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THE PALIN (“Nevermore”)

25 Jan

A cynical poem, ripped off, truncated, and bastardized (as only this blogger can do) from the illustrious Edgar Allan Poe’s narrative poem “The Raven”—first published in 1845.

Palin and Trump I David Fitzsimmons The Arizona Star

Cartoon used by permission:  David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star/Cagle Cartoons

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,

O’er GOP’S death to civil right’s lore—

    While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of someone caustically rapping, flapping at my chamber door.

“’Tis some sweet, dear friend,” I muttered, “banging at my chamber door—

            Only this and nothing more.”

January 22, 2016

January 22, 2016

Cartoon used by permission:  Adam Zyglis, The Buffalo News/Cagle Cartoons 

    Ah, distinctly I remember it was one month after December;

And each dying ember wrought a GOP politician crashing to the floor.

    Eagerly I wished to borrow—vainly from my hope for tomorrow

    Because of the past few months of sorrow—sorrow for America’s GOP horror—

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named “U.S. of Merkica”—

            Nameless here for evermore.

Steve Sack The Minneapolis Star Tribune

Cartoon used by permission:  Steve Sack The Minneapolis Star-Tribune/Cagle Cartoons

    And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain

Thrilled me—filled me with political terrors never felt before;

    So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating

    “’Tis a visitor of hope maybe entreating entrance at my chamber door—

Some late person of intelligence entreating entrance on the GOP political floor;—

            THIS IT IS and nothing more.”

    Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;

    But the fact is I was napping, and so raucaously you came rapping,

    And so cacaphonously you came screeching, rapping at my chamber door,

That I know even Russia heard you”—here I opened wide the door;—

            But saw vapidness there and nothing more.

Sarah Palin I Nate Beeler The Columbus Dispatch

Cartoon used by permission:  Nate Beeler, The Columbus Dispatch/Cagle Cartoons 

    Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,

Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;

    But the screeching was unbroken, and the craziness gave no token,

    And the only words there spoken were the shouted words: “I’M HERE, YOU LIBERAL WHORES!!”

Then I screamed, and an echo murmured forth the words, “OH SHIT! THE BITCH IS BACK!”—

            Said I merely this—and nothing more.

Sarah and Trump II John Darkow Columbia Daily Tribune Missouri

Cartoon used by permission:  John Darkow, Columbia Daily Tribune, Missouri/Cagle Cartoons

    Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,

In there stepped a crazy maven of the nutty days of yore;

    Not the least obeisance made she; not a minute stopped or stayed she;

    But, with stupid mien of religious crazy, perched above my chamber door—

Perched upon a bust of Obama just above my chamber door—

            Perched, and shat, and nothing more.

    Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so grossly,

Though its answers little meaning—little relevancy bore;

    For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being

    Ever was soooo stupid perched upon my chamber door—

Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above perched this scary sore,

            With such a nickname as “Trump’s New Boor.”

Palin support John Cole The Scranton Times Tribune

Cartoon used by permission:  John Cole, The Scranton Times Tribune/Cagle Cartoons

    But the Raven (Sarah Palin), standing alongside Herr Trump, spoke much

Gibber-jabber, as if her soul in those words she did outpour:

*“How ’bout the rest of us? Right-wingin’, bitter clingin’, proud clingers of our guns, our God, and our religions, and our Constitution. Tell us that we’re not red enough? Yeah, coming from the establishment. Right.”

*“Well, and then, funny, ha ha, not funny, but now, what they’re doing is wailing, ‘Well, Trump and his, uh, uh, uh, Trumpeters, they’re not conservative enough.’ ”

*“And he, who would negotiate deals, kind of with the skills of a community organizer maybe organizing a neighborhood tea, well, he deciding that, ‘No, America would apologize as part of the deal,’ as the enemy sends a message to the rest of the world that they capture and we kowtow, and we apologize, and then, we bend over and say, ‘Thank you, enemy.’ ”

*“He is from the private sector, not a politician. Can I get a ‘Hallelujah!’ ”

    Nothing sensical did she utter—not a brain cell did she flutter—

    Till I scarcely more than muttered, “WHAT THE FUCK DID TRUMP DEPLOY?—

On the morrow SP must leave us, as my Hopes have flown before.”

            Then the bird said, “Drill, Baby, Drill; bitch—going nowhere, nevermore.”

Palin Speak Steve Sack The Minneapolis Star Tribune

Cartoon used by permission:  Steve Sack The Minneapolis Star-Tribune/Cagle Cartoons

       Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer

Swung by demons whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.

    “Wretch,” I cried, “Satan hath sent thee—by his demons he hath lent thee

    Old man McCain unleashed thee 2008 of yester yore;

Curse him, curse him—go back to Alaska and return no more!”

Screamed I, in hysteria:  “BEGONE, DEMON—FOREVERMORE!”

    “Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting—

“Get thee back into the tempest and the night’s Alaskan shore!

    Leave no black plume as a token of the lies thy soul hath spoken!

    Leave our 2016 unbroken!—quit the bust above my door!

