28 May

Do you know what I discovered this week? The same thing you all discovered: The uber-Christian Josh Duggar from “19 Kids and Counting” fame has become a verb—as in “to duggar you”—and Christianity got another black eye. (Remember he worked [operative word is “worked”—past tense] for the Family Research Council that advocated opposing LGBT non-discrimination laws, birth control, and divorce?) Pretty soon my religion is going to go blind from all of the explosions in the face it keeps getting from the hypocrites whose lying lives keep backfiring who claim to represent Christ on Earth.

Duggar as verb Luckovich  Atlanta Journal Constitution

Cartoon Courtesy of Mike Luckovich, Atlanta Journal-Constitution

It turns out the Duggar parents had been covering up their oldest son’s “duggaring” while they tried to present themselves as holier than thou to the rest of the world for years. I KNEW IT! I called this hypocrisy cover-up quite a few years ago. When fellow Christians contacted me about their adoration for this family when Mama Duggar won the “Mother of the Year” award in 2004, I took one look at them and decided to distance myself from their media hype, sound the warning bell to any who would listen, and pray that the underbelly of the Duggars would be exposed sooner than later. The more the Duggars tried to hurt and condemn those who did not adhere to their rigid form of Christianity, the more I smelled something rotten in Denmark because I have seen this Christian legalism up-close-and-personal and knew that the outcome always seemed to produce something wicked. I wrote about it in my latest book: Fleeing Oz.

“Show me a place where women are not allowed to be in leadership along with men; show me a religious setting where women are not allowed to voice their opinions without being labelled ‘rebellious,’ and I will show you a place where the abuse of children is not very far beneath the surface of all its piety.” Eleanor Tomczyk, Fleeing Oz

Duggar condemnation

I was going to do an entire exposé on the Duggars and their hypocrisy (tormenting the LGBT community, interfering with women’s reproductive rights, shoving a perverted way of life down our throats as something God was down with), but you can read it for yourselves in the references. The articles are chilling—especially the one by the young woman who could have been a Duggar wife.* In the meantime, Mrs. Duggar—who boasts of having a clown car as a vagina—probably needs to re-examine what it is she’s been doing for the last 20 years “in Jesus’ name.” Mr. Duggar might want to take another look at his sexual philosophy of screwing his wife every other day but Sunday while controlling every single aspect of his wife and girls’ lives (hair must be permed and worn long, dresses must be long and shapeless to keep men from stumbling, hugs and kisses with opposite sex are verboten unless married, and birth control is of the devil). Just maybe Jim Bob’s actions (both controlling and out-of-control) drove his son, Josh, to do what he did (four of the victims being his sisters). The first time I saw a picture of the Duggars (when they were just 14 kids and counting), I didn’t see God’s liberating grace and joy, I saw a woman abused by a “wannabe stud-muffin” who should be ashamed of himself for passing off his “lie of family sexuality” as God’s perfect plan for the Earth. I didn’t see freedom for the female members in his family—I saw abuse—and I wept.

Duggars in Red

Duggars: 14 Kids and Counting

Anyway, going from the disgusting to the mundane, I have got to start packing. We sold our house, we bought another one, and now I have to get moving here. In a week or two, I will take a break from blogging, but I’ll let you know before I go. I am sure I’ll have a lot of blog fodder from moving—the concept of me moving my entire house to an entirely different city is fraught with comedic peril. Just know that this week, I am glad I still loves me some Jesus but no longer hang out in Oz because I am pretty disgusted with a lot of my fellow Christian peeps.

 Moving in the old days

Public Domain Photos (“Moving Day”)


I am discovering that hypocrisy is one of man’s worst failures. It colors everything we say and do, and no human is safe from its tentacles. Beware of people who claim to speak for God’s laws, and whose interpretation of His ways are rigid, unkind, loveless, graceless, controlling, and lacking in mercy. Even with Josh Duggar committing such vile acts against five little girls, I pray for God to have mercy on him and that his victims will be healed. Maybe through the public admittance of his “Duggarisms,” the women in Josh Duggar’s family (his sisters and his wife) might be set free now that the mirror of hypocrisy has shattered his life. May it start with the son and proceed through the father, who I ultimately hold responsible for imprisoning his family, and who is trying to do so to anyone foolish enough to follow this man’s example. Make it so, Lord Jesus—please make it so—or you’re not going to have much of a church left to bear witness to your character. Instead of Christ’s church, it will be Christ’s hypocrites.



(unless otherwise noted, all quotes are from

HYPOCRISY /həˈpäkrəsē/: “the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one’s own behavior does not conform; pretense.”—Google Online Dictionary

“For me, comedy starts as a spew, a kind of explosion, and then you sculpt it from there, if at all. It comes out of a deeper, darker side. Maybe it comes from anger, because I’m outraged by cruel absurdities, the hypocrisy that exists everywhere, even within yourself, where it’s hardest to see.”—Robin Williams

“There are three things in the world that deserve no mercy, hypocrisy, fraud, and tyranny.”—Frederick William Robertson

Kids have what I call a built-in hypocrisy antenna that comes up and blocks out what you’re saying when you’re being a hypocrite.”—Benjamin Carson

Ben Carson Hypocrisy Meme

“Dr. Carson—dear ‘Christian brother,’ I’ve been wondering why I can’t hear you. . .”—Eleanor Tomczyk


BMProof FleeingOz



Christian Jerks

Cartoon courtesy of Dan Piraro



Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.


Posted by on May 28, 2015 in Uncategorized


Tags: , , , , , , , ,


  1. Debra Lasby

    May 28, 2015 at 11:35 pm

    As a loyal reader, you hit it right on the head again. Thanks for taking the time….now get packing!

    • etomczyk

      May 28, 2015 at 11:44 pm

      Thanks Deb. To tell you the truth, I am overwhelmed at the concept of packing up this house. 20 years of living can collect so much “crap” and give a person such a headache! Oy! Thanks for stopping by.

  2. sondramsmith

    May 29, 2015 at 12:11 am

    Another story that has hit home. I lived with a Christian hypocrtie for 25 years. I was swept up in a church movement that I thought was following God. I look back and feel so stupid. But there is one thing I know, Jesus is no where to be found in the church that is passing for Christianity. I am thankful that I got out and I know that I love Jesus and He loves me.
    Never stop Eleanor–you are a voice we need to hear.

  3. calvin

    May 29, 2015 at 12:10 pm

    Good shtufffs my friend ‘E’, you kicked the FIFA soccer ball out of the stadium.

    I had my suspicions way way back with the fabric of the Duggar parents, no one smiles that much, accept maybe dishonest used cars salesmen and creepy televangelists (note: the first not always dishonest and the latter not always creepy).

    Hypocrisy is why I never wear anything made of wool. It’s itchy and rubs me in the wrong places, though wool does prevent Sheep from becoming lambchops. Nice cotton blended values, well worn and faded solid colours (pink, red, yellow or blue, I avoid puritan white for the obvious reasons), will even put up with some stains, and cotton just seems to fit better over time, feeling more natural, speaking for myself. Also I avoid polyester cloth, you just have to be suspect of the source -if its 100% man made, I’d rather be running around in the buff, at least everyone sees the real me, grinning and baring. In short if your going to wear a religion, Christianity or Hindu one needs to read and understand the accompanying labels on the inside -wash and wear isn’t necessarily a good t’ing and doesn’t mean one is squeaky clean.

    • etomczyk

      May 29, 2015 at 1:14 pm

      Calvin, your comment is so beautifully written, and as usual, I almost wish I had it BEFORE I wrote the post because it is so insightful. Love the imagery of the wool vs polyester and solid colors vs puritan white. Way to phrase the picture of hypocrisy, my friend.

  4. imagesbytdashfield

    May 30, 2015 at 8:00 am

    The most entertaining tap dancers around the issue are the religiously high and mighty when busted!

    • etomczyk

      May 30, 2015 at 10:37 am

      Teri. A truer line has never been said! So sad

  5. valentinelogar

    May 30, 2015 at 1:02 pm

    The last time a stepped foot in a church the priest told me I must return to the man who beat me, he was afterall my husband, the head of the home and I must have done something to deserve his anger. Yes, I drew breath in his presence.

    I realized then, it was not for me this ‘mans’ religion.

    There has been nothing to change my mind in the forty years since that day.

    You nailed it my friend. Now, look around your home and purge my dear. You will feel lighter for it and will have great fun in the establishing of a new nest without the weight of all the feathers from the old.

    • etomczyk

      June 1, 2015 at 11:36 pm

      Val. Your story horrifies me! Poor God. His “people” are horrid ambassadors for him.

      I have done (am doing) what you’ve suggested: purging, cleaning service, packing crew, and a gin and tonic every once and awhile (my suggestion). 🙂

  6. Elyse

    May 30, 2015 at 4:35 pm

    As Val said, you nailed it! I’ve never been one for organized religions, personally. The Golden Rule works just fine if you ask me.

    And I love the last cartoon. Brilliant!

    • etomczyk

      June 1, 2015 at 11:24 pm

      Thanks Elyse. I getting pretty tired of it all myself!

  7. aFrankAngle

    June 3, 2015 at 9:04 am

    Good news: Yep … you are right on again!

    Bad news: Another poor representation of Christians.

    Bad news: Another example for people to mistakenly characterize most or all Christians.

    Good news: I’ve never watched the show … and if it wasn’t for the hype reaching the news, I may not have ever known about the show, family, etc.

    • etomczyk

      June 3, 2015 at 10:44 pm

      Frank, Good News: I’ve never watched it either–refused to. But I had read enough about it (crazy people had boasted of the show’s example of righteous Christian living to me) to keep the show on my radar because I knew that the premise was horrid and also knew it would derail at some point. It had to. God must weep constantly over his so-called people’s antics.

      • aFrankAngle

        June 4, 2015 at 6:38 am

        A toast to non-watches … clink!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: