RSS

WHAT KEEPS YOU AWAKE AT NIGHT?

20 Oct

“Horror fiction, horror literature, and also horror fantasy are a genre of literature, which is intended to, or has the capacity to frighten, scare, or startle its readers by inducing feelings of horror and terror.”—Wikipedia

Do you know what I’ve discovered this week? Halloween is scaring the crap out of me this year. The horror level of this once benign celebration has been jacked up one hundredfold since I was a kid. Gone are the days when Halloween was represented by a few jack-o-lanterns lined along a home’s walkway accompanied by a cutout of a witch and a ghost bumping boots on a porch banister. Now it is full-out horror. Today, I saw a decorated Halloween house on the news that was so full of gore I could barely breathe. I had to keep looking over my shoulder as I ran on the treadmill to make sure no one was behind me in the dark corner of the basement. Between the dozen or so severed heads hanging from the property’s trees, the caged fake babies waiting to be eaten by some monster emerging from the deep, and the blood spurting out of the chopped off limbs of innocent victims (I saw a uniformed arm of a mailman and FedEx delivery man), I almost lost last night’s dinner while watching this all unfold on the Today Show.

Halloween Horror Top

(In the midst of my exercise routine, my husband (WW) joined me in the basement to exercise on his reclining stationary bike which is about six feet to the left of my treadmill in a rather dim corner of the basement. As is sometimes the norm in the morning, it takes WW a while to get moving [not the real talkative type] while I am a motor mouth from the time I rise until the time I close my eyes in the evening. And when I’ve had two cups of French Press coffee on top of my natural energy, I am a force to be reckoned with. I talk as if I’m afraid the world will stop on its axis before I can express all my thoughts to anyone who will listen and whose life might surely depend upon my vociferous “revelations.” I didn’t wait for WW’s greeting [he seemed to be having a hard time getting going] before launching into a diatribe about the morning news, as if he weren’t watching the same television which was about 18 feet in front of us both.)

ME: Hey Darlin’, you got here just in time to see the tail end of the Today Show hosts going through an over-the-top Halloween display in New Jersey. It’s called the Brighton Asylum and it is considered the scariest haunted house in America. The Today Show hosts screamed so much from the terror that Tamron (Hall) and Natalie (Morales) are hoarse.

Oh, my Gawd, did you hear what they just said? Tamron Hall was in such pain after the event that Al Roker thought she had a burst appendix. She had to be admitted into the hospital. But it wasn’t appendicitis! She screamed so much from the terror of being in that damn haunted house that she had a deep-tissue tear in her abdomen. Isn’t that amazing?

WW: Uh, huh . . .

ME: I’m telling you, I just don’t get the fascination with horror. I know you like horror movies—you have all your life. I’ll never forget the time you tricked me into seeing A Nightmare on Elm Street—a kid’s movie my ass. I dreamt about Freddy Krueger for years. See I have this theory that . . .

Werewolf Feel Safe Meme

Please excuse the misspelling in this meme. Apparently, monsters can’t spell.

WW: Hum . . .

ME:   Only people who have never had to suffer horror in real life can enjoy horror movies. I mean, no disrespect to you Babe, but you’re a privileged white male, and you know nothing about suffering, chil’. Umph, umph, umph, I wrote the book on suffering, my man. Now I can tell you a thing or two about real-life horror—I sure ‘nuff can. My childhood was one serial horror story after another. Freddy Krueger probably lived under my bed before he made his screen debut. Hee, hee, hee! Whew, Lord Jesus—preach it, girl!

WW: Oooooh . . .

ME:  I know, I know. You think that horror movies and Halloween haunted houses are just fake with actors plastered in red-dye corn syrup blood and oatmeal standing in for brains so the zombie actors can realistically scoop them up and eat them with their skeletal fingers. It’s all in good fun, you think. I’ve been married to you long enough to know that what you really consider horror is all the bad news I consume as a blogger—just to stay informed. If I’m being honest with myself, the media hysterics can get a bit much—if I do say so myself. Between the ISIS beheadings and the 4,500 dead African bodies from Ebola that we keep hearing will overrun America, I have to admit it can get a little bit terrorizing.

News Horrors Patrick Chappatte The International New York Times

Used by Permission: Patrick Chappatte, The International New York Times

WW: A-CHOO!

ME:     God bless you! I hope you’re not coming down with a cold. I knew leaving that window open last night was a big mistake. First of all, there was a full moon, and I know it sounds silly, but I find it difficult to sleep with my bedroom windows open on nights like that. I mean anything can crawl through an open window on a full-moon night. Next thing you know, you’re chopped liver for some zombie, and there you have it. I grew up going to see horror movies about the Wolf Man and Frankenstein and even though I know they aren’t real, it still gives me the creeps. Everybody knows that when there is a full moon—goodnight, Irene! Speaking of those old make-believe monsters, do you think they’d find the events of our time too scary to make an appearance? I mean, how could the fear of a bite from Dracula hold up against the scare of ISIS, Ebola, and Fox News? Talk about horror stories. A-N-Y-HOO . . .

Real World to Scary for Vampire Olle Johansson Sweden

Used by permission: Olle Johansson, Sweden

WW: BRRRIIP!

ME: Oh, my God, did you just fart? Euuuew, Babe. That is sooooo gross. I still have twenty minutes to go on the treadmill. and I can barely breathe now. Thanks a lot. Smells like something died over there on that bike.

WW: Euuuew . . .

ME:   Oh, you agree, huh?  You’re such a crack-up. I told you not to eat that extra helping of fava beans. Anyway, where was I? Oh, the media. Have you noticed how they purposely write the lead ins or the headlines with a question to hook the listener and scare the shit out of us? You can be going along minding your own business without a care in the world when you hear a commercial for the 6 O’clock News:

“Exotic, highly poisonous, yellow snake escaped his illegal captivity and is popping up in toilets across the city. Could your toilet be next and are your family’s asses in jeopardy? Tune in later to watch News4 at 6 for more harrowing details.”

ME: And don’t get me started on Fox News or the Rush Limbaughs of the world—they are the worst fear mongers on the planet:

“Obama letting in Ebola as payback for slavery. Is any ‘True American’ safe from this Imperialist President? Will we all have to die before he gets his lazy ass off the golf course and does his job?”

ME: I mean Americans don’t need Halloween monsters to scare us, all we need is our run-amok media to cause us to lose control of our bowels.

Ebola Fear Cam Cardow Cagle Cartoons

Used by permission: Cam Cardow, Cagle Cartoons

ME: So, where was I? Oh yeah, your penchant for horror movies. Do you remember when you took me to see George Romero’s Night of the Living Dead when we were dating? Oh my God that was the scariest movie. The best thing about that movie was that a black man had the lead and was the hero. That was really somethin’ in that day. Raised quite a fuss if I remember. What was his character’s name? Ben, I think. Oh, but the worst was when you whispered that line in my ear from the movie as we were walking along a dark street. I think you did it to get me to lean in closer so you could put your arm around me, you ol’ sly dog.  It was the line the brother said to his sister in the cemetery that foreshadowed the appearance of the zombies. It made me pee my pants. What did he say, exactly?

(At that exact moment, I heard my husband shout from upstairs in the kitchen: “Who are you talking to, Cutie? I just woke up, and I’m going to fix myself some breakfast. Do you want any?” I looked over at the empty reclining stationary bike, and my heart stopped as I felt an unrecognizable presence lean into the back of my neck [breath so hot it singed the hair off the nape of my neck] and whisper into my left ear:

THEY’RE COMING TO GET YOU, BARBARA! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, AAAHH-HA, HA, HA, HA!”)

Scary Face imgarcade dot com darqd

Google Image/ Scary Face imgarcade.com

P.S. The author is not really as silly as she has presented herself to be in this Halloween tall tale. If she were, life would have imitated art, and her very intelligent, very no-nonsense, and otherwise very sweet husband would have conjured up monsters long ago to kill her in her sleep on some dark Halloween night when the full moon was in full bloom.

Baby Boomer Witches David Fitzsimmons The Arizona Star

Used by Permission: Baby Boomer Witches David Fitzsimmons The Arizona Star

“I love horror. I love ‘The Shining,’ ‘Friday the 13th,’ ‘Halloween,’ all those kinds of things. I love zombies, especially ’28 Days Later’ and ’28 Weeks Later,’ where the zombies are going faster than the George Romero ones. I love being scared; there’s something that’s awesome about your heart rate going up like that.”Ricky Schroder

“What scares me is what scares you. We’re all afraid of the same things. That’s why horror is such a powerful genre. All you have to do is ask yourself what frightens you and you’ll know what frightens me.”—John Carpenter

frontcover

Want to read a real-life horror Story? | Available at Amazon

Check out more about the author: www.eleanortomczyk.com

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Eleanor Tomczyk and “How the Hell Did I End Up Here?” with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 
17 Comments

Posted by on October 20, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

17 responses to “WHAT KEEPS YOU AWAKE AT NIGHT?

  1. Elyse

    October 20, 2014 at 9:18 pm

    Be afraid. Be very afraid.

     
  2. Let's CUT the Crap!

    October 20, 2014 at 10:59 pm

    There is nothing to fear except fear itself.
    You’re ever on top of your game. Love this post. I don’t like what Halloween has become. Zombies, brains and falling flesh. Call me when it’s over. 🙄

     
    • etomczyk

      October 20, 2014 at 11:03 pm

      Thanks Tess. Halloween as gotten really grotesque hasn’t it? I don’t see the point of going through the morbid haunted houses. My psyche gets fried enough just thinking about the wars and rumors of wars we face, not to mention the diseases and the gun violence. Who needs zombies when you’ve got Isis. Thanks for stopping by and your lovely comment.

