Do you know what I discovered on my reentry into the world after a wonderful vacation? Everything has gotten so much worse in American politics during the past two weeks while I was gone! (How is that even humanly possible?) Apparently, that orange creature from the dung lagoon hired some Alt-Right Neanderthal as his campaign chief to accelerate the fertilization of the Earth with their atrocious pile of racist excrement which has sped up the growth of Trump’s anti-Christ flowering of White Supremacy, hate, and bigotry in the world. Wow, people! You were supposed to guard against this type of insurrection while I was gone.
Cartoon used by permission: Steve Sack, The Minneapolis Star-Tribune
Then I read that Trump thinks my life as an African-American is a total pile of shit as he painted an erroneously misleading picture that most Black folks live in inner cities and our lives summarily suck—across the board.
“Poverty. Rejection. Horrible education. No housing. No homes. No ownership. Crime at levels nobody has seen . . . You can go to war zones in countries that we’re fighting and it’s safer than living in some of our inner cities . . . Look, it is a disaster the way African-Americans are living. We’ll get rid of the crime. You’ll be able to walk down the street without getting shot.”—Donald J. Trump
Well, thank you Oh “Great White Hope” for that hyperbolic and extreme assessment of my peeps and me! No nuance on your part—no indication that you’ve ever spent any time in a predominantly Black community. Good to know that we no longer need Jesus because you’ll save our sorry-asses from the dystopian hell of our own making. Donald Trump—the relentless face of racist Birtherism against our outstanding first Black President went on to ask me—an African-American— “What do you have to lose?” by voting for him. My response (should only be used when one’s laughter is so uncontrollable, it makes one pee one’s pants):
(TRANSLATION: “Laughing My Ass Off Rolling On The Floor, Biting The Carpet, Scaring The Cat, Nearly Dying By Falling Out Of The Window In Front Of A Guy Who Looks Like Bill Gates, Who Then Horrified, Runs Out On The Street And Is Accidentally Killed By A Yellow Bulldozer”.
Cartoon used by permission: John Cole, The Scranton Times Tribune
Oy! It made me want to go back on vacation with my family and lose myself in wondrous bliss. While I was away, I tuned out all the news for the entire holiday and spent all of my vacation relishing in the wonderful life God had blessed me with while my grandson and I performed an old woman/seven-year-old dance routine to Meghan Trainor’s “Me Too.”
“I thank God every day
I woke up feelin’ this way
And I can’t help lovin’ myself . . .
If I was you, I’d wanna be me too . . .”
Mema and Grandson Dancing/Photo Credit: K. Tomczyk
I should have stayed on vacation with my grandson who is sweet, loving, kind, generous, thoughtful, caring, and wise beyond his years who taught me how to do the Nae-Nae and Snap Chat this year. But I didn’t and each day away from all that beautiful Christ-like innocence has made me want to stand up and holler—especially after I read recently that even after all the horrid, racist, crude, misogynist, vile things that have been revealed about Donald Trump, his Evangelical Christian support is still strong AND GROWING! Even a child can see that The Donald is an asshole—why can’t so-called Christian leaders? (Some of these “Christian” Trump supporters have declared that their fellow Christians (moi) will burn in Hell if we don’t vote for Trump.) In a dream I had last night, I sent my grandson a Snap-Chat voice message and asked him why was he so much more mature than grown-ups who claim to be leaders in the Church? He replied: “They must not have gone to school. Everything I know, I learned in kindergarten.”
When I awoke, I decided to write a kindergarten report card for Donald Trump to those Christian leaders in the hopes that they would take stock of Trump’s character before it is too late, and withdraw their support since it seems he has been unhinged since Jump Street and nothing like Jesus, whom they claim to love and worship.
Cartoon used by permission: Wolverton, Cagle Cartoons
TO THE PARENTS OF LITTLE DONNIE TRUMP
MATURITY PROGRESS REPORT
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Christian Evangelical: DONALD TRUMP’S FINAL GRADE: _F__
As you know, it has come to the end of the year, and I am afraid the kindergarten school of life will not be able to transition Little Donnie to the grown-up world of grade school. He is failing miserably on all accounts—so much so, we teachers are hard-pressed to figure out how to turn him into a decent human being. He shows signs of an entrenched narcissistic personality disorder, a lack of a moral center, a detachment from reality and the pain and suffering of anyone but himself, and a total disregard for the feelings of others. In short, Little Donnie Trump lacks the social skills needed to progress to the next level.
Although Little Donnie is flunking kindergarten civic values across the board, I felt it best only to list the most pertinent ones so as not to overwhelm you. Although we think it is probably too late, we ask that you review this limited feedback and set up a meeting with his teachers in order to discuss the further humanization of Donald John Trump so that he might someday progress to the first grade.
DOES NOT GET ALONG WITH OTHERS
- Little Donnie shows signs of being a rabid misogynist. He was over-heard in the hallway hurling insults at some of the kindergarten girls as “fat pigs, dogs, slobs, bimbos, disgusting animals, crude, rude, obnoxious and dumb,” “with blood flowing out of their whatever. . .”
- Little Donnie is mean and cantankerous. He made Little Mika Emilie Leonia Brzezinski cry the other day when he accused her of being “off the wall, a neurotic and not very bright mess!” (He really seems to have a problem with female confrontation.)
Cartoon used by permission: David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star
UNABLE TO RECOGNIZE TRUTH FROM FICTION
- Little Donnie refuses to adhere to truth. His teachers discovered last year that he had made himself the face of a racist birther movement against the first Black class president of our school. His teachers know that Little Donnie knows where President Obama was born because we did an entire school project on Hawaii two years in a row and featured all the children who had been born there: Donnie Ho, Barack Obama, and Bette Midler who Little Donnie promptly called “grotesque” before he stormed out of the classroom.
- Little Donnie thinks the Muslim, Black, and Latino kids in his class adore him. They don’t—they abhor him, except for the mentally challenged Little Omarosa and Little Ben Carson.
UNABLE TO TREAT OTHERS WITH RESPECT
- Little Donnie is a bigot and a bully
- Little Donnie is scary and out of touch with humanity. He once said to his entire class that he could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody, and he wouldn’t lose any class support.
Cartoon used by permission: John Darkow, Columbia Daily Tribune. Missouri
ELEANOR’S SELAH (“AHA” MOMENT) ON CHRISTIANS FOR TRUMP
I am discovering that I am absolutely flabbergasted and mortified at the Evangelical Christian support of Donald J. Trump for president. These dudes and dudettes have truly sold their souls to the Devil, and they have the audacity to tell me I’m gonna go to Hell if I don’t vote for Trump because it is Jesus’ will that The Donald becomes our next president. I call bullshit on that false doctrine! After Trump’s blanket, condescending statement to African-Americans this week trying to get more than 1% of us to vote for him, I have an answer for Little Donnie: “Everything—Black folks have everything to lose if we vote for you!” We’ll lose 100 plus years of ongoing progress in education, housing, and jobs, not to mention the legacy given to my grandson by President Barack Obama that currently inspires and promotes his ability and possibility (and all Black children) to become president of the United States someday.
Little Donnie, you know not what you speak or to whom you speak. Some of us Black folks may need a helping hand now and then, but we are not a stupid people. African-Americans know you are condescending to us to get the White suburban vote by attempting to make them think you’re not a racist. (Most White people aren’t stupid, either. They know you grossly exaggerated the stats regarding poverty, education, and lack of jobs in our inner cities.) Go back to Trump Tower, Little Donnie. I, on the other hand, will go back to my very nice life as an African-American, and my decision to vote for anybody else but you—come November.
Cartoon used by permission: Luojie China, Daily China
THOUGHT-PROVOKING QUOTES EXPLAINING WHY JESUS IS PROBABLY WEEPING RIGHT ABOUT NOW AT THE STUPIDITY IN SOME CHRISTIAN CIRCLES
“I realize that most of Trump’s ardent fans do not take kindly to being lectured by the likes of me. But it is with a certain degree of genuine sympathy that I say what has to be said: Your candidate is a flake. A fraud. A bag of air. A con man. A joke.” [emphasis, mine]—Eugene Robinson/The Washington Post
“He is egotistical, bombastic, and brash. He often lacks nuance in his statements. Sometimes he blurts out mistaken ideas (such as bombing the families of terrorists) that he later must abandon. He insults people. He can be vindictive when people attack him. He has been slow to disown and rebuke the wrongful words and actions of some angry fringe supporters. He has been married three times and claims to have been unfaithful in his marriages. These are certainly flaws, but I don’t think they are disqualifying flaws in this election.”—Wayne A. Grudem/prominent evangelical theologian, seminary professor, and author
“Mr. Trump’s Twitter presence is tightly interwoven with hordes of mostly anonymous accounts trafficking in racist and anti-Semitic attacks. When Little Bird, a social media data mining company, analyzed a week of Mr. Trump’s Twitter activity, it found that almost 30 percent of the accounts Mr. Trump retweeted in turn followed one or more of 50 popular self-identified white nationalist accounts. At times, a circular current seems to flow between white nationalists and Mr. Trump on Twitter.”—Nicholas Confessore/NYTimes
Cartoon used by permission: Steve Sack, The Minneapolis Star-Tribune
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