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CAN YOU IMAGINE 2016?

31 Dec

Do you know what I discovered today?  It is the last day of 2015, and boy-oh-boy am I glad 2015 is coming to an end, even though it means I’m closer to death’s door now that I am in the last quarter of my life.  2015 has been such a mess that I can’t help but fear it will hijack 2016 and really create even more havoc than we’ve seen heretofore.

Radicalized 2015 Rick McKee The Augusta Chronicle

Cartoon used by permission: Rick McKee, The Augusta Chronicle/Cagle Cartoons

2016 is going to be an “anything can happen” New Year—I can feel it.  Since I like to be in control at all times, I wish I could get some answers from somebody who knows what’s going on to see if 2016 is going to give me a heart attack or not—thus making 2016 the year I kick the bucket from sheer terror or outright heartbreak.  But God is not answering.  I don’t know why—I certainly nag him enough about everything from here to Zanzibar. My prayers have fallen into one word panic attacks:  God, “Help . . . “See” . . . “Stop” . . . “Destroy” . . . “Rescue” . . . “DO” . . . “SOMETHING!”

Since God isn’t speaking to anyone I trust, I’ve been thinking about visiting a fortune teller to get some answers, so I ran it past my husband (WW—“White and Wonderful”) because he’s the smartest human I know, and I can trust his input to me when I am about to do something crazy.

I came upon WW reading a copy of Time Magazine (the one with Chancellor Angela Merkel on the cover), and as we made eye contact, he said:

WW:      “Hey, Cutie.  I was just catching up on my reading.  I bet you’re glad Time didn’t put Donald Trump on the cover as 2015’s most influential person.  I don’t think your heart could have survived that.”

ME:        “That is exactly what I came here to talk over with you.  2015 almost made me lose my mind.  I want to go see a fortune teller to see what 2016 has in store so that I can handle it better.  Do you think it’s a good idea?”

fortune-teller

Used by permission: Riber Hansson, Sweden/Cagle Cartoons

WW:      “Hum . . . about as good an idea as you riding the zip line in Costa Rica a few years ago and getting stuck 200 feet above the ground over a rain forest.”

ME:        “Hey!  You did the zip line too!”

WW:      “Yeah, but I didn’t get stuck, twirl around like a leaf in a hurricane, start to scream bloody murder, and have to be rescued.”

ME:        “Well, you would have gotten stuck if you had ta-tas the size of Mount Rushmore like I do.  They never test drove that apparatus with anyone who had boobs bigger than 34As.  Anyhow, what do you think of me going to a fortune teller to get a reading on 2016.  I’d do my research and seek out the most credible fortune teller.”

WW:      “I’m pretty certain that credibility and fortune teller used in the same sentence is an oxymoron.  Besides you already know the answer:  man will continue to act the fool on Earth until it is in his best interest not to do so.  But since I’m in a cavalier mood, I’ll humor you.”

ME:  “Fabulous!  What’s your name?  You have to have a name in order for this to seem real.”

WW:  “How about “The Amazing, Outstanding, Great White Wonder”—TAOGWW for short?  Don’t give me that look; if you want me to play this game, I get to pick my name—take it or leave it.”

ME:  “How much do you charge?”

WW:  “One roll in the hay!”

ME:  “You are a riot, old man!  It’s a deal!

“Okay, TAOGWW, will Black Lives ever matter with White policemen in America?  Did you hear that the White dude who slaughtered nine Black worshippers in a Bible study in Charleston in 2015 was asked if he was hungry when they arrested him, and the policemen went to Burger King to get him dinner?  Now contrast that with twelve-year-old Tamar Rice in Cleveland—gunned down by police within twenty seconds upon their arrival on the scene for playing with a toy gun in the playground.  Can you imagine where we’d be today if the Po-Po had asked Tamar Rice if he was hungry?  Tamar would be alive, and I wouldn’t be scared shitless for the life of my grandson.  I’m one phone call away from pleading with his mother to keep our grandson locked in the house until he’s twenty-one, and then sending him to live in the Caribbean as a young man.  So I ask again, oh great one:  will Black lives ever matter in America other than as chattel of old or a prison workforce in 2016—our modern day slavery?

Police shootings I Milt Priggee www miltpriggee com

Used by permission: Milt Priggee, www.miltpriggee.com

Grandson advice Bill Day Cagle Cartoons

Used by permission: Bill Day, Cagle Cartoons

TAOGWW:  “Probably not.”

ME:  “What do you mean, probably not?”

TAOGWW:  “Time will tell.”

ME:  “This is pathetic.  (At this rate, it doesn’t look like you’re going to be knocking boots with me anytime soon, if you don’t start answering my questions, Buddy.)  Let’s try another one.  Bill Cosby just got charged with sexual assault after fifty women accused him throughout 2015 about his nasty-ass behavior against them.  Will he finally get convicted and go to jail in 2016?

TAOGWW:  “Probably not.”

ME:  “What do you mean, probably not?”

TAOGWW:  “Time will tell.”

ME:  “What kind of fortune teller are you?  You aren’t telling me what I want to hear—you aren’t telling me anything!”

TAOGWW:  “I’m telling you what you’ll be wasting your money on if you actually go to a fortune teller.  I’m telling you that if O.J. got away with killing his wife and her friend, I don’t hold out much hope that Cosby will be convicted.  He’s rich and he’s famous—need I say more?”

bill-cosby

Used by permission: David Fitzsimmons, The Arizona Star/Cagle Cartoons

ME:  “Stop it!  You’re not taking this seriously.  One more question, and you better get it right or my “honey-pot” goes on lock down.  Will Donald Trump be our next president in 2016?  You know this is one of my biggest fears.  If this happens, we’re going to have to move to Canada and take our grandson with us.”