       
      • Let's CUT the Crap!

        October 21, 2014 at 9:44 am

        Escapism. Not my cup of tea but I believe that’s what all these participants in the gory Halloween are experiencing. Ugh!

         
  3. Joanne

    October 22, 2014 at 11:48 am

    Loved it, Eleanor! And you’re so right — reality IS more frightening than fiction.

     
    • etomczyk

      October 23, 2014 at 10:54 pm

      Thanks Joanne. . .

       
  4. Valentine Logar

    October 22, 2014 at 3:17 pm

    Oddly, I don’t like silly horror movies, I do love a good psychological thriller though. One of my all time, scare the pants off me and I never would babysit after seeing it, ‘When a Stranger Calls’, the original from 1979 with Carol Cane.

    Loved this one, you did good. WW would never conjure monsters you are far too good too him

     
    • etomczyk

      October 23, 2014 at 10:57 pm

      Val. I love psychological thrillers as well. Remember “Wait Until Dark”? Yikes!

      Glad you liked my story. Take care.

       
  5. silentlyheardonce

    October 22, 2014 at 3:19 pm

    I use to love horror movies. But today the blood and gore look too real. Shivers.

     
  6. composerinthegarden

    October 26, 2014 at 1:06 pm

    Oh my, Eleanor, you really hit me in the solar plexus with this one (and the bottom of my spine, where, if I still had a tail, it would be tucked between my legs as I ran!) My tolerance for horror has marginally increased since childhood but not by much. In addition to the terrors of waking life, as you so appropriately included, I’m still a little nervous when I take the dog out at midnight after watching True Blood. Mostly, I avoid that stuff – why put those images into your mind that you won’t be able to shake later in a moment of nervousness. I tried to watch the new TV show “Constantine” last night but turned it off halfway through – it rattled me and made my nonexistent prehensile tail shake and shiver. Enough gore and blood in the real world – who needs extra? Halloween – mermaids and angels and robots, OK? Great post, with a great point, and once again you made me laugh, cry, and think.

     
    • etomczyk

      October 26, 2014 at 3:59 pm

      Thanks Lynn. I had a great time writing this one because of the “unexpected” which is the thing that always frightens us, isn’t it? We expect life to respond in a certain way, and all of a sudden we hear terrorist voices where we shouldn’t, diseases pop up where they never existed before, and mayhem smashes into our lives when we least expect it. No wonder we honor a day when we can poke fun at what keeps us awake at night. Happy Halloween!

       
  7. imagesbytdashfield

    October 26, 2014 at 6:34 pm

    The news is freakishly frightening! I don’t think I’ve watched any horror flicks in a long time (getting older and what’s going on in the world is scary enough, thank you!) but I watched The Omen, Poltergeist, The House on Haunted Hill and things like that. Today’s horror movies are just blood baths. Now I’m all about Sci-Fi 🙂

     
  8. aFrankAngle

    October 28, 2014 at 7:55 pm

    i’m not a horror fan .. not sure if I ever have been … but cheers to waking up talkative … and it doesn’t take me long to get going either.

    Meanwhile, don’t ever watch Fox or listen to Rushbo … never! … Hear that … never! They are at Nincompoop level.

     
    • etomczyk

      October 29, 2014 at 6:42 am

      Frank. You’re so right about Fox and Rushbo. The Nincompoop list keeps getting longer and longer. I have a feeling that after the mid-terms are over, the list will increase ten-fold. Heaven help us all. Thanks for stopping by.

       
      • aFrankAngle

        October 29, 2014 at 6:46 am

        Thus for sanity, it’s best not to even come in contact with them. Meanwhile, I’m feeling news deprived as starting my day with CNN is on sabbatical because Dish Network and Turner Broadcasting (Time Warner) are having a hissy with each other, so I don’t get CNN and HLN at the moment.

         
  9. talesfromthemotherland

    November 2, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    Very clever and fun, Eleanor! You really nailed it for Halloween… I didn’t see that coming, at the end. Have you seen Nightcrawler yet, with Jake Gyllenhal? It’s all about the news and the lengths stringers will go to to get the most graphic, scary story… I thought of you while watching it! Very chilling and thought provoking movie. Like you, I’m not a horror fan– I can’t get the images out of my head. And, you might as well have been describing me in that first (aside): Chat, chat, chatty!

     
    • etomczyk

      November 2, 2014 at 8:06 pm

      Hi Dawn. No I haven’t seen Nightcrawler, but it sounds intriguing. I’ll have to put it on my list of “must sees” when it comes to “On Demand.” It was fun writing the Halloween piece, but that is about as scary as I can let my mind go. 🙂

       

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

 
%d bloggers like this: