Do you know what I’ve discovered? My nerves are shot, and I’m about to turn into one “angry black woman”! It’s only the third week in January, and I don’t know how I’m going to make it through to the end of February, let alone the rest of the year. I entered 2012 with a sinus infection so debilitating that it almost had me singing with Jesus before my allotted time on Earth was up. Then some perverted excuse of a Republican Congressman said the FLOTUS had a fat ass (“Oh no, he didn’t!”) . . .
Republican lawmaker Jim Sensenbrenner (Google Image)
The lawmaker appears to have made two separate comments about the first lady’s derriere, both connected with his appearance at a church’s Christmas bazaar in Hartford, Wis. Roland Martin Reports
. . .and a stadium full of South Carolinians at the Republican debate (home of the Bible Belt) turned into a cat-calling, standing ovation, KKK rally when minorities and the poor in general were maligned by Newt “for truly I am God” Gingrich as he adamantly refused to apologize for his insensitivity at best and his downright racism at worst. But just as I was trying to squeeze the sadness out of my heart that there are too many people in my beloved country who would love to see me back in the maid’s uniform of my mother having graduated first in my class from Newt’s “Janitorial Prep School,” when someone sent me a YouTube clip I had missed of the Grand Poobah’s 2012 predictions.
Pat Robertson (The Grand Poobah)/Google Image
“Your country will be torn apart by internal stress. A house divided cannot stand. Your president holds a radical view of the direction of your country which is at odds with the majority. Expect chaos and paralysis….” Pat Robertson
Oh, crap! Not the apocalypse on top of everything else! I was so flummoxed that I sent my husband (WW) a frantic text message:
“Babe, come home. Robertson declaring murder, mayhem, & chaos for 2012! UR 60th birthday is next week. Should we continue 2 celebrate life or should we run 2 the hills? Should we start stockpiling guns and food while we wait for the Rapture? Oy—who knew I’d live 2 see the day a black man could be so powerful that he’d be both the President of the United States and the Anti-Christ? HELP!”
Text from WW: “No worries, Cutie. The Poobah doesn’t own our joy—we do! I choose 2 celebrate life and enjoy it to the fullest come what may. Let’s go get a joy transfusion for my birthday.”
Before slipping away for our rendezvous with joy, WW and I went to the movies. Queen Latifah and Dolly Parton’s Joyful Noise was just what the doctor ordered. Most music has a way of soothing the soul, but there ain’t nothin’ like gospel music to start the feet a tappin’, hands a clappin’, and voices a beltin’ out the tunes that make the heart become merry and cause one to forget his or her troubles. (Don’t believe the bad reviews—of course, Joyful Noise is hokey and the story implausible—but the music outshines the storyline and lifts the spirit, and it doesn’t matter if you’re Christian, non-Christian, religious, non-religious, or an alien from outer space, you’ll be dancing a jig through the mall back to your car smiling at everyone you meet.)
So WW and I are blowin’ this Popsicle stand for a quiet infusion of joy. We’ll be back next week—same time, same place with a full report of the good times had by all. If you should bump into this week’s crazies, give them a message for me:
“Fuhget you, Gingrich and Sensenbrenner, and fuhget you too Robertson.”
Joyful Noise Movie Trailer/Google Image
“I’ll sue any publicist that uses this as a money quote, but the fan in me felt a giddy, guilty pleasure watching Joyful Noise. Please, don’t let this get around!” Richard Corliss/Time Entertainment
In 1988 Pat Robertson said God told him that he would be president. He didn’t even become the Republican nominee.
In late 1976, Robertson predicted that the end of the world was coming in October or November 1982. In a May 1980 broadcast of The 700 Club he stated, “I guarantee you by the end of 1982 there is going to be a judgment on the world.” Wikipedia
In 1405 BC God said: “You may be wondering among yourselves, ‘How can we tell the difference, whether it was God who spoke or not?’ Here’s how: If what the prophet spoke in God’s name doesn’t happen, then obviously God wasn’t behind it; the prophet made it up. Forget about him.” Deuteronomy 18:22—The Message Bible
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