Do you know what I discovered this week about living in America? Some of us have lost our ever-lovin’ minds. (I’m not saying who, but you know who you are.) Can we talk—shoot the breeze—jibber jabber—chew the fat? Who are these people who caused Donald Trump’s poll numbers to increase after he made such an ass of himself at the Republican debate and with his “bimbo” attacks against the moderator, Megyn Kelly? (Was it you? Say it isn’t so!) Who are those people who think Trump is presidential material after they knew he called women “fat pigs,” “dogs,” “slobs,” and “disgusting animals” just because a woman challenged or contradicted him at some point? (If it wasn’t you, then was it some of your relatives?) Have you identified the people who sent so many death threats to the moderator Megyn Kelly following the debate that she took an unplanned, unscheduled, suddenly announced two-week vacation to parts unknown? (Girl, tell me you weren’t one of the trolls that attacked poor Megyn after the debate. I’m not a fan of hers but she’s a human being, for Christ’s sake!)
My sisters and brothers, what is going on? Why is this joker who just got fired from his own TV show by NBC soaring in the polls as the top Republican candidate? Who is doing this? Is it our neighbors? I checked with mine and they swore they would never, ever do such a stupid thing as back a clown.
Cartoon used by permission: Rick McKee, The Augusta Chronicle/Cagle Cartoons
I’m totally flummoxed! I mean, I know I’m sane, and I think you’re sane—so why do there seem to be such a huge group of “insane” people suddenly pushing for the election of insanity? There is a part of me that says, “Calm down, Eleanor, the American people will do the right thing in the end. They won’t let this poser get anywhere near the Oval Office.” But when I review the tape of the Republican debate and hear the thunderous applause for Trump when he reiterated his misogynistic remarks about Rosie O’Donnell—and women in general—with smug glee, I am undone. The more I studied the tape looking for answers in the faces of the audience members (wondering if they were all nuts), the more puzzled I became. Until it dawned on me. The Republican debate was entertainment—not something to inform the viewer about each candidate’s policy positions because it got upstaged by The Donald. Fox News was the producer of a reality show, and Trump won the debate and the ratings with his blustery arrogance and loud-mouth buffoonery.
Cartoon used by permission: Nate Beeler, The Columbus Dispatch
Not being one to come to wild-eyed conclusions without searching for conclusive evidence, I began to scour the Internet to see what the average voter was saying about why they were rabid about The Donald for President in 2016. (I also wanted to see if any of these voters were peeps that I knew.) They blew my mind! From Michigan to New Hampshire to Iowa, loyalists proudly sported Donald Trump t-shirts and declared their undying love for the clown of the century.
Below is a compilation of quotes given to reporters over the course of several weeks. (The statements by the voters are exact transcriptions except when they respond to the “third wall”—a.k.a. “into the camera” or directly to my insults. In bold italics are my responses that I shouted in horrified shock at the TV while throwing popcorn at my TV screen.
Reporter in NH: Why do you support Donald Trump for president?
NH Voter: Because he’s going to make America great again!
MOI: How? How? How? Trump hasn’t said one specific policy statement yet. He side-steps direct policy questions and changes the subject—starts talking about how rich he is or how stupid his opponents are. A squirrel could see through his smoke and mirrors.
NH Voter: Did you just say something?
Reporter: You heard that too? Nooooo, I was waiting for your answer.
MOI: Just give me two ways that Neanderthal is going to “Make America great again”?
NH Voter: Wow, I love the way you throw your voice. Are you a ventriloquist in your off hours? Anyway, Trump is going to “bring it back bigger and better and stronger than ever before!” And like he says, he’s “going to be the greatest president that God ever created.” Not to mention, and I quote: “nobody will be tougher on ISIS.”
MOI: Auuuugh! Generalizations—all generalizations—all hot air! Can’t you see he’s making shit up, and you’re believing him? Ask him to give you specifics!
NH Voter: [Looking into the camera.] HEY, where did that popcorn come from? Is this a gift from The Donald—popcorn from heaven? [Proceeds to chew with great enthusiasm on the kernels of popcorn that pop through the camera into her mouth.] This would be something he would do. He’s so generous! All I have to say is “Trump’s the man; if he can’t save us, no one can.”
Cartoon used by permission: Christo Komarnitski, Bulgaria
MEANWHILE IN IOWA . . .
Reporter in IA: Why do you support Trump for President?
Voter in IA: Easy question. Because he’s most like me—like me and all my friends.
MOI: Most like you? Do you have gazillions of dollars, airplanes, and helicopters, a hot super-model wife, and your name atop scads of buildings? I don’t mean to be rude chick, but you look like you’re one welfare check away from being homeless.
Voter in IA: You better watch it, reporter-dude, or I’ll shove this corn-dog on a stick up your ass!
Reporter in IA: What? What did I do?
MOI: Look at the camera. It’s me, Bitch—an incredulous viewer—not the reporter! Look at me and answer the question. Why are you so sure that The Donald can handle the job of being president?
Voter in IA: [Looks straight into the camera.] Humph, you don’t have to get obnoxious. I will tell you why I know The Donald can “Make America Great Again”—just like he says. Did you see what a fabulous job he did on The Apprentice? If he can do that, he can run this great country of ours because he’ll know who to put in charge. Notice how he takes command on The Apprentice? If Mexico doesn’t stop sending illegals, rapists, and murderers across the border, he’ll just hire people to build a wall a thousand feet high and “fire” Mexico—(“no more trade with you, Mexico!”) until they behave. Or if the A-rabs won’t do what we tell them to, Trump will just bomb the ______ (beep) out of them. He’ll fire all those ayatollahs, ‘cause Trump’s the man, and he can!
Meme by inscribd.com
And then it hit me like a ton of bricks—just as I was going to throw the entire bowl of popcorn at the TV: the average American thinks we live in a reality show! They can’t tell the difference between the entertainment segments on TV, the Internet, or magazines, from the real world. Talk radio, YouTube videos, 19 Kids and Counting, the Kardashians, TV mega-church preachers, gossip rags, and Caitlyn Jenner’s new reality show (BTW, I don’t care what anyone does to their own body, but don’t try and sell what you’ve done as heroic to me, when it comes attached to a “marriage” certificate to a reality TV script and a high six-figure salary). Of course The Donald can be an all-controlling president of a country who kicks ass and takes no prisoners because he plays one on TV, just like Bruce Jenner can be a woman because he plays one on a reality show. Duh! Why didn’t I think of that?
Cartoon used by permission: Nate Beeler, The Columbus Dispatch/Cagle Cartoons
ELEANOR’S SELAH (“AHA”) MOMENT FROM THIS WEEK
I am discovering that as it pertains to the 2016 presidential election, we all need to be afraid—very afraid because it looks like a good percentage of our fellow Americans have permanently crossed over into fantasy land. Even Glenn Beck, that bastion of conservative craziness is perplexed and called Trump “the opposite of every great leader”—“the biggest flaming [ass] you could possibly imagine.” A zombie apocalypse is happening among us. In researching my theory, I came across a book written in 1985 that I had never heard of: Neil Postman’s, Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business. It is prophetic. I’m going to order a copy right now because I need as much ammunition I can get when I climb one of the Trump Towers and scream at the top of my lungs: WAKE UP AMERICA! WE’RE DYING FROM 24/7 AMUSEMENT, AND OUR BRAINS ARE BEING SUCKED OUT BY UNREALISTIC SCENERIOS BEING PORTRAYED AS REALITY. OPEN YOUR EYES TO WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON! P.S. TO THE VOTER WHO SAID “TRUMP WILL MAKE A GREAT PRESIDENT BECAUSE HE DID SUCH A GREAT JOB ON THE APPRENTICE . . .” OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD—GET A GRIP!
Cartoon used by permission: Manny Francisco, Manila, The Philippines/Cagle Cartoon
“The media has changed. We now give broadcast licenses to philosophies instead of people. People get confused and think there is no difference between news and entertainment. People who project themselves as journalists on television don’t know the first thing about journalism. They are just there stirring up a hockey game.”—Gary Ackerman
“We aren’t in an information age, we are in an entertainment age.”—Tony Robbins
“…On television, religion, like everything else, is presented, quite simply and without apology, as an entertainment. Everything that makes religion an historic, profound, sacred human activity is stripped away; there is no ritual, no dogma, no tradition, no theology, and above all, no sense of spiritual transcendence.” ― Neil Postman, Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business
ALL QUOTES FROM http://www.brainyquotes.com
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