TAOGWW:  “Probably not . . . only time will tell—specifically the morning of November 5th.”

ME:  “AUUUUUUGH!”

Trump as President John Darkow Columbia Daily Tribune Missouri

Used by permission:  John Darkow, Columbia Daily-Tribune, Missouri/Cagle Cartoons

TAOGWW:  “You’re getting the answers you’re getting because the answers lie within us as citizens and human beings—not in a crystal ball.  I tell you what, instead of spending your hard-earned money on fortune tellers who don’t know squat, how about donating some of your time and energy getting people to the polls in November to vote (especially the young and the poor), keep using your voice to unclog the ears of our cell phone, reality show addicted populace to care about more than the immediate tweet, message, or selfie, and keep sounding the alarm along with all good people across social media that things are rotten in some of our police departments and across much of our country.   In time things will change.  How’s that for fortune telling?

“So . . . do I get my payment in installments or one lump sum?”

2016 Wake up and Pay Attention Osama Hajjaj Jordan

Cartoon used by permission:  Osama Hajjaj, Jordan/Cagle Cartoons

ELEANOR’S “SELAH” (AHA) MOMENTS ABOUT 2016

I am discovering that if we don’t wake up as Americans and make some serious resolutions about how we think, what we think, and who we let influence our thinking, 2016 is going to make 2015 look like 1933 all over again—when Hitler became chancellor of Germany and a twelve-year reign of terror began.  May 2016 be the year my fellow Americans wake up and push back the tides of darkness:  politically, racially, spiritually, and educationally.  Come on, my brothers and sisters:  we can do this!  And if we do, we won’t need a fortune teller to tell us the outcome—it will be obvious, and our nation will truly be great again!

New Year's Resolution I John Darko, Columbia Daily Tribune Missouri

Cartoon used by permission: John Darko, Columbia Daily-Tribune, Missouri/Cagle Cartoons

***

MEDITATIVE QUOTES ABOUT THE NEW YEAR

 “Be at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let every New Year find you a better man.”—Benjamin Franklin

“Let our New Year’s resolution be this: we will be there for one another as fellow members of humanity, in the finest sense of the word.”—Goran Persson

“Ring out the false, ring in the true.”—Alfred Lord Tennyson

“My New Year’s Resolution List usually starts with the desire to lose between ten and three thousand pounds.”—Nia Vardalos

***

ALL QUOTES FROM www.brainyquotes.com

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE AUTHOR?  Check out www.eleanortomczyk.com

WANT TO READ THE AUTHOR’S LATEST BOOKS (Monsters’ Throwdown and Fleeing Oz)?  ON SALE NOW AT AMAZON!

REFERENCES

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/12/30/the-brave-woman-and-unlikely-heroes-who-brought-down-bill-cosby.html

http://www.snopes.com/2015/06/22/dylann-roof-burger-king/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/how-donald-trump-is-destroying-the-republican-party/2015/12/28/747668f6-ad9e-11e5-9ab0-884d1cc4b33e_story.html?hpid=hp_no-name_opinion-card-b%3Ahomepage%2Fstory

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/a-conservative-party-jeopardized-by-trump/2015/12/23/3335339c-a8e2-11e5-8058-480b572b4aae_story.html

http://www.cnn.com/2015/12/30/us/affluenza-teen-ethan-couch-detained-in-mexico/index.html

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/nora-dunn/tamir-rice-and-the-nation_b_8891018.html

http://www.cnn.com/2015/12/28/us/tamir-rice-shooting/

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
8 Comments

Posted by on December 31, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

8 responses to “CAN YOU IMAGINE 2016?

  1. becomingcliche

    December 31, 2015 at 7:17 pm

    So much truth here. I am frightened for our future as a nation.

     
  2. silentlyheardonce

    December 31, 2015 at 8:03 pm

    I do hope Trump gets bored soon but I think Cosby is being railroaded. But the gist of your post we all need to get our act together is an undisputable fact.

     
  3. calvin

    December 31, 2015 at 9:40 pm

    E! Dorado, Mucho smarts ti es.

    All anyone of us can do is not give in or give up. We want a date, a time, a year. But it does not work that way. It takes life times not prime time to fix the ills We are fixers not fixtures.

    Have good one E! Dorado.

     
  4. aFrankAngle

    January 1, 2016 at 9:37 pm

    I hope you realize that Donald Trump (aka The Bloviator) doesn’t get under my skin because I maintain he’s going no where … and I’m sticking to that thought. Happy New Year to you and WW.

     
  5. Elyse

    January 2, 2016 at 2:52 pm

    I believe that Trump will not win the presidency. But I really think the damage he has already done has changed the tenor of the country. People used to be embarrassed by their bigotry, their prejudice; now with Trump and others standing on podiums proclaiming theirs, well, Pandora’s box is wide open.

     
  6. composerinthegarden

    January 3, 2016 at 12:25 pm

    Eleanor, I share your fears and just trying to keep faith in the process, and the hope that Trump will go so far over the edge that he removes himself from the race. One can hope . . .

     
  7. imagesbytdashfield

    January 4, 2016 at 8:22 pm

    We cannot let fear consume us but damned if what’s going on isn’t enough to make you loose it all together!

     
  8. Lorna's Voice

    January 11, 2016 at 12:15 am

    Golly, it’s already been a heck of a year. 😳

     

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