Take thy beak from U.S. ‘Merika’s heart, and take thy form from off my door!”

            Screamed my soul, “FOREVERMORE.”

Sarah and Trump Milt Priggee www miltpriggee com

Cartoon used by permission:  Milt Priggee, www.miltpriggee.com /Cagle Cartoons

    And The Palin, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the bust of the Prez just above my chamber door;

    And her eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,

    And the lamp-light o’er her streaming throws her shadow on the floor;

And my soul from out the shadow that lies floating on the floor

            Is in mourning for my country, and its future

‘Til this trumpet vanishes with her Trumpee—

out the door,

FOR-EV-ER-MOOOOORE!

Trump Mouth Taylor Jones Politicalcartoons com

Cartoon used by permission:  Taylor Jones Politicalcartoons.com/Cagle Cartoons 

*All actual Sarah Palin quotes, which were uttered (word for word) by her when she endorsed Trump for president in Iowa.  Be afraid . . . be very afraid, and WAKE UP AMERICA!  Any candidate who welcome’s Sarah Palin’s endorsement and allegedly proposes to give her a position in his cabinet must be looney tunes. 

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR?  Check out www.eleanortomczyk.com

WANT TO READ THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOKS (Monsters’ Throwdown and Fleeing Oz)?  ON SALE NOW AT AMAZON!

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
14 Comments

Posted by on January 25, 2016 in Uncategorized

 

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14 responses to “THE PALIN (“Nevermore”)

  1. silentlyheardonce

    January 25, 2016 at 8:50 pm

    What strange bed fellows or not.

     
  2. becomingcliche

    January 25, 2016 at 8:58 pm

    There are no words, Eleanor. You have outdone yourself.

     
  3. calvin

    January 25, 2016 at 9:28 pm

    ‘Til this trumpet vanishes with her Trumpee—

    out the door,

    FOR-EV-ER-MOOOOORE!

    Well done ‘E’. I loved it and seldom do I throw down the ‘L’ word loosely.

    This gave me Chills. No really. I fear for you guys yonder over the invisible fence that separates us on the continent we share. Poe Poe pitiful y’all. Am not sure when it happen, though the likes of Phphphphphpalin and Tratratratratratrump (there I said their names) solidifies a revolving thought I have from time to time, yet keeping to myself so as not to offend. That the United States of America has become a safe haven for stupid ‘shtufffs’. I fall short of saying ‘stupid’ people, as the fore mentioned are not stupid by no means. But their words and kindergarten antics insult the intelligence of millions not just in your country but abroad. The horror, the horror if this nightmare comes true. On the upside being kind as we are to the less fortunate, am sure we’ll accept the hoards doing the mad dash across the border seeking asylum from Dumbass and Dumberstill .

     
    • etomczyk

      January 29, 2016 at 8:54 pm

      Thanks Calvin. I know this is high praise from you, and I truly appreciate it! You joke about the hoards coming over the border to you, but I’ve lost count of the people who have told me they are moving to Canada if Trump wins the nomination with Palin in his cabinet. Lawd have mercy!

       
  4. aFrankAngle

    January 25, 2016 at 9:40 pm

    As your political psychologist, oh how I’ve failed my patient.

     
    • etomczyk

      January 29, 2016 at 8:56 pm

      Frank, it would have been a disservice to mankind for me not to have commented on the reentry of Palin. What kind of humorist would I be not to have taken up the charge? I promise not to abuse the privilege. 🙂

       
      • aFrankAngle

        January 30, 2016 at 6:40 am

        Your my prime patient … and I have failed … Checking into Off to check-in at the Clinic for Failed Political Psychologists.

         
  5. Ann Gaudreaux

    January 25, 2016 at 9:46 pm

    Thanks for this. Loved the final cartoon as well. The Palin is like the return of a cancer after one thought it had gone into permanent remission. God help us all. Ann

    Sent from my iPad

    >

     
  6. 1jaded1

    January 25, 2016 at 10:17 pm

    So scarnny. The jack in the box and the last comic will keep me up at night. We are in trouble.

     
  7. eurobrat

    January 25, 2016 at 11:10 pm

    That…is beautiful *sniffle* And yeah, Sarah…what is there to say? I’m glad at least it gave Tina Fey an excuse to come back?

     
  8. valentinelogar

    January 28, 2016 at 7:09 am

    I wept through my tears. We are doomed to ongoing ignorance and no it is not bliss.

     
    • etomczyk

      January 29, 2016 at 8:57 pm

      Val, I am weeping with you. . .

       
  9. Lorna's Voice

    January 28, 2016 at 11:32 pm

    The best thing about this whole nightmare? Tina Fey back on SNL doing her dead-on impersonation of word-slurpee queen’s performance. You betcha!

     
  10. imagesbytdashfield

    January 30, 2016 at 8:37 pm

    Quote the raven – what the hell for???? If these cartoons scare the heck out of me then the reality they are based upon borders on heart stopping. 2016 – be afraid be very afraid!

     

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