for ages now.  I certainly understand why you are out-of-reach at the moment, but that is kind of what I wanted to talk to you about.

It’s getting scarier and scarier out here.  Halloween is here and who wants to wear a scary costume these days when our very own Victor Frankenstein in the White House has cooked up a Molotov cocktail of hated and division that is roaming our country seeking whom it may devour.

Hate It is Alive Rick McKee The Augusta Chronicle GA

Cartoon used by permission: Rick McKee, The Augusta Chronicle, GA

God, I don’t mean to tell you how to do your job, but you know the massacre in Pittsburgh could have all been prevented, don’t you?  You wouldn’t have to be sitting Shiva for the massacre at the Tree of Life Synagogue Congregation had you listened to my prayers.  Eleven people would still be alive and we’d have a lot more hope in our hearts if you had acknowledged my hysteria over the tiki-torch waving, khaki-trouser wearing White men in Charlottesville last year.  Remember in 2017 when the White supremacists hoisted the Nazi flags in Charlottesville as they marched around the Confederate statue and shouted, “Jews will not replace us?”  Instead of our Commander in Chief squishing this hateful monster like the giant demonic cockroach that it is, he said there were “good people on both sides.”  I had hoped you would have sent one of his many sycophantic Christian counselors to let him know that “good people” chanting “Jews will not replace us” is an oxymoron. Actually, I wished you had come to him in his sleep like the ghost of Bob Marley.

Venom Nate Beeler The Columbus Dispatch OH

Cartoon used by permission: Nate Beeler, The Columbus Dispatch, OH

Anyway, dear God, besides getting a little input from you as to what Halloween costume I should wear, I was hoping I could ask you a question that is bugging the hell out of me: “What is your end game for us with this science experiment of a President?”  The scariest costume of all this year is the orange pumpkin with yellow hair which espouses venom toward his opponents and the media, as the whole world watches his followers take up Trump’s call to arms against all those he hates.

Trump inspired Hate Pat Bagley The Salt Lake Tribune UT

Cartoon used by permission: Pat Bagley, The Salt Lake Tribune, UT

Lord, have mercy on us.  I guess I’d like to know how much more of this vileness we must endure before you let the Great Pumpkin in the White House know that you’re God and he ain’t.  I have a suggestion:  How about sending him a message on blast on Nov. 6th?  The world will breathe a great sigh of relief.

Vote or Die

Celebrity Voting Campaign T-Shirts

Well Jesus, I would love to get your input and guidance after November 6th because I’m either going to want to do a shout-out of praises to you or I’m going to need a strait jacket costume for Halloween and beyond.

Talk soon.  Your devoted follower, ET

Halloween Political Scares Dave Granlund PoliticalCartoons com

Cartoon used by permission: Dave Granlund,


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THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOKS:  Monsters’ Throwdown, Fleeing Oz, The Fetus Chronicles on sale now at Amazon!



Tree of Life Names Bruce Plante Tulsa World

Cartoon used by permission: Bruce Plante, Tulsa World

We also remember the two African-American victims in the recent fatal shooting at the Kroger’s in Louisville, KY which police have labeled a hate crime.

May they never be forgotten:  Maurice E. Stallard, 69, and Vickie Lee Jones, 67,


Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


Posted by on October 30, 2018 in Uncategorized


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7 responses to “SCARY TIMES

  1. aFrankAngle

    October 31, 2018 at 9:50 pm

    Here’s something that recently hit me – actually something more scary that President Trump in the Oval Office. Even if he was removed by impeachment, resignation, lost election, term-limits, or whatever why – he would be gone, but we still have a large number of Trumpians in the population.

    • etomczyk

      November 1, 2018 at 9:30 am

      Frank. So true. A similar thing hit me about three weeks ago: Trump is a manifestation of a core of voters wishes and desires. They looked in the mirror, saw Trump, and said I like what I see. Once he’s gone they will be in search of another to take his place. The sickness will continue. Our country needs a heart and mindset change which I think can only happen if we have a “come to Jesus moment” and realize we are all part of the human race and we need each other to survive.

      • aFrankAngle

        November 1, 2018 at 1:42 pm

        Unfortunately, a heart and mindset change comes through a difficult event.

      • etomczyk

        November 2, 2018 at 3:26 pm

        Frank. I, too, have come to that revelation and it scares me to death…don’t know if my 70 year old heart can take it. 😦

      • aFrankAngle

        November 2, 2018 at 4:13 pm

        Patience my friend … patience

      • Swarn Gill

        November 1, 2018 at 2:09 pm

        I think the question is, what are the real gripes of Trump voters, and can those concerns be met with a different philosophy? I feel the answer is probably no for a good 15 million of the people that voted for Trump. A small portion of the voting population perhaps, but still enough people to make a difference and to be worried about. Another question is, has the portion of the population that sees the insanity that Trump represents done all we can uniting people are have we just created further division. I worry about the latter. Trump is already a master of division and I feel like those of us who want a more civil discourse haven’t been overly civil to those we disagree with. Not to say that we don’t have good reason to be angry and confused at how someone like Trump got elected. I still shake my head sometimes and wonder how we ended up here. But unfortunately there is a rational explanation for how we got this irrational leader. The response from the rest of us, and the political left should be one of damage control, and looking at legitimate concerns of Trump voters and trying to find ways to address them. Maybe they won’t listen, but at least we can say we kept trying. Sitting back just expecting everyone to recognize the crazy and not vote for him again doesn’t seem like sound strategy.

  2. Colleen

    November 1, 2018 at 4:10 pm

    Nice work, as usual, Eleanor. I’m guessing God’s silence is a way of saying it is time for us to wake up to living good lives and standing up to hate.


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